Crap you should read Thursday


I know you Hornballs were going through withdrawal while I was in San Francisco for a couple of days, so here’s a bit of what took place this week. The Crap is always a-flowin’…


$3.6 Trillion

That’s how much cash corporate and financial America have stashed away in their coffers. Apparently banks and other financial institutions are sitting on $1.6 trillion (much of it from government “loans” at near 0% interest) while corporations and business have more than $2 trillion saved away for a rainy-day.

Banks have been able to borrow the money essentially for free from the Federal Reserve, so why not? According to the Federal Reserve (Table L.109, line 28), banks are sitting on $1.6 trillion in reserves — about 8,000 times the $20 billion they held in 2007. Meanwhile, non-financial companies are keeping their profits liquid, rather than plowing them back into investments, to the tune of about $2 trillion. Together, that amounts to almost a quarter of the U.S. gross domestic product.

So while our country is going through the worst economic downturn since 1929, th0se with wealth amassed 8000 times more money. A new report from a group of Massachusetts Economists claim that if these bastions of Capitalism infuse even $1.4 trillion back into the economy through productive investments, they’d create 19 million jobs and lower unemployment to 5% over the next 3 years. While I am not nearly qualified enough to judge the merit of these findings, what I do understand is that all the talk about corporate America and “job creation” is bullcrap. I have no problem with saving money, but Corporate America abuses the “job killing/job creation” argument while sitting on more money than has ever been stored in the history of the world, yet they’re still not creating jobs.

When you wonder what the Occupy movement is all about, just think of the $3.6 trillion in hoarded wealth sitting in accounts to benefit less than 1% of America. That’s trillions of dollars that could be invested in new technology, used to build new factories and create new jobs. Yet they aren’t.

So next time you hear the stupid “trickle-down” arguments and how the government should go out of its way to placate Corporate/Financial America because they’re the ones to keep the economy flowing, just remember the gargantuan $3.6 trillion treasure trove they’ve already amassed while failing to do anything to spark the economy.

Read: PERI Report: 19 million Jobs for US workers: The impact of channeling $1.4 trillion in excess liquid assets holdings into productive investments

Read: Corporate America is sitting on the solution to the jobs crisis — Huffington Post

Occupy: DuckburgÂ


Russia’s Rigged Election

Moscow — It might be a new century, but Russia is still up to its old totalitarian tricks. The Ruskies realize how important it is to appear to be a democracy, but in reality the Russian people have no say whatsoever. Russia held its Parliamentary elections this week, and many say the entire thing was rigged. Videos of blatant ballot box stuffing have gone viral, and now more officials are speaking out that they were instructed to rig the election by Vladimir Putin’s United Russia Party that dominates Russia.

Even before the voting, it was allegedly decided that United Russia would get 68% of the vote, while the other parties divided up the remaining 32%. This is particularly important given that Parliamentary seats are set by the percentage of votes. Putin and his United Russia party were the ones who chose who’d have power in their government, not the people.

Humorously, once the votes were counted (even with the ballot box stuffing) United Russia only got about 50% of the vote. The shocking numbers demonstrate that the Russian people aren’t as pleased with Putin as he’d like the world to believe.

Putin and United Russia obviously deny all claims of voting impropriety, and are even attacking Sec of State Hillary Clinton for speaking out about it. But the fact remains, people of the world have very little say; power is decided upon by the few and packaged to the many as “their choice”.

Read: Moscow Official: I Helped Rig Russia’s Election — MSNBC

Vlad refuses to submit to the little people....Â


Assad is a Crazy Bastard

Syria — President Assad finally agreed to speak to American media, but for some reason he wanted his mouthpiece be Barbara Walters. When asked if he felt guilty about the 4000 Syrians that have died since the uprisings in Syria began, Assad just grunted and chuckled. He denied giving any orders to kill his people.

You feel sorry for the lives that has been lost. But you don’t feel guilty – when you don’t kill people….They are not MY forces. They are the forces belonging to the government. I don’t own them, I’m president. There was no command to kill or be brutal…There is a difference between having a policy to crackdown and between having some mistakes committed by some officials. There is a big difference…We don’t kill our people… no government in the world kills its people, unless it’s led by a crazy person.’

Assad wants us to believe his armed forces went out on their own and killed Syrians, so obviously its not his fault. He even then tried to BS Barbara into believing that the rebels have killed more civilians than his army. But as for the UN report that says 4000 Syrians have died since the uprisings began? “Who said that the United Nations is a credible institution?” Assad bragged that being a part of the UN is just a “game we play”. When asked about pictures showing the brutal slaughter, he replied “To be frank with you, Barbara, I don’t believe you…how did you verify those pictures?”

