Crap you should read Tuesday



Obama Back-tracks on Super PACs

There was a time when Barack Obama promised to only use legit campaign donations, and refused “outside” money to run ads, etc. Back in 2008, Obama preached that Super PACs would destroy our country and give the wealthy people and corporations a significantly louder voice in elections than the average American. But after Citizens United legitimized the Super PAC and protected political donations as “free speech”, the White House has seen how the astronomical amount of money spent by Romney’s Super PACs has changed the game. Now they worry this same “outside”, unchecked influence will negatively effect the general election.

Romney and his wealthy backers aren’t going to stop this practice, so Obama’s team decided to start allowing Super PACs to work in their favor as well, both in fund-raising and advertising. That means Super PACs on both sides will run whatever ads they want, and preach whatever message they desire (no matter how negative, manipulative, or downright false it might be) in support of their guy….so long as their isn’t coordination with the actual campaign.

When things get too negative, both candidates will just use the “Not fair, he’s doing it too!!!!” justification. This is really shaping up to be the most disgusting, negative, misinformed election of all time.

Read: President Obama to open up to Super PACs — Huffington Post

Read: Obama’s Super PAC reversal a necessary risk? — The Atlantic

Noticeably grayer from his first sit-down with Matt Lauer, but Bro(bama), are you wearing the same shirt? across Minn/Co/Missou

Republicans have a big week coming up. The Minnesota and Colorado Caucuses are today, Missouri has a non-binding primary today (basically a “beauty contest”), and Maine’s caucus closes on Saturday. Gov. Romney is comfortably in the lead. Newt Gingrich, just a month ago the self-proclaimed front-runner, isn’t even in 2nd place. After a 3rd place finish in Nevada, Gingrich is polling behind Santorum in both Minnesota and Colorado, and just hoping to hold on until Super Tuesday (March 6th) where he might be able to steal a Southern state or two. Ron Paul is still making a respectable showing, but he’s only still welcome so long as his ardent supporters keep showing up to make it look like lots of Republicans care enough to vote.

Here’s some Crap to catch up on:

  • With Gingrich languishing behind, Mitt’s Campaign is now attacking Rick Santorum. The shift signals that Santorum’s campaign is gaining strength, likely from voters who applaud the fact that unlike Mitt and Newt, Rick is avoiding mud-slinging and actually discussing issues that matter.
  • Santorum might be in for a big surprise today in Missouri and Minnesota, both states that love them some evangelicals. Let’s not forget that Minnesota actually voted for Michele Bachmann to be their Representative, so that bodes well for anyone who hates gays and abortions as much as Ricky S does.
  • With no debates until Feb 22, Gingrich needs a big speech in order to ensure his lies and manipulation message reaches the public. That speech will likely be Friday, in front of 10,000 at the Conservative PAC conference in DC. I’m guessing this is where he’ll tell voters that Mitt’s a moderate in robot’s clothing, and Newt’s the only real candidate with conservative values. You know, those strong values that make you marry the woman you cheat on your sick wife with…over and over.
  • Michigan Republican Pete Hoekstra knew he’d get some serious attention by running a campaign ad during the Super Bowl, but maybe the former Congressman running for Senate shouldn’t have opted for one of the most blatantly racist ads I have ever seen.  The ad features an Asian actress speaking in a fake broken-English accent, “thanking” his opponent for her policies that help China grow and hurt Americans. The ad is racist, misleading and manipulative and basically demonstrative of everything wrong with Politics. It’s a shame the Asian chick is so hot.


Laws and Crap
  • If Government gives you Food Stamps, can they control what you eat? A Florida Congresswoman is currently pushing a bill that would restrict the diets of welfare recipients, particularly making it illegal to buy sweets and snacks with food stamps. I bet next they’re gonna tell us who we can or can’t marry. 
  • The Vikings submitted their 5th proposal for their planned $1billion stadium, asking the state for $300 million and Minneapolis for $340 million. This time the proposal doesn’t include ANY money from the Vikings themselves (previous plans did), which pisses off many who are sick of privately-owned teams rape the cities for their new stadiums, without any tangible benefits to the citizens other than crappy football. 
  • Are Sea World’s Killer Whales actually slaves? A US District Court in San Diego is currently hearing a case brought by PETA claiming saying that the conditions of Orcas in captivity is equivalent to slavery, and they should be freed. This will probably be tossed as Killer Whales generally don’t have “standing” to bring cases to Court. Not to mention, the case is brought under the 13th Amendment grounds, and I’m guessing Blacks and Women might be a little offended to be compared to Killer Whales (or vice versa?).

Who's slaving for who again?


Worldly Crap
  • 300 WTC cops have been diagnosed with Cancer since 9/11. The average “victim” is 44 yrs old, and 56 have died of cancer so far. Pre-9/11, only 6 cops a year filed for cancer-related disability, but post-9/11 it’s climbed to 16 per year. Considering over 12,000 cops and emergency personnel rushed to the scene that day, many are worried about a significantly larger epidemic in the years to come. It’s such a shame that our government is arguing against the obvious correlation between the cancers and the toxic WTC site, and disgusting that we haven’t gone above and beyond to ensure care to those who rushed to our nation’s rescue.

  • Simpsons dolls banned from Iran as promoters of Western culture. Iran feels that anything promoting Western Culture is a no-no, especially dolls that show “genitilia” like Marge’s  boobs. Interestingly, Superman and Spider-Man toys are ok because they save the “oppressed” and do good, completely unlike the Jews.
  • Some researchers now say that Spanking leads to aggression in kids. It has something to do with mirroring negative reinforcement, but I was spanked as a child, and I’m not that aggressive…unless you’re GoDaddy and you tell me it’s not your fault my site is slow.
  • We always hear about the bad side to oil and nuclear power, but Alternate energy plants bring their own possible environmental effects. I’m guessing this study was proffered by Pro-Oil industry saying “see, they hurt you too”, but that’s like comparing a slap to a stabbing. Even still, its an important article to read to see that EVERYTHING we do, even the “good” stuff, affects the world we live in.
  • Over the last 3 weeks, almost 130 dolphins have beached themselves at Cape Cod, with 92 dying so far. Cape Cod often leads the US in mysterious Dolphin beachings, but nothing quite to this effect. All I know is that I watch Dolphins get killed at least one Sunday a year in New England.

"Hey man, tonight at the Cape..."Everyone Gets Laid". Bring your friends."


Some Crap to Watch

  • Although a complete sell-out, the Honda CR-V Super Bowl commercial with Matthew Broderick paying homage to Ferris Bueller, was actually pretty well done. Here’s a good recap of all the Ferris Bueller “Easter Eggs” found in the ad. Then check out this side-by-side comparison of the commercial and the movie scenes it pays homage to. It is so choice.
  • Good Parenting 101: Don’t just tell your kids not to throw firecrackers down a manhole, show them! That way, the manhole cover to your face isn’t idiocy, it’s just a good example.
  • Jimmy Kimmel set up another great viewer viewer prank, having fans pull the plug on the TV during a crucial moment of the Super Bowl. Funny stuff. If I even gave a single crap about that shwag game, I would have absolutely killed someone.

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