Crap you should read Thursday

Daily Darwinism RemindummmmWTF?


Sandusky, Professor of Hygiene

Pennsylvania — Jerry Sandusky’s team continues to mount his defense that he’s just a misunderstood man who “enjoys” kids.  You’re gonna love the latest BS to come out of Camp Molester. When trying to defend the fact that a grown-ass man repeatedly showers with pre-teen boys, one of his lawyers, Karl Rominger, offered this explanation:

“Some of these kids don’t have basic hygiene skills…Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people, but people who work with troubled youth will tell you there are a lot of juvenile delinquents and people who are dependent who have to be taught basic life skills like how to put soap on their body.”

So Sandusky isn’t only falsely accused, but now its even worse because he was performing a public service by teaching kids to put soap on their body. Are they friggin kidding? Even if this was his purpose, why not just tell them how to lather up? Maybe draw a diagram? Does the lesson fail to hit home when it isn’t taught with an old-man penis rubbing the kid’s butt?

This whole legal team needs to be locked up as well, preferably in a cell with Coach Jerr-Bear and some Viagra.

Read: Karl Rominger explains Sandusky Defense — HuffPost

"The Royal Penis is Clean, Your HighnessÂ


Frackin’ Quakes

Ohio— On March 17, Youngstown experienced two earthquakes. Since then it’s registered 7 more, the strongest a 2.7. That’s 9 earthquakes in 8 months for Youngstown, an area that hasn’t felt any seismic activity since the 18th Century. What’s with the change? I’m sure it has nothing to do with the 9,000 foot deep Natural Gas well 2 miles outside of town. I’ve been preaching for a while about Hydraulic Fracturing (Fracking), and as the SCIENCE pours in, the more dirty secrets of the poorly studied and poorly regulated industry get exposed:

At the well, a local company has been disposing of brine and other liquids from natural gas wells across the border in Pennsylvania — millions of gallons of waste from the process called hydraulic fracturing that is used to unlock the gas from shale rock.

The location and timing of the quakes led to suspicions that the disposal well was responsible for Youngstown’s seismic awakening. As the wastewater was injected into the well under pressure, the thinking went, some of it might have migrated into deeper rock formations, unclamping ancient faults and allowing the rock to slip.

Its not just in Ohio. Colorado, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, British Columbia and other shale-gas-producing areas are also experiencing new tremors they didn’t get before the wells. Arkansas has experienced THOUSANDS of small tremors in 2011 alone, one reaching up to 4.7. Colorado is the same, with a couple exceeding 5.0.

I understand that natural gas is a powerful form of energy (which could decrease our reliance on Mideast Oil) and that not every Fracking well experiences the earthquakes, but the money should be spent on figuring out other ways to expose and collect the gas. We certainly should not support injecting millions of gallons deep into the earth, destroying the nearby water supply, and doing immeasurable/incomprehensible  damage to the world below us.

But when I bitch about how we need government regulation to protect us, the Energy industry is one of my greatest concerns. We need to stop letting the Industry gett away with harming us and lying about it in the name of “bringing energy to the masses”. It might be more expensive to do things the safer way, but loss of profits shouldn’t equate to loss of health and loss of life.

Read: Some blame Hydraulic Fracturing for Earthquakes — NYTimes
Read: Are you Fracking Killing Me? — The Ryno’s Horn


SOPA Amended

It seems Congress might finally do something kind of right. The Stop Online Piracy Act is a bill that was to grant government the right to shut down any website that infringes – even inadvertently – on copyrights.  The bill is ridiculously absurd because not only did it seriously infringe upon free speech (and “fair use” doctrines), but it also deprived accused websites of due process before shutting them down. It would have literally shut down the majority of the non-corporate internet, especially sites like The Horn who share videos and news.

Now Congressmen have got their head out of their asses and have made Amendments to the House bill to make it so the Act doesn’t take away some of the rights us American’s hold dear. The House’s version of the Act will only cover sites “dedicated to copyright infringement” (as opposed to incidental infringers), and specifically only foreign sites (nothing with .com, .org or .net). Now that its more narrowly tailored, the bill can actually serve a purpose in attacking foreign (meaning Chinese) piracy and not shut down the internet as we know it.

That means The Horn can hang around a little longer.; at least until these chicks sue me for using their hot pictures….

