Crap you should read Wednesday (9/28)

 

The Stupid Voter:

Why does our government suck? There are plenty of likely targets to blame: the President, Democrats, Republicans, the Tea Party, Corporate America, Unions, Private Interests…the list goes on. Surprisingly enough, no one blames themselves.  LZ Granderson (one of my favorite journalists) nails this topic in a recent column for  CNN: Stupid People Enable Broken Government.

When you know important debates are influenced by people who don’t like being bothered with facts, you question just how many of the country’s problems over the years have been caused by people who should not have been involved in the process in the first place….It’s one thing to have a population with a variety of political sensibilities; it’s another to be a country full of idiots. Too many times we vote and consequently govern like the latter. So if you’re the kind of person who likes to say “I don’t follow politics,” let me remind you that no one lives in a vacuum and that sentiment epitomizes what is wrong with our government.

This is one major flaw of democracy: we let uninformed people make important decisions because it’s their right. You know you do it that once every maybe 4 years that you vote and have no idea what 98% of the words on the ballot mean. You voted blindly along party lines, or voted YES for a local ordinance you never heard of, or voted for a Judge because his name sounded Jewish.

If someone came to you in the real world with a question on the matters, you’d shrug your shoulders and change the subject to Dancing with the Stars; but put a ballot in front of you and you’re suddenly James Madison! Riddle me this, do you like trusting these decisions to people who have no idea what they’re talking about? Do you ask your plumber if the mole on your back is cancerous? Would you go to your Dentist to check your engine oil? Would you trust the guy behind the counter at CVS with your stock portfolio? Absolutely not.

So why do we let people make this important decision when they have ZERO idea what they are talking about? Why is it so offensive to even suggest a basic knowledge threshold before a voter can vote? I’m not even suggesting a full understanding of all candidates and their viewpoints, but is it such an infringement upon liberty to expect people to know at least minor details about what they’re choosing? Why can’t we insist voters be able to name the 3 branches of government, or know how many Representatives and Senators are in Congress, understand how a bill becomes a law, or term limits for all involved, etc? These aren’t Jim Crow questions, but something that can be taught or reviewed on a simple piece of paper.

Electing your leaders isn’t a God-given right, it’s a society-granted responsibility. Freedom isn’t always free, sometimes it requires a little more.

Read: Stupid voters enable broken government — CNN

Read: Don’t let ignorant voters vote — CNN

She votes. Conversation over.

 

Pakistan is the Enemy

The title says it all, but what are we going to do about it? Last week that Adm. Mike Mullen testified before Congress that Pakistan was involved in the attacks on the US Embassy in Kabul as well as other strikes that killed or wounded more than 70 Americans and NATO soldiers. Mullen alleged that Pakistan’s Intelligence Agency (ISI) bankrolled and “outsourced” the attacks to the Haqqani network.

Of course Pakistan denies it all, but who should WE believe? Do we trust Mullen, our Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff,  and Secretary of Defense (Recent CIA director) Leon Panetta, or do we trust the notorious double-crossers?

When confronted with the opportunity to save face, and help take out the Haqqanis, Pakistan balked. They won’t help. Am I stupid, or wouldn’t this (and the fact that Bin Laden was chillin’ there in plain sight) be considered “harboring” terrorists, and a stated act of War against the US?

How do we proceed? The US and Pakistan’s shaky alliance was always based off one thing: their location. If we declare Pakistan an enemy, then we lose an important staging ground for our War on Terror. We’d lose a safe place to conduct our War in Afghanistan against the Taliban and Al Qaeda, and our eventual future wars against Iran and China. Oh yeah, they have the Atomic Bomb.

Even still, they attacked us. Numerous times. They take $2billion a year from us to help fight terrorism, then turn around and spend some of that money killing Americans. Its embarrassing, a public Facial and ass-spanking. Obviously the funding has to stop IMMEDIATELY.

But when we do, Pakistan will be pissed. They obviously support terror, and have no qualms about attacking us and our interests. Man, with friends like these….

We will eventually be at War with Pakistan.

Read: Pakistan is our Enemy — Slate

Read: You should probably start preparing for war with Pakistan — Gawker

The Bomb , huh?

 

That App is Gay

Do you need to know if you’re son is gay? If the skinny jeans, Lady Gaga posters and the TiVO that automatically records any show on Bravo, aren’t enough to convince you, then maybe you need the new Android App that will answer it for you. Is My Son Gay will help you bone up on whether your son likes to bone up. Need a primer?

