Crap you should read this Weekend

 

CEO Pay Skyrockets

Last year, while the rest of the country wallowed in recession, CEOs of America’s top companies enjoyed pay increases from 27 to 40 percent. That’s not some small sample size either, 2647 companies were studied. So while 99% of America hasn’t seen their income increase 40% in 30+ years, these folks saw that increase take place in one year.

The top 10 CEOs took home $770 million, with John Hammergren (CEO of McKesson Healthcare) taking a cool $145 mil of it. 4 of those top 10 were outgoing CEO’s paid nice retirement packages, including Aetna’s CEO Ronald Williams who left with a payout in excess of $50 million even though Aetna’s stock price dropped 70% since he took over in 2006.

I don’t bring this up to say we should punish these folk, because they certainly “make” a ton of money for their companies. I just refuse to listen to their arguments that taxes, regulations and unions harm their companies irreparably and eat into their profits when one single person in the company makes enough money to sustain a kingdom. When people talk about income disparity, this is what they are talking about: the rules are written to allow the rich to get much richer, while they send jobs oversees and use their money to play financial markets that screw the rest of the country.

If you don’t see a problem with any of this, then congratulations because I’m assuming you’re a CEO who had a great 2010.

Read: Executive Pay Increased up to 40% in 2010 — Guardian.com

Occupy this!

 

Is Rick Perry Gay?

Texas — I’m not saying Rick Perry is gay. I’m just saying other people are saying Rick Perry is gay…and that he has a little penis. Glen Maxey, author of Head Figure Head: The Search for the Hidden Life of Rick Perry, certainly has stories to back up that sentiment. The problem is, they’re just rumors and stories so I am in no way suggesting they’re true. But they’re frickin’ entertaing. Definitely read the whole Gawker article, but here’s a taste of the fun from “James”, some dude who responded to a Craigslist ad:

The posting asked for someone willing to unlock the door, turn off the lights, and lie face-down on the bed, legs spread. James replied to the ad, and did as instructed. As he lay on his bed in the dark, James heard someone struggling to open the door. Shielding his eyes, he ran out and opened the door….He jerked down his shorts…It lasted about a minute. He had a little d*ck. It was the worst f*ck of my life. And on top of it all he stunk because he had been jogging. He then pulled up his shorts and put the used condom in his pocket.

As the mystery man tried to leave James’ apartment, he struggled with the front door, which had a tendency to jam. The man started yelling for James to help him…. As James opened it…his face was illuminated, and seen by James for the first time.

“Oh my God,” thought James. “I just got f*cked by Rick Perry!”

There is so much of this story that could be BS, but its just one of many. You know what they say, when there’s smoke, there’s fire on Rick Perry’s small, burning, gay penis.

Read: All your Rick Perry sex rumors collected in one book — Gawker.com

Ummm....your argument is invalid

 

Howard Stern Got Talent

Speaking of small penises, super shock-jock Howard Stern signed on to be the newest judge on America’s Got Talent. The self-proclaimed King of All Media will replace Piers Morgan on the panel and join Howie Mandell and Sharon Osborne to determine which juggler/dancer/firebreather is better than the unattractive singers who couldn’t cut it on American Idol.

Many worry that Stern is way too raunchy for the “family” show, but those idiots obviously don’t realize that Stern’s show is mostly shtick. Howard is a brilliant guy, and certainly knows how to make things entertaining. He’s been judging moronic talent shows for the moronic masses his entire career, so this is a natural step back into the “terrestrial” spotlight for him.

Stern was widely rumored to be in the mix for American Idol during their host search, but many thought it was just a ploy to get more money from Sirius/XM. Now reports have Simon Cowell and the other AGT producers forking over $10 mil a year to Stern, but when Stern was asked about a rumor he’d be pulling in around  $20mil/yr he responded “Do I work for that little, c’mon?”

Read: Howard Stern joins America’s Got Talent — MSNBC.com

"Sharon shut up!!!!"

 

Is Climate Change Overrated?

I certainly believe that man’s actions affect the environment, and in turn effect the climate, but to what extent I’m not sure. The problem is the environmental lobby has turned into a multi-billion per year industry, and the only way to keep those numbers up is to scare the crap out of people.

So I often preach about the dangers of what we do to our planet, but you should definitely read the Slate article below about just how blown out of proportion much of the “global warming/climate change” claims are. You must always consider your source. But even though some claims are exaggerated, make no mistake: we live in a symbiotic relationship with Earth. Everything on this planet effects everything else, and our presence certainly has its detrimental effects.

Doubt this claim? Have you ever stood in a room packed full of people? Remember how hot it was? That was just standing around. Now imagine that times 7 billion and toss in cars, factories and plants and waste. Then think about all the natural resources 7 billion people use up (pretty much water) and how long it would take the planet to replenish. It makes a difference.

But all this “we kill the planet” stuff isn’t true. The planet will always adapt and survive, its just a question of whether billions of Humans can adapt and survive the new conditions as well.