Read: SOPA amendments —

I wouldnt put that too close to your face after all I read about keyboards and fecal matter


All – American Muslims

America is full of racist, xenophobic idiots. TLC’s new reality show, All-American Muslims, is coming under fire for its depiction of Muslims. Not because the depiction is stereotypical or negative, but rather because it isn’t stereotypical or negative enough. Many are infuriated that the Muslims are protrayed as normal Americans. Apparently such a depiction is inaccurate and misleading because no one in the show is fundamentally radical, insane, or planning to blow anyone up in the name of Allah. These complaining idiots think its “Dangerous” because it lulls Americans into a false security thinking Muslims are normal people and not fanatic killers. The Florida Family Assoc (FFA) is one of the Christian groups leading the pull-your-advertising march, and they explained why:

“‘All-American Muslim’ is propaganda clearly designed to counter legitimate and present-day concerns about many Muslims who are advancing Islamic fundamentalism and Sharia law”

With the bigoted press, many advertisers (Lowes, have pulled their sponsorship. Sure some of them are doing so because the show is boring and ratings will suck, but others are doing it because Americans just don’t want to watch a Muslim family. They’ll watch teenagers get pregnant, icetruckers pull cargo, pawn shops negotiate, rich housewives argue over Botox,  or moms parade their 4 yr olds around like whores, but certainly not Muslims who take their kids to school and have marriage discussions.

Amurica is a great place, especially those seeking religious freedom…but only so long as its the same religion as everyone else. Don’t go thinking you can parade your radical religion’s normalcy around here. Get your sweet families and non-Western hating views out of our country; there’s no more room for normal, nice Muslims. Apparently it just makes us feel too bad about hating your guts.

Read: All American Muslims loses another corporate sponsor —

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Paul a Clipper

 Los Angeles — Chris Paul is going to Los Angeles, but not for the Lakers. CP3 was officially traded to the Clippers along with 2 2nd round picks, while New Orleans got everyone not named Blake Griffin (Eric Gordon, Al-Farouw Aminu, Chris Kaman, and a 1st round pick). Obviously many are crying foul play after last weekend’s  David Stern’s Veto debacle, and rightly so.

I don’t care if Stern thinks the Hornets got more value from this trade, the League abused its position as “owner” of the Hornets. It used it’s collective power to veto a deal basically because they didn’t want to stack the Lakers. But now the Clippers have 2 of the League’s top 10 players in Paul and Griffin, so they’ere looking pretty damn stacked as well.

I’m just wondering how many horribly PR decisions David Stern needs to make before he’s asked politely to leave his throne.

Read: In the best interests of the League — The Ryno’s Horn

Paul and Griffin at the Stupid Face Convention


Bad Ass Rebel

Homs, Syria — You have to watch the video below to see a street-sweeper casually going about his job among the civil-war-torn streets of Hom. Sounds boring until that street-sweeper drops the broom, picks up a bazooka, and takes on a tank.

With over 5,000 Syrians dead since Assad’s government began cracking down on protesters, this certainly won’t be the last street sweeper to take matters into his own bazooka.

 Read: Bazooka Blast Syrian Army Tank captured on camera —


Between a Rock and an Elevator

New York City —  Sometimes you catch the elevator, and sometimes the elevator catches you. Suzzanne Hart, 41, learned this lesson the hard way as she walked in her Midtown office building. Hart put one foot in the elevator, but then it lurched up, and pinned her between the 1st and 2nd floors.

Suzanne was pinned there for hours, and died between the floors. It’s a sad day for the Hart family, and a traumatic day for those stuck in the elevator who watched Hart get crushed. I’m just glad I wasn’t there because I’d be conflicted mourning for the poor woman and cursing her as I held in my obligatory morning number 2.

Surprisingly this doesn’t happen more often. With 60,000 elevators in NYC, only 53 accidents were reported in 2010, and only 3 of them fatal. As I don’t want to show you video of someone dying in an elevator, I figured Id share the dude who got stuck in the elevator for 41 hours. Speaking of that number 2….

Read: Elevator Accident Kills a Woman in a Madison Avenue Bldg —



Minnesota — I know that the cold does funny things to your brain, but Rosemount High School certainly has a unique idea for what will pump up their student body during pep rallies. If you don’t throw up while watching the video below, you’ll see the school’s sports Captains blindfolded, and having to guess who was kissing them. I’m sure (I hope) they’d never guess, but they were actually making out with their parents. WTF? I’m for serious, though I wish this video wasn’t.

Since when is incest funny…or Pep worthy?  It certainly is Horn worthy, though only for making fun of REAL Amurica purposes.


Thursday Dedication

Goes to the lovely Jessica Alba. I know she needs no introduction, but her beauty is still worth sharing. Ms. Alba is one of those rare creatures that can check any box under “nationality” (French, Dutch, Mexican, Native American, etc) and still be the hottest chick from her homeland(s). Sure Ms. Alba might be a mom now, but since she isn’t hitting me up for Paternity payments (anymore) I don’t fell guilty Horn-ing her up….Enjoy.










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