Jermito’s Strange World

Jermito's Freaky Girl of the Week


Tits for Tots

Houston — I really love how generous people get around the holidays. Some pay off people’s layaway accounts at Kmart, then you have the Bikers and Exotic Car Owners sponsoring toy drives to help those less fortunate. It seems my favorite group of “giving” people, Escorts, are going above and beyond the call of duty to help out this holiday season.

Santa’s Favorite Little Helper Shelby had the best “Toys for Tots Special” marketing ploy ever: Pay for 1 hour, bring an unwrapped toy or gift (for a child) and get the second hour free. She promised to “Captivate my mind and tantalize my senses” and to lead me on a “pathway to utter euphoria and bliss”. So just as I was about to book my flight to Houston for some “gift” giving, those darn people in the media and law enforcement seem to have scared her off.

Shelby’s website is now down and her phone is disconnected… so all I can do is hope she sees this article and gets in touch…..

Full Story: Escort offers “Toys for Tots” Discount – Digital Journal 

Thank you SantaÂ

 

Peeping Roomie

Naples, Fl — Girls…Never trust your roommate!! Especially when they’re more than 20 years older than you, a bit shady-looking and a Man. Actually I am pretty sure this is the unspoken rule for girls looking for a roomie: no dudes.

Well David Bennett in East Naples probably thought he hit the lottery by having a sexy co-ed as a roommate. He ran a lucky stretch until someone found his special folder on a network computer full of creepy hidden videos of his roommate. Some had her naked in the bathroom, others were of her and her boyfriend having sex. Cops found cameras hidden in holes in the walls. Now our Peeping Dave faces 35 counts of voyeurism and a $105k bond.

Someone isn’t getting their security deposit back.

Full Story: East Naples man faces voyeurism charge — NaplesNews.com 

I see you...

 

Bathroom Stall Love Triangle

Orlando — Millionaires get their freak on just like the rest of us. Just ask Mary and Chris Gorman, some of the richest people in Scotland. On their recent vacation in Orlando the Gormans visited the Roxy nightclub, where they met a nice guy. Instead of taking their stud to their room, or even out to the car for a quick shag, they opted for a stall in the men’s bathroom. Some employees complained to the off-duty cops working security, who opened the stall door to find wifey Gorman taking care of their boy-toy as the husband watched. (How did they all fit in that stall??)

The truth is they probably could have “gotten off” (pun intended) with just a warning,  but the wife made the Great Trifecta of stupid mistakes: She refused to leave the bathroom, got argumentative with the cops and then pushed the cop in the chest. Her winning bet paid off with a “special ride” in a cop car for her, and her interfering hubby got his wish and joined her in the backseat. Doubt the gram of coke she had on her helped matters.

So how was your Orlando vacation??

Full Story: Scottish millionaires busted during sex act in club — Orlando Sentinel

Before and After Shots of the Bathroom Stall Love Triangle Millionaires

 

Thin Mint Smackdown

Tampa — Never mess with another woman’s Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookie. Ever!!

That’s exactly the lesson Hersha Howard’s roommate learned the hard way. It seems the roomie ate some Thin Mints without permission, and  HH was less than pleased. At 1am, Hersha went into the roommate’s room to argue, then jumped her, hit her in the face, bit her breast and chased her around the house with a pair of scissors. The moral of the story is: Never touch another woman’s cookies. (I think I heard that on Oprah once)

Full Story: Woman attacks roommate for eating her Girl Scout cookies — WTSP Tampa Bay

Hersha Howard, harbinger of happiness

 

Real World Toothbrush Rape

There are few things in this world that really piss me off, and taking advantage of / raping a passed out girl is at the top of that list. Maybe it’s because I have two sisters and if any dipshit ever did that to one of them there is no place on this Earth he could run and hide to avoid my wrath. Kenneth Santucci and Evan Starkman from MTV’s “The Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Ruins” should be very happy that Tonya Cooley is not my sister.

It seems while Tonya was passed out drunk one night these two scumbags took another cast member’s toothbrush and violated her with it while the cameras were rolling. The fact that no one did anything during or after the incident is just appalling.

She has since filed a lawsuit against the two cast members, MTV, the production company and anyone else who was any way affiliated with the program. I hope she gets some justice and also every penny she can from them.

Full Story: Real World cast member was Raped with a Toothbrush — TMZ

Muff..um...'nuff said

 

D.U.Ice Cream Man

Tampa — “I’m your ice cream man…stop me when I’m passing by”. It is one of the lesser known songs by Van Halen but it is a great one. I guess Ronald Purdy of New Port Richey was a fan of the band or maybe he was just channeling the spirit of Halen’s ever-drunk Diamond Dave, or maybe he just hated his life as a 49 year old ice cream truck driver.

Either way, it’s probably not a good idea to get all liquored-up and go out on your usual Ice Cream Truck routes. It’s even less of a good idea to almost run over a child. Well that is exactly what Ronny did; someone saw it and called the cops. When the cops pulled him over they found 2 open whiskey bottles and an ice cream truck driver with a blood alcohol level almost 3 times the legal limit.

I guess next time he will drown his misery in a tub of ice cream like the rest of us.

Full Story: Ice Cream truck driver charged with DUI

"And your topping....?

 

Freaky Fun

Ok, so its just a pierced belly-button...but how do YOU know she's not a freak?

Spudz McKenzie, another child actor gone badÂ

Hope it doesn't get caught in the zipper againÂ

I think I saw this at the Laser Light Show once

Elf Ears, WTF?Â

Grandma, why?