Crap you should read Hump Day


Lots of Crap to sift through today, but fortunately God created the beautiful female posterior to get us over the Hump. Horn on….


Tax Cuts or Oil Pipeline? Hmmmmm….

Washington DC — Not sure if you heard, but the economy’s been in the tank and many in Congress are too focused on playing politics to come up with a plan to fix things. Democrats, the horrible politicians they are, are at least searching for ways that the Government can better the situation. Republicans are only searching for ways to better their Bankrollers because the Bankrollers promise to better the situation themselves.

Case in point, one of the Bills in front of Congress right now is to extend unemployment benefits as well as a payroll tax cut. The unemplyment benefits would give funds to those without work through the holiday season, and the payroll tax cut  extension would keep the tax from jumping from 4.2% to 6/2% a difference of about $1000 for families making $50k. Congress is anxious to pass the bill before the holidays because our country needs these extensions to alleviate the harm of millions of suffering Americans. That’s where Congressional Republicans stepped in to screw things up.

House Republicans forced a rider into the House bill to build the controversial 1700 mile Keystone oil pipeline that would run from Canada to Mexico. WTF? does a controversial oil pipeline that wouldn’t begin construction for some time have to do with the government immediately fixing the economy before the holidays? Absolutely nothing, but Republicans wanted to use the extremely necessary bill to force their own political gains and manipulate their Democratic counterparts.

The pipeline is an extremely contentious partisan issue (environmental effects as well as dangers of “tar sands” oil) and Republicans hope for quick passage without a long drawn out debate. They also hope to force Democrats to vote AGAINST the bill so they can say Democrats also voted against the payroll tax and unemployment benefit extensions.

The Bill passed the Republican controlled House and is now in front of the Democratic controlled Senate where it will get shot down. Then its back to the “negotiating” drawing board. So the whole thing was a waste of time, and millions of American lives are hanging in the balance while Congress (Republicans) plays political games.

Read: Republicans muscle Oil Pipeline into Tax Cut Bill — Associated Press

"Look, I'm gonna tell you that building an Oil Pipeline helps the middle class survive during the holidays. I know its stupid, but just believe me, ok?"Â


Osama v Health Care

Keeping with the Party Politics over Country theme, a recent poll of a Conservative focus group reveals that Republicans hate our President so much that they would would choose killing Obama Care over killing Osama bin Laden. Yup, you read that right.

GOP strategist Rick Wilson says the majority of the focus group polled cared less about bringing the most wanted murderer/terrorist in the history of the Country to justice than they do ensuring that all Americans don’t get Health Care. It’s that simple. No matter how they try to confuse the issue (job killing, Big Government, etc), the ONLY REASON to be so vehement is pure animus towards our sitting President. Now matter how they try to paint it, Health Care Legislation isn’t curtailing freedoms, it’s making sure that EVERYONE has the ability to stay healthy and NOT DIE.

The government’s most basic goal should be to protect its people, and I can think of no better way (besides a military) than ensuring everyone has health care. If people have legit gripes about the system, or concerns about government inefficiency, then talk about fixing it and figure out a way to make it more efficient. But to vehemently fight against Health Care coverage for all Americans is, well, it’s un-American.

But for too many, it’s Party over country at all costs. Disgusting.

Read: GOP Media Strategist says Republicans would rather kill ObamaCare than Osama Bin Laden —

Hates big government, hates abortion, loves a strong military....That guy on the left sounds awesome, what's his take on Universal Health Care?


Sandusky’s Crappy Lawyer

Pennsylvania — Starting with the disastrous Bob Costas interview, Joe Amendola has made some questionable decisions in his representation of the Penn State molester, Jerry Sanduksy. This week Amendola decided to have his client waive the Preliminary hearing. Rather than immediately learn the entire case against his client, Crazy Joe feared giving all the witnesses/victims a chance to unload their “false” stories against Sandusky. Then he painted all the witnesses as money-hungry liars out to take advantage of his poor client. What a scumbag.