This is the tough part about being a Dictator in today’s day and age. No matter how hard you try to control the news, these pesky civilians still leak out photos and videos of mass slaughter. So what do you do? Lie Lie Lie Lie Lie Lie, then kill a couple more dissenters, then repeat. Damn Liberal/Zionist media and their facts!

Watch:  Barbara Walters interview with Syria’s President Assad — ABC News


Miami Marlins Madness

Dallas — The notoriously frugal Marlins opened up the checkbook this week in hopes of making their homecoming in the new stadium as special as possible. They committed to spending around $190 million over the next few years by signing NL Batting Champ Jose Reyes (6yrs, $106mil), lefty no-hitting specialist Mark Buehlre (4 yrs $38 million) and closer Heath Bell (3yrs, $27 million). Unfortunately,the Marlins were unable to grab living legend Albert Pujols who surprisingly signed with the Anaheim Angels for a reported $250 million.

Did these signings improve the Marlins? Pitching yes, but overall, I’m not so sure. With Reyes on board, Hanley Ramirez has to vacate shortstop and move to third; many reports say the team Diva centerpiece is none to pleased. I’m sure he might have been psyched to be a part of the Pujols train, but now that Albert is an Angel, Hanley might just feel too disrespected and want out. Are the Marlins better in Reyes’ hands than Hanley’s for the foreseeable future? No chance.

So even though the Fish aren’t done spending, the entire grand experiment will hinge on #2. Will he display the maturity that everyone says is needed to launch his career into the stratosphere and in the process make the Marlins a better team? Or will he play the baby/diva, hurt his team to spare his ego, and demand a trade? What say you, Hanley?

Will Reyes and Ramirez be air-humping in  Miami in 2012?


Saban is a dick. Surprised?

Miami — Nick Saban is a cold, heartless bastard. This really isn’t news, but former Dolphin FB Heath Evans told a chilling story on the Jorge Sadano show that proves that Saban is just Satan with a “b”.

It was July 2005, and after the 2nd practice on the first day of two-a-days, OL Jeno James collapsed and started convulsing. Jeno was dreagged into the lockeroom by Evans and four teammates while others ran to call for help. According to Evans:

Obviously it’s a moment of panic, everyone, you know, we don’t know if this guy’s, you know, gonna die, I mean, the whole deal. But he’s so big and sweaty and heavy that we actually have to set him down in the hallway between the locker room and the training room. Nick Saban literally just starts walking in, steps over Jeno James convulsing, doesn’t say a word, doesn’t try to help, goes upstairs, I don’t know what he does. But then obviously they get Jeno ‘trauma-offed’ to the hospital.

Later, Saban later called a team meeting to explain his thoughts, and Evans was still disgusted with his explanation:

You know, the captain of the ship can never show fear or indecision, we’ve always gotta have an answer, and so I had to go upstairs, that’s why I walked over Jeno like that, I had to collect my thoughts and decide what’s best for our team.’

So it’s best for the team to see their coach ignore a player in dire need? What a leader. No wonder he had to go back to college kids who have no choice but to believe this man’s bullshit. Evans called getting cut by Saban:

“The best thing that ever happened to my career, because obviously A) they had to pay me, and B) Bill Belichick picked me up and I learned more football than I ever thought I’d know — but that deciding moment kind of right there of how Nick Saban handled that, I think it always showed the team that ultimately he doesn’t really care about any of us players.”

Oh, it feels so good to have justification for my Saban hatred. Listen to the Evans interview below….


Sex Changes Your Brain

Japan — Scientists have discovered that tiny spines between brain cells were overwhelmingly more abundant in virgin rats than those who had already done the deed. The spines seemed to virtually disappear once the rats had sex. The findings led the scientists to feel that the spines act as a trigger to promote sex (and reproduction) the first time, but once its accomplished, they serve no need.

How does this affect humans? Besides assuming that World of Warcraft players have more spines than the rest of humanity, Scientists hope to create a pill that would increase these brain-spines and in turn increase libido. The opposite might also be true. Female rats who were given drugs to kill those brain-spines were significantly less frisky, so perhaps inhibiting these spines can be a cure for sexual addiction.

Either way, this proves what you always knew in high-schoool (or in college for you late bloomers)…getting laid affects your brain.

Read: Sex changes your brain and its different for men and women —

"I love my brain-spines...."Â


 Thursday Humpin

I know my trip to San Fran might have dismayed those of you Hornballs that require some Humps to get you through the week, therefore my Thursday Dedication is dedicated to YOU. Enjoy….









Have a Horn-y Thursday

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