The Horniest Crap on the Interweb

Most Recent Articles

President Barack Obama’s Full DNC Speech (Video)

Posted by on Jul 28, 2016

 


 
On the 3rd night of the Democratic National Convention, President Obama delivered a moving, captivating, optimistic vision of America to counter the doom and gloom shit-sandwich we’re served on the regular.

This is the best orator in the US doing what he does better than anyone else.

Regardless of who wins in November, America will surely miss what Obama brings to the podium.

Read More

Doctor Strange Official Trailer 2 (Video)

Posted by on Jul 25, 2016

 

 
Another San Diego Comic-Con gem.

Read More

Justice League Official Comic-Con Trailer (Video)

Posted by on Jul 23, 2016

 

 
Yes, please.

Read More

WONDER WOMAN Comic-Con Trailer (Video)

Posted by on Jul 23, 2016

 

 
Wonder Woman lookin damn good.

Read More

Donald Trump, WTF Was That?

Posted by on Jul 22, 2016

 

"SO THIS IS HOW LIBERTY DIES...WITH THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE." SIGH

“SO THIS IS HOW LIBERTY DIES…WITH THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE.” SIGH

 

I tried hard to hope that Donald Trump would use his convention speech to come out as a more moderate, centrist candidate representing ALL Americans. That an inkling of an idea, policy or detailed plan might slip through the hateful cracks. That a optimistic, unifying vision would be presented to voters.

Alas, it was not meant to be.

Instead, America got: “Be afraid white people. VERY afraid. Only Trump Can Save You.”

It was 75 minutes of angry and intimidating political theater (my first time hearing blatant Fascism sold in English!) Trump painted a dystopian nightmare version of America where immigrants, terrorists and cop-killers are lurking around every corner plotting to kill you – and bad trade deals and Hillary Clinton are conspiring to destroy your life.

Trump’s entire red-faced speech was a never-ending merry-go-round of yelling about something bad, telling us who to blame for it, and then promising he’s the only one to end it or fix it with an accompanying superlative. Repeat.

There was no talk about American history, our culture(s), or what differentiates us from the rest of the world. No hint of what actually makes America exceptional, no talk of lofty American ideals and no mention of coming together to achieve great things.

Only anger and fear.

Even if you give Trump the benefit of the doubt that he can/will make America great, The Donald didn’t offer one single way to achieve greatness. Sure, he promised to end crime, blow up separation of church and state, rip up trade deals, and force the world bend their knee to the alter of America – but not a hint of how to accomplish any of it, or how/why it would make America better.

To his “credit”, Trump did offer details on Immigration (build a wall, ban Muslims, end catch & release, kick out people on overstayed Visas), but otherwise not a single plan or coherent policy whatsoever. Midway through the fear-mongering Trump actually teased that he’d outline his Economic plan later in his address, but he somehow never got around to it during the longest nomination acceptance speech in recent history.

Trump did ram one message down our throats: “I am the Law and Order candidate!” At one point, Trump screamed “Law and Order” four times in a row as if he was reading aloud the afternoon lineup for the USA Network. People cheered for this man blatantly selling himself as a future Dictator, and they gave fascism a thunderous standing ovation. Gulp.

Fighting terror, keeping out/kicking out immigrants, stomping out protests, and negotiating/enforcing trade deals. That’s it. That’s how Trump makes America great again.

We’re at the point where Republicans barely even talk about the economy anymore. America’s economy is leaps and bounds better since they last occupied the White House, so Republicans can only scream about bad shit happening in other countries and threaten the same will happen here without “True Conservatives” in power.

In Trump’s America, the only thing families should worry about are terrorists, political correctness, cop-killers, and Hillary Clinton. Not low paychecks, putting food on the table, affording school or medical care, climbing out of debt, fixing crumbling infrastructure, or poisoning of city water-systems. Not a single acknowledgement of the systematic injustices facing minorities, nor even a slight concern about police shooting unarmed Americans. No mention of inequality or a changing climate. Not even a pretend care about any issues that concern the majority of America’s youth, women, gays, blacks or Latinos.

