Crap you should read Tuesday

Valentine's Darwinism Reminder

 

Oh Valentine’s Day, truly one of my favorite holidays…to get ass. V-Day is a great night to go out…women are all wearing their Martini goggles and desperation pheromones hang thick in the air. I’m not saying I’m a stud, I’m just saying I have a pulse, which makes me desirable on a night like such as this.

This will be awkward when I try to use my site to hook up later and she sees this, so to prove I’m a sweet guy, here’s something you can send your significant Horn-y other…

 


  • Washington, DC — Last week Congress passed a $63 billion bill that basically calls for up to 30,000 drones to be flying over America by the end of the decade. Can you imagine this for a second? That means eyes will be everywhere, with cameras strong enough to peer through your windows if need be. Or fitting with infared cams, etc so they can look through your damn walls. No more balcony porn sessions, I guess.

    Sometimes I feel like somebody's watching me. Oh, that's because they are.....

 

  • Amurika — According to a couple major polls, Rick Santorum is now polling evenly with Mitt Romney. This is horrible news for Republicans and a political wet dream for Democrats. As soon as the nation starts paying attention to Santorum’s crazy, overly-religious and bizarre political record, he’s a goner. All Ricky’s doing now is showing how the GOP nation DOESN’T want Mitt Romney to be their representative….again. Sure, last election Obama and Hillary were polling evenly at this time, but that was choosing between a brilliant woman and a brilliant black man; this is a choice between two guys who couldn’t win their last bids for office

    "Masturbation is the earliest form of abortion..."

    .

 

  • Persian Gulf — Iran is bulking up their Navy, and a lot of what they’re doing is for “secret” attacks against the US fleet patrolling the Persian Gulf and Strait of Hormuz. Besides the 10 submarines sneaking around, Iran also has “suicide boats“, or smaller boats fitting with warheads for kamikaze missions. The US says they’re keeping tabs on everything, but the US Cole is still fresh in some people’s minds.
  • Bangkok — Saeid Moradi is an idiot. After an explosion at a building he was in, he staggered outside while accomplices ran off. When a taxi wouldn’t take his bloody mess, he hurled a grenade at approaching police, but the it bounced off a tree and back at him. Moradi blew off his own damn legs. Grenade karma is a bitch.

"Yes! Now I can fly Southwest comfortably!"

 

  • Florida — For some reason, Asshole of the Year nominee Nevin Shapiro is still promising to take down the entire University of Miami football program. With almost 20 years still left behind bars, Shapiro says he still has the goods to prove 114 players took illegal benefits. Why be such a prick?  “I’m taking that program down to Chinatown and the former players and links to that program. Why? Because the U.S. government lined up 47 former players to testify against me in open court if I went to trial. That in itself is motivation to shove it up their collective asses.” Down to Chinatown…I hope that’s how far his cellmate makes him go down too.
  • Central America — A mystery disease has killed 24,000 people in El Salvador and Nicaragua since 2000. The bug causes chronic kidney failure, and once it kicks in, it’s usually fatal. Given that most of the victims are laborers, some attribute the sickness to agricultural pesticides while others think it has to do with horrible working conditions in the sweltering Central America heat. I used to respect the Central American work ethic, but they’re blaming their sickness on hard work? At least when we get a disease we blame a monkey or a fruit fly.
  • Mattel claims they’re finally releasing a Back to the Future 2  Hover board. It’s about frickin time. Unfortunately, its just a “high cost” replica that “glides over most surfaces…but not water”, with a tongue-in-cheek promise for hovering technology in 2015. That’s heavy, Doc. 

Be careful, I heard previous users caught Parkinson's diseease

 

Crap you should Watch

  • I  got this one sent to me yesterday, and it’s frickin’ fantastic. I know I don’t put mushy stuff up often, but if this next video of Emmanuel Kelly on X-Factor doesn’t move you, you’re a certifiable prick.

 

 

 

 

Tuesday Boobsday

Here are my V-Day’s gifts to you Hornballs.

Don’t forget, this is just a sampling; get more than 40 Boobsday pics at Tuesday Boobsday — The Ryno’s Horn

Enjoy…

Have a Horn-y Valentine's Boobsday

 

Still Horn-y? Then get more than 40 Boobsday pics at Tuesday Boobsday — The Ryno’s Horn

or check out ALL of Ryno’s Horn-y Girls

 

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