Crap you should read Tuesday



You know you’re getting old when you throw your back out sneezing. That’s how I spent all Sunday night and Monday. Hope you got along without me.

Given that I’m a little hopped up on painkillers and coming down off a day of Justified (Season 1), I’ll keep it short and sweet.


Politics Crap You Should Know

Tampa, Florida —  A week ago Mitt Romney was a shoe-in to get the Republican nod after two straight wins in Iowa and New Hampshire and leading by double digits in South Carolina. Then Iowa actually counted their votes and gave the win to Rick Santorum. After that, unethical former Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich succeeded in painting himself as the ethical Washington outsider, won South Carolina. Now everyone has turned their attention to Florida, home to the next primary on January 31st.

Monday night the four remaining hopefuls (yes, Ron Paul is still playing) got together for a little debate in Tampa. It was mostly just snipping at each other, and lying about past positions, but the amazing thing about televised debates is to watch who rises above, and who APPEARS the most presidential when standing next to his counterparts. One thing you can say for sure after watching the 9084th Debate is that not a single person up on the GOP stage has what it takes to stand on stage with Barack Obama in the coming year and APPEAR more presidential.

This fact will be blatantly evident during tonight’s State of the Union address.

Here are come articles to read to catch up on the state of our political union.

  • Newt Released some docs from his time working for Freddie Mac, but not-surprisingly, years of documents are missing. So he proves that he didn’t lobby for them by NOT providing documents that would prove he lobbied for them. What a shade-ball. Read:  Gingrich releases Freddie Mac Contract from 2006 — Bloomberg
  • Mitt finally released some tax forms, which showed he made anywhere from $20-30 million a year. They also showed Romney pays lower tax rates because his earnings are not listed as income, but rather as Capital Gains. This is how rich people screw the system. Humorously, under Newt Gingrich’s plan, Capital Gains wouldn’t be taxed at all, which means Mitt would pay NO taxes. Read: Mitt Romney’s tax returns show he’s a 14 percenter — NYDailyNews

"I know you are, but what am I?!?!"


SOPA Postponed

Washington DC— Last week a phenomenon took place in American politics…Congress listened to the People. You Hornballs have been kept up to date on the SOPA debate, but Congress truly had no idea what the hell the “Anti-piracy” legislation really was, how it would hand over policing of the internet to big business, and how it could destroy the internet as we know it.

Fortunately the People stood up to educate our Congressmen and they listened (for the time being). Now SOPA (and PIPA in the Senate) have been shelved thanks to the public outcry led by blackouts of popular websites, and because of annoying bloggers like the Ryno that kept preaching until people realized how important it was to speak up.

For better or worse, we might truly be witnessing the People’s first true involvement in government. The masses aren’t always correct, but it is nice to see People finally realizing the power that we hold. Hopefully soon our mantra of “government of the people, for the people and by the people” will actually mean something once again.

Read: Congress puts PIPA and SOPA on hold, Hollywood will still fight —


MegaUpload Guy is Bond Villain

Auckland, New Zealand — Speaking of anti-piracy, last week the Feds shut down MegaUpload, an illegal file-sharing site they claim took in over $175 million in subscriptions fees and deprived copyright holders of over $500 million.

The best part of the whole story is that the guy behind MegaUpload, Kim Dotcom (born Kim Schmitz), seems like a real-life Bond villain. The guy flaunted his illegal money in ridiculous ways, including his multi-million dollar Bond-villain lair, dozens of luxury cars, and even once spent $500k on a NYE fireworks display for New Zealand to celebrate his family’s new residency.

When police arrived at the Dotcom mansion, Kim led them on a chase through his house, locking a series of electronic doors along the way. Agents broke through all the locks, and finally found him holed up in a saferoom with a shotgun. Besides finding millions in cash, Agents also seized over 20 cars (a Rolls Royce Phantom and ’59 Pink Cadillac among them) with license plates that read KIMCOM, HACKER, STONED, GUILTY, MAFIA, GOD and POLICE.

Maybe he should have had a plate that read: HUBRIS.