It’s as if the only Americans he ever meets are in the Fox News studio.

trump double dong RNC gif

The one area Trump excelled was blaming Hillary Clinton for every bad thing happening in every country in the world. Obviously, Trump has yet to learn what the Secretary of State actually does, but ain’t nobody got time for that when screaming “Lock Her Up!” is so much fun!

Admittedly, my favorite part of the speech came when Trump bragged about making billions by abusing a rigged system, but then spun this scumbaggery as the main reason why he’s the guy with the experience to fix the broken system that made him billions. That really happened.

Another unintentionally hilarious moment came when Trump proudly commended his Republican audience for applauding his promise to protect the LGBTQ community from Islamic terrorists. I guess previous GOP audiences were cool with terrorists killing The Gays, but thanks to Trump’s wisdom and guidance, this Cleveland audience was saved.

The scariest thing is that Trump isn’t even trying to court non-Republicans into his camp with ideas or even a positive outlook. He’s doubling down on the divisive anger and paranoia, and hoping the scared white right-wing vote will outnumber Democrats, Liberals, minorities and women. By repeating crap like: “Were going to win with Terrorism. We’re going to win fast!”  Trump is clearly hedging his entire campaign on betting that terrorists attack America before the election to prove him right. He’ll scream (and tweet) that only the omniscient Donnie-with-the-Good-Brain warned against an attack, so obviously he should be King, ok!?!

I know, I’m too hard on the guy when I say he’s a con-man running a sham campaign. After all, Trump is Our Voice! The guy who bilked the system for his fortune will fix the system so no one else can make a fortune the way he did! The guy who made billions abusing workers and screwing contractors out of pay will suddenly look out for the working man! The guy who ships his production jobs to Asia will suddenly protect American jobs and keep employers from abusing cheap labor the way he does! The thrice-married philanderer is the moral compass of the nation! The most elitist candidate to ever run for President is suddenly THE man of the people!

And don’t forget, Trump will protect the Constitution by strongly enforcing the rule of law against immigrants, Muslims, political opponents, protesters, pesky journalists, and any country that dare defy him.

This is what passes as “leadership” these days.

Authoritarianism and fear-mongering is how we become great.

Prepare for a HYUGE, terrifying few months of terror campaigning.

 

Read More

Jon Stewart Takes Over Colbert to Talk Trump (Video)

Posted by on Jul 22, 2016

 

 

Jon Stewart stopped by The Late Show to take over Stephen Colbert’s desk and talk Trump.

Definitely worth the watch the see Stewart do his thing and shred Trump and Republican hypocrisy for supporting a candidate who is everything they said they hated for the last 8 years.

Watch: Jon Stewart Takes Over Colbert’s Late Show Desk – Youtube

Read More

Gov. Mike Pence’s Full RNC Speech (Video)

Posted by on Jul 21, 2016

 


 
Sure, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence is the most right-wing Vice Presidential nominee in recent history, but Pence is a much better, crisper, and more genuine salesman of this crappy, BS-filled pitch than carnival barker, Donald Trump.

Watch Pence’s full RNC speech above.

Read More

Messy Breakup Ends Epic Era for Dwyane Wade and Miami Heat

Posted by on Jul 7, 2016

Wade heat lifer

HEAT LIFER

 

13 amazing years. 12 All Star seasons. 5 Finals. 3 rings.

We watched him grow from Flash to WoW. We watched the superstar emerge while almost singlehandedly carrying the Heat to greatness in 2006 (Game 3, anyone?). He convinced his super-friends to take their talents to South Beach, and we watched four of the most thrilling NBA seasons in recent memory.

But now Dwyane Wade is leaving Miami and going home to Chicago – not to chase rings, but to chase respect.

Since being drafted with 5th pick in 2003, Wade has been the face of the Miami Heat franchise, and the club’s all-time leader in games played, minutes, points, field goals, assists, steals and 2nd all time in blocks. Wade accounts for over 9% of the TOTAL points in Miami Heat history – and 100% of its championships.

Somehow, the expression “End of an Era” seems small.

From Dwyane Wade to Heat Nation:

Dear Miami,

This has been an extremely emotional and tough decision to come to. After 13 years, I have decided to embark on a new journey with the Chicago Bulls. This was not an easy decision, but I feel I have made the right choice for myself and my family.

