Crap you should read this Weekend


Gingrich Goes Off 

South Carolina— Newt Gingrich used the 9,084th Republican Presidential debate to launch into a self-serving tirade about the ethics of the media. The former Speaker has been vocal with his anger at the influence Mitt’s Super PAC money has had on the media, but things got worse after ABC aired an interview with his bitter 2nd wife Marianne. Newt feels it was irresponsible for ABC to run the interview and negatively influence the super-conservative SC voters, and he also had his few choice words for moderator John King who opened the debate with a Marianne question.

For the record, Marianne says Newt doesn’t have the moral character to be President. Marianne, if you recall, was Newt’s mistress while he was married to his first wife Jackie. Marianne says Newt tried to save their marriage (while she was sick with MS) by opening it up to other chicks. When she refused, he left her for his 3rd wife, who he told Marianne would let him dangle his dick wherever he pleased. (Newt denies, but I’m going with the “truth is somewhere in the middle” doctrine).

Newt is concerned that Marianne’s story will negatively influence super conservative South Carolina, but its hard to take him seriously considering he’s married to his mistress that he cheated on his sick wife who used to be his mistress with his first wife who he cheated on while she was sick. The “Family Values” and “Sanctity of Marriage” routine is about as credible as Dick Cheney giving hunting-safety lessons.

Newt unintentionally killed his whole Higher than Thou defense when he decried that the media’s attention to the matter so close to the primary voting “is as close to despicable as anything I can imagine.” I guess Newt can’t imagine the actual cheating on his sick wife…for the 2nd marriage in a row.

Gingrich also gave the Debate audience the standard Liberal, elite media Attacking Republicans instead of Obama bull crap. Newt, you’re running for President, dumbass! The attention is on YOU because you made it about you. Plus the “elite” media are all wealthy Republicans. Shut it already, Stay Puff. Either way, I do agree his marriage(s) should NEVER have been brought up at a Presidential debate, so it was great to see Gingrich make moderator John King sulk like a puppy who peed in the corner. Now lets see if voters buy into the BS or see it as another blatant example of the Newt calling the kettle “Newt”.


Hop aboard the Cain Train!

South Carolina — Stephen Colbert is holding a rally Friday afternoon with Herman Cain at the College of Charleston, in an effort to geek up supporters one day before the South Carolina Republican Primary. Colbert is running for President of the United States of South Carolina, but the Comedy Central host was unable to get on the SC ballot (had to file by Nov. 1). So does this mean the man currently polling over 13% has to give up hope?

If only there was a way for SC voters to show support for their hometown boy…that’s where Herman Cain comes in. Cain dropped out of the race last month, but his name is still on the SC ballot. Therefore Colbert is telling voters that a vote for Herman Cain is a vote for Steven Colbert.

Its a hysterical, brilliant move that will only bring more attention to what Colbert is really doing: exposing the absurdity of Super PACs. Watch the definitely not coordinating with Stephen Colbert Super PAC ads below, pleading for your vote…for Herman Cain.

Read: The Definitely NOT Coordinating with Stephen Colbert Super PAC


Feds and Anonymous Shut Each Other Down

The Feds felt pretty good yesterday after taking down a huge file-sharing site, Megauploads in what they’re calling the biggest anti-piracy bust ever. The Feds say Megauploads and their 50 million daily visitors cheated copyright holders from over $500 million in illegal downloads/uploads. 7 MegaUploads directors were already  indicted last month, but the site-shutdown is what caught the country’s attention.

Naturally with all the SOPA awareness crap going on this week, everyone is a little sketched out by the government shutdown of a file-sharing website. The displeased included members of the anti-security hacktivist collective, Anonymous, who retaliated against the Megaupload shutdown by shutting down the websites of the Dept of Justice, the RIAA (Recording Industry Assoc of America), and Universal Music. So take that you legitimate companies/organizations trying to do your job by keeping illegally pirated material off the web!

I 100% agree that SOPA is ridiculously dangerous, but MegaUploads should NOT be protected. It’s a site whose sole purpose is to act as a gathering place for users to share illegal downloaded movies/songs/etc so that they don’t have to pay for them. That is not the same thing as shutting down a blog for embedding a video with copyrighted song playing in the background. That is not Fair Use, its blatant infringement and keeps the studios from earning money on their “Art”.

Sorry Anonymous, stealing a bottle of alcohol from the liquor store is not the same as taking a sip from someone’s drink.

Read: Anonymous claims retaliation attacks for Megauploads bust —

Read: US government megaupload piracy indictment —

Be careful. If you say anything bad, they'll wash your mouth out with SOPA


BCS: Put me down as Plus One

College Football fan’s dream might soon come true (no Nick Saban didn’t get arrested for child porn) as NCAA officials are leaning towards finally creating a Playoff. The recent conference realignments, as well as the repeated exclusion of at least one worthy team from the National Championship game (sorry Oklahoma St), have shifted the NCAA sentiment towards changing their long-held money-above-all stance on Bowl Games. Now school Presidents and officials from the 11 Div I conferences will spend the next 6 months debating over 50 differnt possibilities on the table.

Most insiders assume the new system will be a Plus-One model. That means that two of the bowl games will feature the top 4 teams, and the winner of that game would play an extra game to determine the National Champion. The main issues will be what to do with the 34 other bowl games, as well as how to divvy up the money “fairly” to the conferences. Interestingly, it seems likely that the Bowls will no longer be under contractual guarantees to pick teams from specific conferences, so hopefully this will really give us a real Championship instead of one that advertisers would prefer to see.

