Crap you should read Monday


Daily Darwinism Reminder

Today’s Crap is dedicated to my favorite non-Katy Perry person in the world, Horn-y Contributor (and my brother) J-Smitty. Today’s is Smitty’s 32nd birthday, and I’m hoping all you Hornballs join me in wishing him the Horniest of birthdays.

Now let’s get Crappin’….


Washington Issues

Two big stories came out of Washington last week, one is important and the other not at all…guess which one got more attention.

$25 billion mortgage settlement was finalized which is supposed to be the big government punishment to the financial industry for the worst nationwide crisis in the last 50 years. The money allegedly go towards reducing principal balances for “qualified” homeowners, and maybe about $2,000 to the few that actually qualify as well.

The Catholic Church went off this week in response to the White House’ plan to mandate all insurance plans provide birth control (from condoms to day-after pills) even those where religious institutions are the employers. The White House amended the plan in a compromise to allow people could go straight to their insurance companies instead of to their church for the coverage, but of course that isn’t enough now that they have something to hate Obama for.

So rather than talk about how banks were let off with no arrests and a settlement that pays back homeowners barely $2000 for ruining their lives, we’re talking about how President Obama declared war on Religion. Uch.

"I swear to not tell people how to live their life. That's what Religion is for..."


Apple and Chinese Slave Labor

Apple is now bigger than Microsoft and Google combined. Besides the fact that Apple geeks buy every single iProduct, the major reason Apple reports such egregious profits is that they keeps production costs low by using cheaper components from overseas manufacturers. Those manufacturers like China’s Foxconn, keep prices low with unconscionable labor practices and a slave-like environment.

Now hundreds of thousands are protesting in an ‘ethical iPhone’ campaign to get Apple to stop using these  shady manufacturers who treat human rights and labor laws like toilet paper. They’re taking their protests straight to the world’s 6 largest Apple stores.

Its disgusting what takes place, just know its your fault because you’re buying the goods they make. If that doesn’t make you feel crappy, maybe the article and videos below will do the trick.

READ: In China, Human Costs are Built Into an iPad —


NRA Nuttiness

Wayne LaPierre of the National Rifle Association took the stage at CPAC to tell the fellow nutters in attendance that President Obama’s lackadaisical approach to gun control in his first term is part of a Massive Obama Conspiracy to deceive voters and hide his true intentions to destroy the 2nd amendment” in his 2nd term. So Obama doing absolutely nothing in his first term obviously means he’s going to take away gun rights in his 2nd term. What Crap.

LaPierre is so vehement about it, and there are actually people that applaud. What’s more amazing, the lengths people will go to lie, or that there are idiots out there who believe this crap and repeat it?


Other Crap you should read

  • Mitt Romney won both the Maine Caucus and the C-PAC Convention Caucus over the weekend. This sounds exciting for Rombot, but only 6000 people cared enough to vote in Maine, and only 39% of the liked Romney while 36% voted for Ron Paul.
  • 21 people have been killed or maimed by speeding police officers in Florida since 2004. Shamefully, there is little to no punishment for officers who routinely, and egregiously speed, even while off-duty.
  • Cars of the future are tiny, weird, self-driven by linking to a network. They also produce tiny red balls if you plan to murder someone.
  • A rhino died last week during a demonstration on how to save endangered rhinos from poaching. Yes Alanis, I know.
  • Whitney Houston died in the tub this weekend. Apparently she didn’t drown, but rather died from a combo of Xanyx, other prescription drugs and alcohol, then slipped under the water. Such a sad story. Whitney was beautiful, had the voice of a goddess, and made Kevin Costner look like a good actor. Unfortunately she was also a drug abuser who ruined her life, family and career. At least she left us with The Greatest Love of All, and one of the greatest interviews of all time…


 Crap you should Watch

  • Might be the best high school alley oops you’ll ever see. Actually, I hope it is because otherwise you are watching way too much high school basketball.

  • The Flip Side a pretty accurate rendition of what would happen if guys and girls switched places at the bar. 

  •  It might just be a commercial for Zippearz headphones, but I’m pretty sure her Boobs are up for Best Actress in a Supporting Role.


Monday Fun Day

Have a Horn-y Birthday, Smitty


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