The Sherms NFL Week 14 Forecast

Will Devone and the Dolphins continue to roll?

 

by Ryan “The Sherms” Sherman

 

Happy Thursday Horn-balls.   Please enjoy my Week 14 Forecast in advance of tonight’s Thursday Night game.

My season (Weeks 6-12) stats are as follows:

Win/Loss Record Entering Week 14:    49-34

Against Point Spread Entering Week 12:      38-36-3

Let’s get to it…

 

Browns (4-8) at Steelers (9-3)  ♣♣

I gave this game two clubs only because of the divisional matchup/longstanding rivalry.  In reality, the Steelers crush Browns on both sides of the ball and win by two TDs.

Look for Rothlisberger to throw for 2 TDs and Mendenhall to run for two of his own.  Steelers score a defensive TD, as well.

Prediction:  Steelers 38 – Browns 20

 

 

Patriots (9-3) at Redskins (4-8)  ♣

The Redskins have one win in their last nine games.  The Patriots have Tom Brady.

Patriots storm the Nation’s capital and win by 17.

Prediction:  Patriots 30 – Redskins 13

 

Chiefs (5-7) at Jets (7-5)  ♣♣

The Chiefs need to win their last 4 games to have a shot of winning the AFC West (and the automatic playoff berth that comes with it).  Unfortunately, Todd Haley’s squad runs into the Jets who – while anything but spectacular – find ways to win and stay in the middle of the playoff (last wildcard spot) hunt.

Look for Santonio Holmes to have a big game with at least 100 yards and a TD, and for the Jets Defense/Special Teams to score a touchdown.

Prediction:  Jets 24 – Chiefs 17

 

Texans (9-3) v. Bengals (7-5) ♣♣♣

Matt Schaub went down.  Then, in his first game as a starter in the last few years, Matt Leinart goes down.  Thankfully the Texans’ third-string QB isn’t named “Matt. “ Rather, it’s “T.J.,”, but don’t call him “Hooker” because Football players don’t like that.  #JeffIreland  #DezBryant

Even with T.J. Hooker Yates as the starter I like the Texans’ chances for a W.  The Bengals started the season strong but appear pretender-ish of late.  Look for Arian Foster to carry the load, and the ball into the end zone (at least) twice.  Also look for the Dalton/Green tandem to continue their stellar rookie years with a TD hookup.

Prediction:  Texans 23- Bengals 20

Will the Texans capitalize on an inevitable Bengals collapse?

 

Colts (0-12) at Ravens (9-3) ♣

This ought to be a competitive game.  I’m sure the Ravens D won’t register four turnovers and two TDs.  I’m also sure that Ray Rice won’t have 150 combined yards and at least one TD.

I feel bad for Reggie Wayne.  Maybe the Dolphins can bring him back to Miami next year?  #SuperBowl

Prediction:  Ravens 31 – Colts 13

 

Falcons (7-5) at Panthers (4-8) ♣♣

Don’t look now but the Panthers and Killa Cam Newton are on a two game winning streak.  Problem is the Falcons need a win to stay alive (or at least healthy) for the last wildcard spot in the NFC.  The Falcons need to pick up their running game big time, so expect Michael Turner to score, as the Falcons surely are. Also look for Matt Ryan to throw TDs to Tony G and Roddy White en route to a nail-bitter victory.

I also have Cam Newton throwing for 250 yards and one TD, as well as adding another rushing TD to his historic season, albeit in defeat.  #RookieOfTheYearLockItUp.

Prediction:  Falcons 24 – Panthers 20

 

Buccaneers (4-8) at Jaguars (3-9) ♣ 

These two Florida turds give us what could be the most unwatchable game of the week.  Tampa Bay’s Josh Freeman has failed to live up to expectations and if Jacksonville didn’t have MJD they’d be JacksonState.  The fact (ok, “opinion”….which happens to be correct) that the Miami Dolphins are – at this point of the season – FAR AND AWAY the best team in Florida is  almost beyond belief.

Don’t expect to catch much of this one on the Red Zone Channel.

Prediction:  Buccaneers 23 – Jaguars 17

 

 

Saints (9-3) at Titans (7-5) ♣♣♣

The Titans are one of the surprises of the NFL this season, entering Week 14 at 7-5 and right in the thick of the AFC Wildcard race.  In order to make the PLAYOFFS?#@?$!? they will need to win at least 3 of their last 4, if not all 4.  Problem is, they face the Saints this week.

The Saints score at will, so while the Titans have a respectable D, Drew Brees is gonna light ‘em up.

Who dat say dey gonna stop Jimmy Graham?

Who dat say dey gonna stop Darren Sproles?

Who dat say dey gonna stop Marques Coltston, Devery Henderson, Lance Moore and Co.?

Not the Titans.

Look for Brees to throw for 4 TDs and for Graham and Sproles to have at least one each. Also look for Chris Johnson to continue his resurgence and put up over 150 combined yards and one TD in the loss.

Prediction:  Saints 38 – Titans 24

Can the Titans upend the Saints and make a playoff run of their own?

