The Policies You Voted For To Make America Great Again


ugly trump face


Donald Trump will be our next president. Let that sink in.

Out of respect for the Office, I’ll pretend the last 70 years of Trump’s life as an unstable, misogynistic, xenophobic, pussy-grabbing, race-bating, bullying, compulsive lying, demagogue who routinely enriched himself at every turn by screwing over others (laborers, contractors, investors, customers) — was all just a phony facade to trick us all into electing him so he’d have a chance to make America great again.

How does a President Trump start all the great-making?

With the rubber stamp of an all-Republican Congress, look for an unchecked President Trump to push some, if not many, of the following campaign promises:

  • Building a HYUGE beautiful wall and threatening a trade war with Mexico when they refuse to pay for it.
  • “Repeal and Replace Obamacare” which means taking insurance away from the 22 million people who got insurance since Obamacare, including the poor who benefited from Medicaid expansion, and those finally able to get healthcare without bankruptcy. Trump could always push Congress for a legislative fix to avoid the unnecessary economic disaster and intentional harm to constituents, but F that! Sorry, not sorry.
  • Reversing Obama’s Executive orders that deal with climate change, protecting the environment, gender equality, LGBT protections, minimum wage increases, civil rights protections, and protection of American-born children of undocumented immigrants (DREAMers).
  • Mass deportation of 11 million undocumented Americans (who make up 6% of the workforce) and those pesky aforementioned DREAMer kids who want us to feel bad that their families are torn apart while parents wait for documentation that ain’t ever coming.
  • “Bringing Jobs Back” by eliminating minimum wage, tearing up international trade deals, and of course, slashing taxes for corporations and the wealthy. It’s easier to think of these measures as “whatever would make Trump stop outsourcing his labor to Asia and finally pay American workers.” Oh, also starting Trade Wars through strong tariffs with China and Mexico, because damaging relationships with our largest trade partners will mean we will stop shipping jobs overseas or something. Trust him, Trump will be “the greatest jobs president that God ever created.”
  • “Law and Order” – increasing police presence in “inner cities,” which means further militarization of Police and expanding stop & frisk (and arrest) of minorities. (As a bonus, this is also Trump’s plan to fix race relations in America. Yay!)
  • Loosening gun control laws because more guns means more safety.
  • Gutting Dodd-Frank and gutting financial and banking regulations that will allow the same negligent practices that led to the most-recent recession and skyrocketed income inequality. At least Trump will get a lot wealthier, bigly.
  • Banning immigrants or refugees from a religion/region we’re scared of, even if they’re escaping war torn countries for a safe place to raise their families – because they hate us, ok?
  • Increasing surveillance of Islamic practitioners, especially at places of prayer whenever we feel they’re “up to something.”
  • Make it easier to punish the Press, because too many nasty journalists say bad things about Trump – they’re ALL lies – and he should be able to stop that, ok? There are no Federal “libel laws” to loosen (as Trump often promises), but at the very least, expect the full weight of the Presidential Bully Pulpit to be brought down on all those who question King Donald.
  • Making us stronger and/or safer overseas by: tearing up the Iran Nuclear Deal, ending international alliances if the other countries “don’t pay their fair share,” isolating America with strong tariffs, taking oil from countries we invade to pay for the invasion — and don’t forget stepping-up torture for terrorists, terrorist-loving family members and mISISpace friends.
  • Tearing up Paris Accords, shuttering the Environmental Protection Agency, cutting off funding to UN climate change efforts, reversing environmental protection laws and Climate Change reform because it’s a Chinese hoax, people.

You bubbled in next to Trump’s name, these are the policies you support.

Most Trump supporters are prepared to defend their Dear Leader from the inevitable bigotry, xenophobia, misogyny, and scandal that comes with a President The Donald – but those will likely be short term embarrassments. It’s the policies that most people didn’t realize (or care) they were supporting that will last and take years from which to recover.

Some will pretend the campaign promises were all talk, but Trump’s talk never changed after the primaries. There was no Trump pivot, he instead doubled-down on the same crap he sold to the rabid partisan primaries without watering it down for the general moderate electorate.

These are your policies now, Trump voter. Be prepared to own them and defend them for the next four years and beyond.