I started my NBA career with the Miami Heat in 2003 and it has been an honor to have played with them and help build a winning franchise with three NBA championships. I look back with pride and amazement at all we have accomplished together. I want to express my gratitude to the Arison family, Pat Riley, Coach Erik Spoelstra, the coaching staff, and the entire Miami Heat organization.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank the Miami community and especially #HEATNATION for all of their love and support over the years. It has been truly incredible. I am deeply moved and appreciative of the positive messages from my fans expressing that they want what’s best for me and I know they will support my decision. The memories including championship parades and five conference titles are incredible moments we have shared that will always remain close to my heart as I begin the next chapter of my life.

Growing up in Robbins, Ill., I never dreamed that an NBA career could have even been possible and that one day I would wear a Chicago Bulls jersey. Watching the Bulls growing up inspired me at an early age to pursue my dream of becoming a basketball player. My most treasured memories were watching my dad play basketball on the courts of Fermi Elementary School and developing my game at the Blue Island Recreation Center. I have never forgotten where I came from and I am thankful to have an opportunity to play for the team that first fueled my love of the game. Many of my family members still live in Chicago and I am excited to return home to a city very close to my heart.

I look forward to returning to my roots and to what lies ahead.

Much Love and Respect,

D. Wade

Although Heat Nation is certainly still reeling from the news, we can’t begrudge the man for wanting to work for a different company after 13 years in the same office, especially after things got acrimonious.

It has to suck to be the top employee in the company’s history but never treated as such, and especially not this summer. There was no “We Want Wade” campaign, no Miami-Wade County push, no sending Heat players to NY to woo him, no attention even paid to him until after Whiteside and KD did their thing. Pat Riley didn’t even call or meet with Wade during the offseason.

Wade was the personal embodiment of “Heat Lifer” and an unselfish player who sacrificed time and again for the betterment of his team. Imagine just how disrespected he must have felt to leave the city where he built his legacy.

The Heat, for their part, pride themselves on family, loyalty and taking care of its own, but apparently those ideals have a sell-by date.

It didn’t have to be this way, but breakups always suck. Now our favorite player leaves town to return “home” and play for the Bulls, the team he grew up idolizing.

Here’s Riley’s initial statement to Dan Le Batard:

“SADDDDDDD!!!! SO saddddddd! I will never forget the sixth game in Dallas in 2006. DW rebounded the ball, and threw it to the heavens and the Heat universe was perfect for that moment. Our first world championship. Our universe is not perfect today. It will be fraught with anger, judgment, blame instead of THANK YOU!!! Ten years ago. Ten years older. Ten years wiser. Ten years changed. All of us. Dwyane had a choice, and he made it. He went home. Bad, bad summer for us. But there will be another 10 years, and it will be someone or something else in 2026. Move on with no blood or tears. Just thanks. I truly loved Dwyane, but families grow, change and get on with another life. He will always be a part of us. ALWAYS! And no more bruises and enough fighting. Let’s just fly above it if we can and never forget. I feel his pain and pride for what pushed him over the ledge. Been there. Forever, for always, your coach I will be. FOREVER!”

It’s easy to play the blame game or scream about “Loyalty!” – but it’s obvious things got too ugly between Wade, Riley and the Arisons. Basketball might be entertainment to us fans, but to players and teams, it’s work and business. Riley’s words acknowledge the Heat know they insulted their superstar, but they felt that a mid-30s guard wasn’t worth tying up max dollars for multiple years.

Riley and the Arisons made a business decision – it’s that simple. Cold and practical, but simple. Wade still feels he’s a respect-demanding star (rightly so) and left for a club that will treat him accordingly.

The Heat (albeit passive-aggressively) were ready to move on. Dwyane Wade reluctantly moved on. Heat Nation isn’t there yet.

We have plenty of time to figure out if all parties made the correct decision in ending the relationship, but there is no denying it was a helluva historic HOF-worthy run for the 13 years the marriage lasted.

Dwyane Wade, the Heat Lifer, is a class act and will be missed.

Today is a sad day for Heat Nation, but I know I’m not alone in looking forward to the day when #3 is retired proudly and respectfully in the rafters of the AAA where it belongs.

This is, and always will be, Wade County.