Read:  How activists distort climate change to make it sound scary — Slate

Even Polar Bears face foreclosure when they're mortgages are "underwater"

 

Officer BadAss

West Valley City, Utah — The news is filled with negative stories about Cops (people always trying to hate the state), so its nice to share a good one once in a while. Take for example Officer Kevin Peck who arrived on the scene of an accident where a bus struck a woman. Peck noticed a tennis show poking out from under the truck, so he dove under to find Arryan Smith (nice name!) pinned under the truck, leg torn open, unable to free herself.

She said several times that she was really scared, but she maintained her composure very well. She was pretty calm and asked me not to leave her. I told her I would stay with her until we got her out.

Officer Peck stayed with Smith, talked to her, calmed her down, etc. for at least 10 minutes until firefighters arrived to lift the truck off her and pull her out.

Fortunately Smith will not lose the use of her legs, (only suffered a broken kneecap) and should recover just fine. As Peck put it after,

At times, the job can become mundane. Then, every once in a while, something touches you more than the others. It reminds you why you became a police officer. All across the country, officers do things like this every day. It’s part of the job.

It is part of the job, but that doesn’t mean everyone follows that creed. It takes a special cop to know he does more than fight crime. Peck is good Police.

Read: Officer crawls under bus to comfort pinned woman — ABC News.com

"Im sorry about the accommodations. Next time we'll see if we can make it a Winnebago"

 

Idiot Thieves 

Wisconsin — Jason S. Hamielec, 29, and Brian A. Johnson, 28, went out for a little fun. In their case “fun” meant stealing cars and joy-riding around Madison. Unfortunately for the dynamic duo, they’re both morons. One of them pocket dialed 911, and a dispatcher listened in as Hamielec and Johnson discussed their crimes. The line stayed open for 54 minutes as the idiots talked about what they stole, where they’d sell it, and even gave details about what kind of car they were in and where they were.

Police used all this information to track down the morons and arrest them. The geniuses were shocked at how Cops could track them down, so they asked if their phones were “tapped”. The cop pointed to their cell phone, which was still on, and hit “end call”.

I gotta ask, who pocket-dials 911?

Read: Thieves arrested after pocket dialing 911 — Dailymail.uk

You sure got a couple of real gems there, ladyÂ

 

Suspended for Tebowing

Long Island, NY — I am one of the original Tim Tebow faithful (Go Gators) but man, the Tebow phenomenon is getting out of control. Now it seems that  not only is Tim Tebow taking over the world, he’s getting students suspended from high school.

40 or so Students in Riverside High School were cited for disrupting and blocking hallways while Tebowing between class. The display was all in good fun, but for some reason the school singled out 4 student-atheletes and gave them 1 day suspensions. WHAT? WHY? According to one of the suspended students:

The administration told us that our Tebowing was blocking the halls and could potentially cause a riot, because they were growing in number and if the wrong kid gets pushed a brawl could ensue. We had no idea that we could get suspended for such a thing. It was a joke between a group of friends that took a life of its own. We figured at the most we would just be told to stop.

I can’t imagine that these kids were actually suspended because they dropped to a knee in the hallway. Would they have been punished if it was a synchronized shoe-tying? No chance. These kids were punished either because officials are sick of a football player, or hate said football player’s religious affiliation. Either way, its a shame kids were punished because of the “meaning” of their actions, which is a violation of free speech. And common sense…don’t they realize how friggin awesome #15 is?

Read: NY teens suspended for Tebowing in the hallway — BarStoolSports.com

Just another excuse for me to show off my Halloween Costume. The couple was  celebrating her saying "yes" to his proposal. Their friends were less than pleased I blessed their unionÂ

 

The Spielberg Face

You know the look. The actor/actress looks past the camera and their face is frozen in wonder, fear, surprise, or general awe. The camera zooms in tight to make sure you are thrust into the enormity of the situation and to drag the emotion out of you. It’s the most powerful club in Steven Spielberg’s bag of tricks, and one he isn’t shy about pulling out multiple times a film.

Definitely watch this video and not only revel in the genius that is Spielberg, but also to see just how it is that he’s been manipulating your emotions all these years.

 

Friday Fun Day

It's great to be a Florida GatorÂ

Sandusky Snowman gets 'em every time

Stay Away Amurica!Â

"I really love Megan. She truly embodies everything I want to be. I mean have seen Jonah Hex?"

Just reminding you about our Ugly Sweater Party Saturday night...you in?

"Almost done...."

Ass is Ass

Ohai

How do you get off their Xmas mailing list?

I miss Sock-tober

Jermito and Friends, circa 1987Â

Forget 4th quarter comebacks, this is proof of God's work

Really MacGyver? Can't fix the broken down car? What's the matter, can't find a cactus, some barbed wire and chewing gum?Â

Ill take some from column A and column B

Oh, the dramatic lookaway...at least it gives me a second to stare

Don't let the sun go down on me....but you canÂ

Have a Horn-y Weekend

 

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2 Comments

  1. MacGyver – NOT making me Horny #FallFromGrace

  2. I must say, no matter what school you go to, you can always bet that A0Pi has the sexiest girls of all Sororitys. Just sayin