An answer is expected by July, so prepare to find something to be disappointed about come the Fall.

2009: Only Gator fan in a sea of Sooner fans...Priceless. Literaly Priceless, The Ryno snuck into the game and sat in the front row. Go Gators!


Oh, Irony. You win again

Boiling Springs, NC — Tuesday was Ariane Noelle Patterson’s 21st birthday, and the humble college student tweeted:

“Thank you God for another year of life”.

Later that day in Religion class, Ariane collapsed and died. The cause of her death is still unknown, but I think it has something to do with “raiiiiiiin, on your wedding day….”

Read: Student dies in class on 21st birthday —

"Oh, I meant to hit 'Enter' not 'Delete'. My bad"


School Mascot Offensive to Women

Utah — The students at the new Corner Canyon High School won’t be screaming “Go Cougars” any time soon. The Draper School Board felt the student’s democratically chosen mascot was too offensive to women. Sure they also said that 3 other County schools already used a “Cougar” mascot, but the very mention of the “derogatory” nature of the word deserves a WTF?

A cougar is a cat, not a woman. Just because whorish women wanted to adopt that term for their own, why does the mountain cat have to suffer? Next thing you’ll tell me the Franklin High Fighting Faggots will be forced to vote on something other than a burning bundle of branches.

Corner Canyon will now be the “Chargers”. Some Utes are hating on it, but my high-school mascot was the Chargers, so go screw yourself, and your Cougar moms.


Kids are Assholes, Nigga

Chicago — This video is a tough one to watch. Six white bullies mug an Asian 16 year old, and give him one of the worst undeserved ass-whoopings you’ve ever seen. These pieces of crap punch and kick the poor kid what seems like 100 times – many of them directly to the face – while berating him and robbing him. Power to the victim though, even after the monumental ass-whooping, was still able to escape and (I hope) outrun his neanderthal attackers.

The only reason I’m even posting it is in hopes that these assholes get caught. Plus you have to hear these morons, they repeatedly use the word  “nigga” like they’re stuttering ghetto smurfs. In case you’re wondering, if these kids somehow live to be free adults, they’ll probably be soldiers or policeman.


Other  Crap you should watch this Weekend

  • Barry doin’ Al Green: President Obama breaks into song during speech. Awesome. (VIDEO)
  • McCain forgets Romney’s Name: To his face, in front of supporters, then covers it up with weird grunts. Even worse, he calls him President Obama. True story. (VIDEO) 
  • Professional Nose Picker: A nice man receives some doctoral nose-picking assistance. If you wait for it…well all I can say, “Get your ass to Mars!” (VIDEO) 
  • Woman can’t Parallel Park: It’s a tiny SmartCar in a HUGE parking spot. You never see the driver, but you know it’s a woman because it took 5 minutes. (VIDEO) 
  • IMDABESI almost turned this low-budget song off immediately, but much like the first time I watched a televised breast reduction, I couldn’t look away. (VIDEO)
  • Dope ZebraThe Dope Zebra Dance is awesome. Giggles ensue. But is he alive? Nope! (VIDEO)
  • Sushi RoundView from a conveyor belt at a sushi restaurant kinda feels like socially acceptable voyeur porn. You’ll watch, after all, what else are you doing today, working? Ha. (VIDEO)

SOPA explained...kinda


Facebook Bikini Friday

Don’t thank me, thank Zuckerberg for giving these chicks a reason to take a million bikini pics.

It’s about that time I wish you a Horn-y Weekend, but in case you need more material…


****Too many hot pics for today’s Crap, so If you want/need more,  then click HERE


Have a Horn-y Friday


Speak up! Comment Below or email If you want this Crap on the regular, then follow The Ryno on Facebook and Twitter.


  1. I have to say I love Colbert and how he is blatantly showing people the insanity that is out legal system. My sad question is, how many people actually know what he’s doing? I believe his audience is wiser than the average man, but do they really get the “big picture”?

    As much as I hate the overcharging of digital media, mostly music I agree that if you’re illegally sharing data in such a public forum you should be shut down. For sheer stupidity. Natural Selection applies, and you’ve failed. Do not reproduce, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. -on a similar note, does anyone STILL buy physical media nowadays?!?

    Lastly, I love the pic of that sharp, yet insane looking Gator in the sea of Sooners! Way to represent!!!

    • J-Lo…While most of Colbert’s audience “gets it”, too many do not. But that goes for his shtick in general. Too many people just think he’s some obnoxious right-wing egotistical fascist, they don’t realize he’s lampooning O’Reilley/Beck while mocking the absurdity of politics and the media. such brilliance, lets just hope people keep paying attention, because Super PACs are ruining politics.

      As for the illegal downloads, I laugh every time I hear someone say that the “Free nature” of the internet entitles them to unending Free shit. There is a BIG difference between Fair Use and Entitlement to steal/infringe. Just because its easy to infringe doesn’t make it morally ok or legal.

      “Hey, I didn’t steal those DVDs from the store, this guy I know did, and then put it in a pile on the table and i took some of it. Why should that be illegal?”

      If its something you normally have to pay for, and you’re getting it for FREE on the intraweb, then its illegal. End of story. Though I am completely on-board with the “if you dont get caught….” argument.

      And that Gator fan is a strapping lad…..