 

Eagles (4-8 v. Dolphins (4-8) ♣♣

The Dream Team is a Nightmare and Suck for Luck has turned into a forgotten catchphrase.  Truth of the matter is the Dolphins are playing like the 5th or 6th best team in the AFC at this point, and but-for their epic collapses against the Browns and Broncos, they’d be 6-6 and alive for the PLAYOFFS?!%$%$@?  Yeah, I know…but-for the queen not having balls she’d be king.

*****ASIDE: I was thinking about writing an article this week about how despite my major criticism of Sporano, I have to respect the fact that he’s inspired his once 0-7 team to win 4 of the last 5 and actually play well.  Then I came to my senses and said to myself “who gives a rat’s ass?”  So he got his team to not be losers and put their best foot forward and play like men, after 7 weeks of playing like total donkeys.  Good for him.  He can include that in his resume…and use it in his next interview when they ask him about resiliency. Steven Ross isn’t going to be blinded by this recent success and think about retaining Sporano…is he? *****

As for the game, Matt Moore will continue his solid play and toss two TDs.  Reggie Bush will put up 125+ combined yards and a TD of his own.  Eagles will keep it close — thanks in large part to LeSean McCoy’s two TDs — but Michael Vick (or Vince Young) will throw an INT on the Eagles’ potential game-tying drive to seal it for the Phins.

Prediction:  Dolphins 24 – Eagles 17

Who will rise out of the Disappointment Bowl?

 

Vikings (2-10) at Lions (7-5) ♣

Even without Ndamukong Suh, the Lions have more than enough on Defense to keep the Vikings in check…especially with Joe Webb and Toby Gerhart likely starting in place of Cristian Ponder and AP.

The Lions should win easy, and “easy” includes Matthew Stafford having at least three TDs (two to Megatron).

Prediction:  Lions 30 – Vikings 17

 

49ers (10-2) at Cardinals (5-7) ♣♣

The Cardinals will surprise many by keeping it close into the 4th quarter, but the 49ers will keep their inside track to a 1st Round Bye and beat the Cardinals by a TD.

Look for Frank Gore to bounce back after a few sub-par performances and rack up 100 yards and score a TD, and for Alex Smith to find Vernon Davis for another.

Prediction:  49ers 24 – Cardinals 17

 

Bears (7-5) at Broncos (7-5)  ♣♣♣

Seven weeks ago the Broncos were 1-4 and Broncos coach John Fox reluctantly made the switch to Tim Tebow.  Since then, Tebow and the Broncos D have propelled themselves to a share of the division lead in the AFC West.

Fortunately for the Broncos they face a weakened Bears team, with Calib Hanie starting in place of Jay Cutler and Matt Forte likely out with a knee injury. Look for the miracles to continue; Tebow will lead the Broncos to a go ahead TD at the beginning of the 4th quarter, and the Broncos won’t look back until Elway gives his “Crap, he did it again?” smile.  Also, pick up and start Broncos D as they should register 3 turnovers and one defensive TD.

Prediction:  Broncos 27 -  Bears 20

 

Raiders (7-5) at Packers (12-0) ♣♣♣♣

I don’t think anyone is beating the Packers in the regular season, but I can assert with almost complete certainty that if someone does beat them, it won’t be the Carson Palmer-led Raiders.  Darren McFadden is still out, and the hampered Raiders simply don’t have the weapons to match the Packers’ inevitable 30+ point offensive output.

’72 Dolphins keep the champagne on ice.

Prediction:  Packers 38 – Raiders 23

Ryan Grant hopes to shed his Crappy season and finally contribute to win #13

 

Bills (5-7) at Chargers (5-7) ♣♣

I had this game circled on my calendar….in September when both of these teams were 3-0.  At this point, the Bills have no chance of making the PLAYOFFS?!!?$?!#? and the Chargers need to run the table and win 4 straight to have a shot at the AFC West’s Automatic Birth.

Fortunately for the Chargers, the Bills Offense has been grounded with Fred Jackson on the shelf.  Philip Rivers will throw for 300 yards and 3 TDs, and the Chargers will win easily.

Prediction:  Chargers 27 – Bills 10

 

Rams (2-10) at Seahawks (5-7) ♣

The NFL really needs to start flexing late-season Monday Night games.  I mean Fantasy Football aside, who the hell is even watching this game?  I’d rather watch Piers Morgan, or repeats of Lost, or nothing at all.  This game should get a 0.1 in the Nielson Ratings.  Even if I did watch this snoozer I’d be fast asleep by the middle of the 2nd quarter.

For those who care: the Seahawks will win, because they suck less.

Prediction:  Seahawks 21 – Rams 13

 

Giants (6-6) at Cowboys (7-5) ♣♣♣♣

Luckily for these mediocre foes they’re both in the same division as the terrible Redskins, and the Ill-adelphia Nightmares Eagles.  Adding to the intrigue (what intrigue I’m not exactly sure) they play each other twice in the final four weeks (Weeks 14 and 17).

Both QBs should play well in this game, and each surpass 300 yards and throwing 2-3 TDs.  In the end the running game will be the difference, and the ‘Boys hold the advantage (especially with Ahmad Bradshaw being banged up).  The Cowboys will win a close one and take a stranglehold on the NFC East Division Title in the process.

Prediction:  Cowboys 24 – Giants 23

"Hey Tony, hate to see you go...but love to watch you leave"