Does he like to dress up nicely?…Does he like football?…Before he was born did you wish he would be a girl?…Has he ever gotten into or participated in a fight?…Does he like team sports?…Does he like diva singers?…Does he spend a long time in the bathroom?…Does he have a piercing?… Does he spend time getting ready before being seen in public?…Are you divorced?…Does he like musical comedies?…Has he introduced you to a girlfriend ever?…Was he shy as a child?…Is he close to his father?

I get some of the other stereotypical nonsense, but spending a lot of time in the bathroom? I HAVE A BAD STOMACH!!!!

But, in case you’re still wondering, your son is gay if: he wears brand name clothing; doesn’t play fantasy football; plays tennis; watches Glee; has piercings; and he’s been single throughout high-school. But you’re probably ok unless you wished for a daughter before he was born…that’s a biggie.

Read: “Is My Son Gay” App hits the Android market — Huffington Post

Show him this, watch reaction closely

 

Aurora Nights 

We’ve all seen the cool pictures of the greenish/purplish glow of the Aurora Borealis, but few probably realize what causes this phenomenon. The Aurora is caused by Solar wind, storms pushing ions from the Sun. When the particles hit atoms in our upper-atmosphere, it sparks the “emission of light at various wavelengths”. Usually the glow is green (because this is the wavelength emitted from solar ions and our oxygen atoms), but if the solar energy hits lower-energy atoms of oxygen and nitrogen, then it glows red.

That’s exactly what’s happening in the rare picture below taken from the International Space Station. I feel like this is all the astronauts in the ISS do, is take pictures. They’re like some celestial paparazzi, and the Earth is Lindsay Lohan.

Read: Red Sky at night, Astronaut’s delight — MSNBC Photo Blog

Did anybody bring their SPF 40,000?

 

Uniboober

Crappy plastic surgery left Dinora Rodriguez, 40, with one big boob. Her implants were inserted too close together and eventually pushed themselves towards the middle.

Dinora later found out her Dr was not board certified. Like many impulsive Americans, she jumped breast-first into the procedure without doing her due diligence in choosing a plastic surgeon. I think she learned her lesson.

Because I love you, I’ll save you the pain and make it easy on you: Dont put packets of shit inside your body.  Love who you are.

Tell you what, SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS, and I’ll make sure to tell you how beautiful they look. Deal?

I’m not kidding ladies, send in some pics. Our Horn-y readers need a little eye candy.

Botched plastic surgery a harsh reminder — MSNBC

"All I said was I wanted to go up 3 cup sizes!"

 

Lost without LOST 

Did you ever feel like the creators of LOST were making the stuff up as they went along? You were kinda right. LOST writer/producer Damon Lindenhoff opened up about his years creating life on the Island.

The best tidbits? Lindenhoff and JJ Abrams never thought the show would get picked up, so they just threw as much cool crap in there show as possible.

“‘There should be a hatch on this island! They spend the entire season trying to get it open. And there should be these other people on the island,'” Lindelof recalled Abrams saying. “And I’m like, ”We can call them The Others.’ And he’s like, ‘They should hear this noise out there in the jungle.’ And I’m like, ‘What’s the noise?’ And he’s like, ‘I don’t…know. They’re never going to pick this thing up anyway.'”

Lindenhoff admits that he and fellow writer Carton Cuse, didn’t have some grand LOST binder to consult as the show progressed. They basically made it up as they went. Also, the signature “flashbacks” weren’t in the original plan, but Lindenhoff knew viewers would get tired of only seeing the island, so he came up with a way to film in other locations without breaking the story line.

Lindenhoff also says that the show would never have gone 7 seasons without the internet. He says it was the direct connection with a devout fanbase that kept the Island’s light on. I agree, because I am one of those LOST geeks that was tied into intraweb looking for clues and possibilities as if it all had some greater meaning.

The interview below is a great read, though I wish Lindehoff could tell me why Hurley couldn’t lose any weight while stranded on a desert island. Even still, all this LOST talk solidifies on thing: “We have to go back, Kate. We have to go back!”

Read: LOST Writer gives detailed account of show — Reuters

"Is that...a Horn?"

 

My Love for Noel Wells is Toxic

Saw this video today and fell in love with the zany, talented, Noel Wells. Then I checked out some of her other videos, and this girl is hysterical. Her impressions of Kathy Griffin and Zooey Deschanel are spot on.

The video below starts innocently enough, but at about 0:45 goes a little off-the-rails.

 

Have a Horn-y Humpday

 

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One Comment

  1. “Freedom isn’t always free, sometimes it requires a little more.”
    Like calling people who work for CNN “journalists”?