That’s why it’s even funnier that his little game turned into a big gaffe that embarrassed Team Rape even further. Amendola chided anyone who believed witness Mike McQueary (who found Sanduksy raping a boy in the Penn State shower) was crazy and “I suggest they dial 1-800-REALITY.” Those who did dial the number were shocked to be greeted by “Hey guys, welcome to the hottest place for triple-X action. Get ready for bulging, bursting pleasure with horny gay, bi, and bi-curious studs. Just 99 cents per minute.” Hilarious.

This is why convicted pedophiles shouldn’t choose legal representation on the sole basis that the attorney is also a pedophile.

Read: Sandusky Abruptly Waives Preliminary Hearing — ABC News

Read: 1-800-Reality number given by Sandusky’s Lawyer is a Gay Phone Sex line — NY Daily News

"Is this real life?" Â Â "No it's Penn State"Â


Occupy The Marlins

Miami —  As a fan, it’s been pretty exciting to watch the Marlins shell out the cash to build a better team. The numbers are staggering: $191 million was committed last week alone, compared to $210 million spent on payroll over the last 6 years combined. So why are Jeffrey Loria and David Sampson suddenly so loose with the loot? It’s because it ain’t their money, and with the new stadium, they stand to make a crapload more. ran a great article about the shadiness that is the Florida Miami Marlins ownership, and how they lied and screwed over the city of Miami and Dade County. At Joe Robbie Pro Player Landshark Sun Life Stadium they had one of the worst leases in MLB, but this time they got the taxpayers to foot a large chunk of the bill for the new stadium and their yearly rent. Oh yeah, the Marlins don’t have to share the revenue with the city/county. Like I said, crapload of money.

Now they’re spending that taxpayer money on new players that will put the money in their pockets, not the taxpayers. I’m a huge Marlins fan, but still not sure why/how the City/County made this horrible agreement that benefits the Marlins, but not the city of Miami at all.

Read: Hruby Tuesday: Its Time to Occupy the Marlins —

"Hey Mark, you are going to love pitching in front of 3,000 fans. Its very...intimate"Â


Drive Thru

Columbia, Tennessee — Eric Whittaker tried to kill his girlfriend but as she ran into the Mini-Mart for safety, he followed…with his big ass truck. Amazingly, the girlfriend escaped the path of the truck and the collapsing market. The store-owner was hit, but shockingly walked away with just a couple scrapes. And the driver? That dude walked out, disappointingly realized he missed his target, then stole a getaway car which he proceeded to crash into a bread truck. This guy must be so much fun at Carpool.

You have to watch the video below to see the SUV barreling through the glass storefront from all the different CCTV angles. If I was there I’d have crapped my pants, which sucks because I’d be looking for that damn key attached to the hubcap forever.

Read: Shopkeeper survives hit from speeding truck that slams into store —

Watch: Idiot Takes out storefront with Truck trying to kill girlfriend — Youtube


Dolphin Fan Gets Knocked Out

Sun Life Stadium — I guess it wasn’t enough for this poor Dol-Fan to watch the Eagles whoop his team’s ass, he had to go and get his ass whopped himself. Check the video below to watch the drunken fan start some crap, then get dropped faster than a bomb to Brandon Marshall.

Watch: Dolphins Fan gets knocked out at Sun Life —


On-Air Freudian Slip…

Denver, Colorado — Oh, the hilarity of live local news. Check what happens to News 9 field reporter Ashton Altieri when he tries to congratulate one of the anchors on the big win for their alma mater, the Indiana HOOSIERS.

Watch: Newsman makes terribly hilarious Freudian Slip On air — Youtube


Hump Day Fun





Have a Horn-y Humpday

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  1. We’ll see how many people have access to healthcare when Obamacare forces doctors to stop taking any kind of insurance. FACT.

    • MG, would you rather our government have killed ObamaCare or Osama bin Laden? Which is a bigger threat to American way of life, universal health care or al Qaeda?