Source: Dwyane Wade’s epic Miami story ends in messy breakup, says Dan Le Batard | Miami Herald

Source: Dwyane Wade writes letter to Miami fans after leaving Heat for Bulls | SI.com

Read More

Germany Coach caught in yet ANOTHER disgusting incident (Video)

Posted by on Jun 16, 2016

 

STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD!

STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD!


 
Germany’s coach, Joachim Low, can’t not be repulsive. Dude got caught again on camera inspecting and cleaning his deepmost crevices.
 

 
If you need a reminder, here he is eating boogers at the World Cup in 2010.
 

Read More

Darwinism Reminder – Ted Cruz Edition

Posted by on May 4, 2016

 

A PERECT FAIL ENDING FOR TEAM TED CRUZ

A PERECT FAIL ENDING FOR TEAM TED CRUZ

Read More

White House Correspondents’ Dinner (Video)

Posted by on May 2, 2016

 

 

 
The White House hosted its annual Correspondents’ Dinner (aka Nerd Prom) last weekend, and as expected, both Larry Wilmore and President Obama slayed it.

Both Wilmore and Obama took the expected shots at Trump, Sanders, Hillary, Republicans and the general craziness of Washington and the News over the last 8 years.

This is a great (and deserved) stage for Wilmore, and he didn’t shy away from the controversial and painfully honest material he’s known for. As for Obama, this will sadly be his last WHCD – but regardless of what you think of his politics, you can’t deny Obama is a helluva orator. Oh yeah, he’s also cool as hell. Mic-drop.

Watch Obama and Wilmore above, or at the links below:

WATCH: President Obama at White House Correspondents’ Dinner 2016 FULL SPEECH – Youtube.com

WATCH: Larry Wilmore at White House Correspondents’ Dinner 2016 [WHCD FULL SPEECH] – Youtube.com

Read More

“BATMAN: The Killing Joke” Trailer (Video)

Posted by on Apr 27, 2016

 


 
Oh, that feeling when one of your favorite books of all time is finally made into a movie — and it looks badass as fuck.

DC/WB finally turned The Killing Joke into a full length movie, and judging by the R Rating, the cartoon will not pull any punches. Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill are reprising their classic roles as Batman and Joker respectively.

Alan Moore & Brian Bolland’s dark-as-hell book gives insight into Joker’s origins and his psyche as he tests his theory that “All it takes is One Bad Day” to turn good men bad. Oh, and a brutal crippling attempted-murder and torture to boot.

Generally accepted as the BEST Batman story, The Killing Joke changed the Batman canon for good. Here’s to hoping the delightful madness of The Killing Joke carries on screen.

Read More

Suicide Squad – Blitz Trailer (Video)

Posted by on Apr 11, 2016

 


 
WB released a new kick-ass Suicide Squad trailer featuring a ton of crap to distract from talk of reshoots, and try to make critics forget about the dour tone of Batman v Superman.

Who wants more Joker, more Harley and more action? Everyone apparently. Looks like a helluva ride.

WATCH: Suicide Squad Blitz Traile – Youtube.com

Read More

ROGUE ONE: A Star Wars Story – Official Trailer (Video)

Posted by on Apr 7, 2016

 


 
The first Rogue One trailer dropped and the Star Wars universe is officially expanded.

For those of you who didn’t know this was coming, Disney is not only making more Skywalker Saga movies (Episodes 7, 8 & 9), but also anthology movies about events elsewhere in the galaxy far, far away. Disney’s goal is to have Star Wars movies every year until we all die.

Rogue One will have the tone of a war/heist movie that pre-dates Episode IV – A New Hope, and tell the story of a Rebel group stealing the plans to the original Death Star.

Sure we have to wait until 2017 to find out more about Luke, Rey and Kylo Ren, but in the meantime, its a Rebellion…let’s Rebel.

Read More

NFL finally acknowledges link between Football and CTE

Posted by on Mar 15, 2016

 

Living Brain Scans of 5 NFL Players

Living Brain Scans of 5 NFL Players


 

Although it’s been known by scientists for yearsthe NFL finally acknowledged the link between football-related head trauma and chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE.

Source: Top NFL official acknowledges link between football-related head trauma and CTE for first time.

Source: League of Denial: The NFL’s Concussion Crisis | FRONTLINE | PBS.

Read More