Crap you should read Tuesday



I know posts have been sporadic over the last week, but I’m pulling the “Pardon Our Dust” card. GoDaddy can’t handle the Horn, so the load time has been less than stellar. We’re in the process of switching servers, so by next week this lovely News Site will be back to speedily spewing out the Crap. Doesn’t that just sound lovely? Let’s get Horn-y…


New Hampshite Primary

Voters in New Hampshire are taking it to the polls Tuesday to let Republicans know whose campaign to bribe donate to this week. Given that Gov. Romney ruled Massachusetts, the capital of New England, voters are finally going to give Mitt the positive press he’s longed for since he started this run back in 2006. What’s funny is that I’m writing this Monday night, but I already know the results on Tuesday. I’m not completely clairvoyant, its just with the 24-hour news cycle and 50 different polls, today’s primaries are as predictable as the last season of 24.

So besides Mitt pretending a NH win gives him some type of national consensus, where will the other chips fall? New Hampshire is one of the truly libertarian states in the Union  – It’s Canada of the US – so Ron Paul will certainly make another strong showing. Gov. Rick Perry and Sen. Rick Santorum will not fare well in the not-so-religious State, while Newt will blame his at-best 4th place finish on negative ads rather than his negative record.

The only real “story” that could come out of NH will be the legitimacy of Gov. Huntsman’s campaign. New Hampshire is one of the few states which doesn’t require you to be a Republican to vote for their primary, so the moderate Huntsman has been there for months courting all voters, not just Republicans. A bi-partisan win can prove electability and jump-start a lagging campaign, which is the only reason this State becomes important every four years. Huntsman has poured all his money into the NH basket, so anything lower than a convincing 3rd place finish will likely send the Governor back to Big Love-ing in Utah.

At least Huntsman gave us the best call-out of the week after he lambasted Romney for his ridiculous assertion that Hunstman shouldnt have served as Ambassador to China because Obama (a Democrat) was President. Party before Country is certainly the phony Mitt’s motto, and as Hunstman pointed out,  “This nation is divided…because of attitudes like that.”

I could show you lame GOP footage, but instead I’ll introduce you to Vermin Supreme, the Friendly Fascist running on a strong platform of government mandated tooth brushing. Vermin might be a joke, but he proves that ANYONE can reach the masses now.  And if candidates can reach the People easier now than ever before, that means less reliance on political parties and fewer people to be beholden to while governing. A Ryno can dream, can’t he?


I hate Alabama

Another year down, another year to prove the BCS sucks. The University of Alabama destroyed LSU in the BCS National Championship last night, 21-0. Many (including the Ryno) said that Alabama didn’t desrve to be there, but turns out LSU was the real BCS embarrassment.

LSU’s embarrassment notwithstanding, Alabama (no matter how good they were) DID NOT deserve to play in the national championship. They are the first team since 1936 (Minnesota) to win the big game even though they couldn’t even win their own conference (they lost to LSU earlier in the year). It’s nice that the BCS tries to have the 2 best teams in the country play each other, but the “best” teams still need to win their way into the championship game. What a sham.

And since I can’t stand all the positive Nick Saban press, here’s a reminder why he still eats ass.


Photographing Pigs

Austin, Texas — Antonio Buehler, 34, was arrested because he tried to help a woman harassed at a gas station on New Years Eve. Unfortunately for Buehler, the harassers were two Austin Police officers, and they were less than pleased when they saw the man bust out his cell phone to take pictures of their fun time during a DUI stop.

“We hear a loud scream, and we look over, and we see the cop violently yanking the female out of the car onto the ground,” said Buehler. “She is screaming. The other cop ran up, and they both sort of grabbed her arms. Her hands were behind her back straight out, and they lifted her up by her arms. It just looked extremely painful.”

So Buelher busted out his phone and took pics. The cops “attacked” Buehler and arrested him for interfering with their legitimate police work. They claim Buehler got in their faces, and even spit on one of the officers. Fortunately, Buehler was able to track down other witnesses from the scene (on Craigslist), one of which happened to have their own video footage of the night in question.

And wouldn’t you know it, the new video seems to show that the cops were lying their asses off; Buehler never came close to intefering and he certainly doesn’t appear to spit on anyone. Now if the cops arrested him for interfering, does that mean they’ll be arrested and charged for lying in the their investigation? Probably not, and they’ll be back on the street abusing citizens in no time.

On a side note, why is taking pictures of police officers EVER illegal? Our entire way of life depends on a system of respected checks and balances, and law enforcement too often goes unchecked. Police abuse and lies are so rampant across the Good Ol’ Boy network throughout most of the country, civilian-filming should be encouraged. Why should cops be afraid to have their job performance recorded? Any cop that ever attacks or arrests a civilian for taking pictures should be tossed out of their one-bunk Hiltons and cast down with the sodomites.

READ: Two APD officers accused of abuse during New Years Arrest —


Bitch Ass

Tennessee  –  More than 100 Hickman County classmates were suspended from school because of a montage where they each put their own spin on the phrase “Bitch Ass”. 

Let me get this straight…the institution charged with educating our kids on our freedoms suspended students for exercising harmless Free Speech. By all accounts the montage is playful and not directed at bullying any one person, so why the over-reaction? Let’s also not forget that these benign “curse” words are found in at least one book on almost every single English classroom’s reading list.

This phrase is just apparently just too offensive to women, Asians, Canadians, FSU Seminoles, and Republicans, so it has to be stopped. I’m posting this Crap just to spite Bitch-Ass hypocrites….and because it reminds me a lot of SCUNT.

Watch: Bitch Ass, Hickman County — Youtube



This next video is horrifying. Bottom line, its an undercover PETA video from an investigation that proves Ringling Bros trainers nonchalantly beat the shit out of their animal stars.

Unfortunately too many people treat animals like shit just because they don’t speak English. What’s even worse is that if any of the elephants retaliated and freaked out after the millionth baton-hit to the face, he’d be shot multiple times.

People, stop going to the damn circus and check Cirque du Soleil where the abuse is limited to acrobats. Or if you absolutely have to watch slave creatures abused by their owners for profit, just go to an NBA game…just stop paying these people to abuse these poor animals.

Read: PETA 2009 investigation video —


Awesome Short Films

The 3 short films below are remarkable because each is filmed in one continuous shot with no post production. They’re done with a camera, a projector, a PlayStation Move and a whole lot of awesome.


Not So Awesome Short Films

See if you can spot the theme of these next two reality films.

This one gets good around :35 when this kid starts jamming like crazy; it gets REALLY interesting at 1:05



Tuesday Boobsday

Hornballs, your voices were heard loud and clear. I know we already have a day dedicated to Humps, but you let me know you need one dedicated to the mesmerizingly manipulative power of the mammaries.

And yes, a couple of these were submitted by you Horn-y readers, so keep ’em cumming and we’ll do the same.

Have a Horn-y Tuesday

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One Comment

  1. love the Shawshank reference in the Austin cops story