Crap you should read this Weekend


Cards on the Table

The Pentagon announced a couple things this last week, both of them likely tied to proving we are the world’s lone bad ass. The first is the Advanced Hypersonic Weapon (AHW), a missile that can travel at Mach 5 (3728 mph), and hit anywhere in the world within an hour. The Pentagon test launched the AHW test from Hawaii and it successfully hit its target 2500 miles away in the Marshall Islands.

The second is the Air Force’s 30,000 pound Massive Ordinance Penatrator, the bunker buster of all bunker busters. The MOP is 20 feet long, packed with over 5300 lbs of explosives, and is 5 tons heavier than anything in our arsenal. It’s purpose is to go much deeper, with maximum penetration (Giggle). The Air Force ordered 20 of these bad boys from Boeing, at a reported cost of $314 million.

These “leaks” are likely related to the pissing contest last week over the UN calling out Iran for its blatant pursuit of a nuclear bomb. Iran pledged to carry on with whatever they’re doing, and they can because that “whatever” is buried deep in multiple mountains. The AHW and the 30,000 pound MOP are our way of saying “We might be circumcised in the West, but we still have the biggest dong in the room. Wanna wrastle?”

Read: Pentagon successfully tests hypersonic bomb — Google Hosted News

Read: The ultimate bunker buster bomb —

Hey Iran, Hide yo wife, hide yo kids...


Not So Horn-y

Saudi Arabia — I will never understand the desire of Saudi men to cover their women from head to toe. Are their chicks that hot or are they that ugly?

Either way, the forced covering of the woman’s face is a disgusting tradition/law, just one of many that perpetuates man’s complete domination over woman. Crazily enough, it doesn’t only stop at most of the face, but sometimes the eyes as well. The Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice are like the S.S. of Sharia law, and they have the power to demand a woman cover her “sexy eyes”.

“I saw it. That whore blinked at me!”

This recently happened, and when the CPVPV told a woman to cover her tempting eyes, her husband lost it. He was stabbed in the hand twice during an altercation over the ruling, hospitalized and arrested.

Bette Davis would never have made it in Saudi Arabia. They are not the Horn-iest of people.

Read: This is all kinds of wrong of the day —

The Saudi "Bunny Ranch" is booooooring


Little NARC Prick

Minnesota —  Some people like to smoke weed, but maybe that’s not the most responsible thing in the world for parents to do around their kids. One Minnesota 11 year old allegedly “complained” to his Dad that his Mom and Step-dad would fill the house with their marijuana smoke. He hated the smell of herb, so his father (who probably derived no pleasure from screwing over his ex-wife) instructed him to take pictures of his Mom and his Step-dad toking up.

The little NARC snapped some pictures, and Dad (who totally wasn’t motivated by revenge) sent the shots to the Cops. Mom and Step-dad were arrested, and now the house smells better. Irresponsibility of Mom aside, how scumbaggy is it for a parent use their kid to NARC on their other parent?

Good thing little Billy/Bobby/Joey didn’t overhear his parents banging.

Read: 11 year old takes pictures of parents smoking pot and sends them to police —

"Bitch, I know you can't count, but they're only 2 puffs in puff-puff-give.."Â


Young Tranny

California – At what age do you let your son become the girl he always wanted to be? I won’t pretend to understand what goes on in the head of someone with “gender disorder”, but I can’t imagine it’s easy if you actually make that transition in life.

But Dannan Tyler, 8, has always insisted he was a girl. From the age of 2, he cried when people called him a boy, and was miserable every time his girlie toys were made fun of. By age 6 the bullying led to Dannan threatening to hang himself. Dannan’s parents finally decided to let him grow his hair out, wear dresses and become Dana. Now Dana is happier than ever, a completely healthy 8 year old girl?

When my brother was 4, he wanted to be Jaws. Should my parents let him be a great white shark? Probably not, but many scientists much smarter than I say that “Gender Disorder” is a real thing. Some people are just wired differently. I’m against letting a young child take such a drastic course of action, but I guess if a 6 year old talks repeatedly about suicide, anything is a better option.

Read: Transgender child happier living as girl —

He just really loves peeing sitting downÂ


That Makes Sense 

Eric Smith planned to propose to his girlfriend in style and had the perfect ring custom-made to her exact detailed specifications. Before he could pop the question, that ho-bag told Eric she was leaving him for another dude. So Eric did what every guy would do at this point, he had a breakdown. But his breakdown was so much cooler that what mine would be.

Eric had to wash his hands completely of the slut entire thing, so even the money he got back from exchanging the ring  had to go. Here’s where Eric and most of humanity differ…he spent the money on a custom built HALO suit.

Pretty awesome actually, and significantly more detailed than my William Wallace kilt I commissioned from Bed,Bath and Beyond. While the Master Chief get-up might help him get over the last girl, I can’t imagine this will help him get the next girl…unless she’s Asian and under 16.

Read: Man gets dumped, buys full suit of Halo armor —

Lady Gaga is taking it too far Â

WTF? Sand Castles

I’m not quite sure what it is about Sand Sculptures, but I left this damn page open for a couple days. It’s  mesmerizing.

When you ask yourself “How?”, you’ll thank me.

Read: Insane Sand Sculptures that I’m convinced were done by aliens —

Watch: How to make Sand sculptures —

Does it take more drugs to create this, or be mesmerized by this?Â


Fed Ex Dominos

Fed Ex has a new ad, and it might be the coolest thing you click all weekend. Or maybe I’m just that lame.


Friday Fun

PedoBear's cousin, Jerr-BearÂ

Has anyone seen my razorblades?...Harold, NO!!!!!!!"Â


"Hey lady, little help here. "

Does that keep her warm?

Odds on it being a woman driver?Â

Future Horn-ballsÂ

Aren't you cold?


Are all us men that pathetic or did Kim "sit in chocolate"?

OhaiÂ profile picÂ

Have a Horn-y Weekend

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