Read: MegaUpload founder Rim Dotcom sprang electronic locks in Bon Lair when Police Swooped In —

Read: Founder of shuttered file-sharing site sough limelight —


Bankrupt Solyndra

Fremont — Solyndra just keeps on embarrassing the White House. Last week, the solar panel company chosen as an example of a new generation of green technology but went bankrupt shortly after taking $500 million in taxpayer money, was caught on video destroying millions of dollars worth of brand-new parts. Many assumed the bankrupt company would do anything to make right on the taxpayer’s half-billion dollar investment, but the shoddily run company decided it was better to outright destroy over $2million in state-of-the-art glass tubing rather than try to sell it and recover some money.

Although they’re already bankrupt and trying to sell the company themselves, Solyndra didn’t list the $2million in tubes as assets, nor did they do much to find a buyer for the tubes. Shoot, they didn’t even notify the German manufacturer of the tubes that they still owe $8million, to see if they could work something out. So rather than trying to recoup money and pay back any of the hundreds of millions owed to creditors, Solyndra just dumped the thousands of glass tubes into the dumpster.

Just another example of poor use of taxpayer money. I’m not at all hating on the government supporting new technologies, but the lack of oversight into a company given a half-billion dollars is frightening.

Read: Bankrupt Solyndra caught destroying brand new parts —


NYPD Gun X-Ray

New York City — Once solely the fantasy of Sci-fi movies like Total Recall, the NYPD is currently testing a long-range scanning device that can detect concealed weapons on suspects. The Terahertz Imaging Detection system reads radiation from the body at a distance, and can see if something metallic is blocking the signal.

This might sound great to put a stop to random “stop and frisks”, but it will surely bring an increase to intentional, non-random stop-and-frisks. Think about it…so long as cops can say they saw something blocking the radiation signal — a pen, a phone, a GameBoy…anything — they can search you as much as they want.

Just another piece of technology that promises to eliminate invasions of privacy by actually being more invasive and taking away our privacy.

Read: NYPD testing long-distance gun detection device — Huffington Post

Is that a gun, or did he just eat a lot of Taco Bell?


Oscar Nominees

The Academy just released its Oscar Nominees. Like every year, there are a few snubs and surprises, but to me, the biggest snub goes to Harry Potter. Deathly Hallows 2 was a good enough movie on its own, but I’m just plain surprised it wasn’t nominated out of respect for the most successful (and critically loved) movie franchise of all time.

On the plus side, Gary Oldman was FINALLY nominated for Best Actor for Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. Somehow Oldman, arguably the best thespian of our generation, NEVER even received an Academy Award nomination until now.

In yet another nomination I was strongly rooting for, Nick Nolte got a nod for Best Supporting Actor for Warrior. From the moment Nolte shows up on screen playing a recovering drunk, you know your in for something special. Warrior was my favorite movie of the last year, (read The Horn’s Synema Synopsis: The Heart of “Warrior”) yet it was largely ignored by audiences. Hopefully this nomination (and a win) will bring it the attention it certainly deserves.

Check out the other nominations and snubs below.

Read: Complete List of Oscar Nominations 2012

Read: Oscar Snubs and Surprises — Huffington Post

You can't "play" drunk like can only show up to the set wasted and hope to hit your mark


Baddass of the Month

…goes to this Russian Granny who gets clobbered by a car and then shakes it off like a champ.


Tuesday Boobsday

As always, thanks to you Hornballs for your submissions. Keep ’em coming. Thanks to The Chive for a great deal of these Horn-y pictures. If you need more material…

***Obviously due to page-size issues, I can’t have as many pics here, so if you want TWICE AS MANY Tuesday Boobsday PICS then do yourself a favor and Click HERE

Click HERE if you want TWICE AS MANY Tuesday Boobsday PICS


Have a Horn-y Boobsday

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  1. I love the bond villain!! I’m always mindful of how stupid people can really be, but homeslice takes the cake AND the enchilada!!

    I’m also glad that gov’t listened and shelves sopa/pipa! It’s good to be reminded that our voice counts; even if it’s not all too frequent.

  2. The backers of this bill are hoping that since SOPA is even worse than PIPA, there will be less protest and some may see it as a compromise.