Crap you should read Wednesday (5/4)

Civil War: Syria Edition

Syria is falling into Civil War, yet very few people actually know its taking place. Its been 6 weeks of protests, which obviously means 6 weeks of harsh government crackdown. Syria does not have a free press, nor do they allow ANY foreign press in Syria, so the world has no idea whats going on.

The Syrian people finally gained confidence to stand up to one of the most oppressive regimes in the world after the wave of People-Power revolution sweeping throughout the middle east. The problem is that the Syrian government has NO problem killing its own people in big ways. In 1982, there was the  Hama Massacre, where the Syrian government destroyed the entire town of Hama that was rising up. This could be happening again now, we’d just have no idea.

Syrian citizens are being slaughtered, rumors have more than 1,000 arrested in the last two days, and more than 500 killed over the last few weeks. It’s tough to get an exact count as Syrian officials pretend nothing is going on. Underground news in Syria, and neighboring Lebanon (which is run by Syria), manage to sneak some of the news out to the world. Harsh videos of the government slaughter are captured on cell phones, and posted to Youtube where the underground journalists try to get the rest of the planet to take notice of their plight.

The UN is allegedly leading an investigation, but there’s only one way for this to end up now…and its already taking place in Libya. Can, or will, NATO get involved here too? How can they not, isn’t it the same thing as in Libya– a government using their military and strength to put down protests and uprising by mass violence?

Or is there nothing in Syria that we actually want, so we have no reason to help them?

Harsh Videos show Syrian crackdown on protesters — Sky News

Syria Descending into Civil War — CNN

More reports of Civil War in Syria — CNN

Syrian President Bashar-Assad works hard to dispel rumors...that he's related to Urban Meyer

More Bin Laden Info

US officials have been clarifying some early reports about Bin Laden’s final moments, and the big one is that Osama was unarmed when he was shot. JSOC reports that he was “clearly resisting” so he was still shot though unarmed. It sounds a little sketchy, but this scumbag was dying no matter what. According to US officials there was no way to know if this madman was strapped to a bomb or had his finger on some kind of  trigger, so unless Bin Laden was naked, he was to be put down.

I actually like the idea that this guy wasn’t shooting back. I bet it felt great to put a couple bullets through this guy, even if he was on his knees praying, or getting dialysis. I prefer to think of the JSOC taking him down like Andy Garcia’s Vincent Corleone taking out Joey Zaza in Godfather 3; then he rides off on a horse.

Other info to clear up, the woman shot was not a human shield; she rushed a solider and was shot in leg. This lady was his wife, and she has said that they lived there for most of the time since 2006. Bin Laden had at least 2 wives there, and a few kids as well. Rumor has it Bin Laden tried to give himself up because he was sick of the nagging.

Clearer details on Bin Laden death — Washington Post

"Hey Osama (BANG! BANG!) Bin Laden"

FBI Most Wanted

Bin Laden was the most wanted man in the world, so obviously he was the FBI’s most wanted criminal following the numerous murders of US citizens. Bin Laden had a $25 million reward for info leading to his capture. Does that money go to the scumbag terrorist who leaked the info while being water-boarded, or does it go to the CTU agent who has the electrode tied to the guy’s nuts to get him to talk?

With UBL dead, who takes over as America’s most wanted fugitive? According to the FBI Most Wanted Terrorists list, the winner is Ayman Al-Zawahiria, the Al Qaeda leader. Feds are offering $25 million for information leading to his capture

Here at home the FBI Top Ten Most Wanted List says there are two douchebags with particularly high price tags on their head.

The first is Victor Manuel Gerena, wanted for armed robbery of $7 million from a security company in 1983. Information on Gerena could get someone $1 million if it leads to his capture. It’s been almost 30 years, so the only way they’re finding him is if he posts on Facebook, and I don’t think Zuckerberg needs the money.

The biggest dog on the FBI list now that UBL is dead is James “Whitey” Bulger, and you get $2 million for info leading to his capture. Bulger has been Wanted since the 80s for his involvement in running all of organized crime in Boston. He’s the guy that Jack Nicholson in The Departed was based on. Oddly the FBI page tells us he likes reading history and he and his wife love animals. They don’t have any mean factoids?

So if you have any info on these guys, you can stand to make a few million…who says its a tough economy?

No Linz, not the list you want to be on

Bond Sells Out

MGM has sold $42 million in Product Placement rights to the new James Bond movie. That is more than double the previous high for Minorty Report. Of course Bond has always been a salesman, as he is the coolest of cool, and his cars, watches and suits are always highly sought after his movies. BMW has had a presence in all Bond films since 1996, and who can forget the nausiating scene in Casino Royale when Bond raves about his Omega watch.

Companies paid about $3 billion in product placement last year. Keep your eyes peeled for Hanes Bond, starring Michael Jordan as a bad guy with a cool Hitler mustache.

Bond sells out for $42 million — The Australian

"Hold on a sec, M. My soul is on the other line, he's pissed that I sold him."