Crap you should read Thursday


This Bill Will Kill The Horn

Washington, DC — Congress is currently holding hearings on what are collectively known as the Internet Blacklist Bills. This is particularly Horn-worthy because this will kill the internet as we know it, and bring the Horn down with it. While “intended” to combat piracy in Entertainment, the Bills actually gives corporations the right to shut down sites that post or link to their copyrighted material without expressed permission (paying for it). According to

Internet Service Providers could be forced to block social media sites, search engines could be required to delete results, and startups could lose their funding — all on the whim of the copyright holder. Perhaps most distressing of all, however, is the fact that this bill, in true Orwellian fashion, does nothing to prevent actual piracy. The only thing it will succeed in doing is turning the Internet into a dystopic plutocracy where people are no longer free to share ideas and be creative for fear of running afoul of Big Business.

It’s censorship. This bill would allow corporations to censor anyone who posts material they don’t like. It also means that only people who pay the tolls can share on the information superhighway. So once again, information will only be shared by those with money, and those trying to push their agenda with money. So long Fair Use and Freedom of Information.

Just about EVERYTHING we do here on the Horn would become illegal. We share information, we don’t buy it or sell it. We post links and videos that sometimes contain copyrighted music or clips that should have been paid for by the person who made the video. But in posting it, I’d be considered an accomplice. The Horn would get shut down under these rules. We’d go bankrupt paying fines or complying with civil suits. We could be imprisoned.

Granted, it sucks that entertainment companies are losing money to piracy, but this proposed legislation goes way too far to protect their investments. There are certainly less damaging and restrictive ways to fight internet piracy.

Click below to find out what you can to do to help stop this bullcrap bill that looks like it will pass easily.

READ: The Anti-Piracy Bill will kill the public Internet —

Watch: PROTECT IP Act Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future


Stupor Committee

Washington, DC — After the Debt Ceiling debacle, it became obvious that the entirety of Congress, playing their dangerous political games, couldn’t be trusted to handle trimming the deficit.  Therefore a Super Committee of 6 Reps and 6 Dems was created to jump across party lines and fast track a process to cut $1.5 trillion from the deficit with responsible budgets cuts and revenue (tax) increases. If they can’t come to an agreement (by next week’s deadline) automatic measures will kick in and trigger 1.2 trillion in deficit reduction, mostly from huge cuts in defense spending and Medicare. Many don’t want to arbitrarily and irresponsibly cut defense or medicare too greatly, so this was seen as a way to entice these policians to get their ass in gear.

Did the enticement work? Of course not. Every single person in America knew the Republicans wouldn’t budge on anything that resembled a tax increase, and that Democrats would insist on eliminating tax loopholes and the irresponsible Bush Tax cuts. This Super Committee was created to pass the time so Democrats could brag that they tried and Republicans could brag that they were nice enough to sit at the table.

With imminent failure on the horizon, are the parties working harder to bridge the gap? Nope. Now Republicans have switched gears and now proudly point out that even with no agreement, at least $1.2 trillion in automatic cuts will still result. Failing is a good thing! But now they want to tinker with the auto-cuts to make failure more amenable, and less damaging to Defense spending, etc. Rather than working on a fix, they’d rather just Fail but make the punishment nicer.

Leave it to Congress to try to spin Failure as a good thing.

Read: Super Committee Republicans get ready to fail —

Too Big To Fail...without a smileÂ


WTF? White House Shooter

Pennsylvania — In this week’s edition of WTF Were You Thinking?, someone took a shot at the White House last Friday and the bullet actually hit a residence window. That someone was apparently Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez. Secret Service say Ortega-Hernandez took the shot, then took off in car which he ditched at the Theodore Roosevelt Bridge, before he escaped on foot into Virginia. Cops found his abandoned ride, pieced together the clues and eventually arrested Oscar in Pennsylvania.

Oskie-boy was reported missing from Idaho back on Halloween, but its not yet known what prompted him to pop off the bullets towards the White House. The Obamas weren’t home, so no one was in danger, but its still a pretty damn dumb thing to do. Given that the Secret Service originally went looking for Ortega-Hernandez in Occupy protester camps, I can’t wait to see how this is going to turn into a “see how dangerous the Protesters are?” situation.

AFTERNOON UPDATE: Ortega-Hernandez has officially been charged with attempted assassination of the President. Apparently the guy “hates the president, he hates Washington, he hates society.” I wonder if he hates prison….

Read: White House Shooter Arrested

Oscar's "Movember" pledges just sky-rocketed from Republican donationsÂ


Bully Teacher

New Jersey — Julio Artuz was sick of getting bullied…by his teacher. Sure, the teacher is a special-education teacher, and Artuz, 15, is a special-needs student, but that didn’t stop the teacher from being an asshole. Artuz was so fed up with the verbal abuse that he secretly filmed his teacher with his phone after asking his teach to stop calling him “Special”. We might find it to be a euphamism, but Artuz found it condescending. This simple request caused the teacher to lose it, and even threaten Julio. Here are some of the highlights:

Teacher: ‘What? Oh my God, f******g… What does the title on the front of that school say? Special education.’

Julio: ‘Just don’t call me special,’


Teacher: ‘What’s gonna happen to me? … I’ll say whatever I want to say. You don’t like it, oh well,’


Teacher: You know what, Jules? I’m gonna kick your ass.


Teacher: ‘I’ll kick your ass from here to kingdom come until I’m 80 years old.’

Julio: ‘Don’t threaten me.’

Teacher: ‘What are you going to do? What are you going to do?’

Its a shame that no one believed Julio until he captured the whole thing on film. The teacher is currently suspended and his case is under review by the Board of Education.  I’ll save them the time. There is no reasonable explanation for such behavior; the guy is a scumbag, fire his ass.

Read: Special Needs Student secretly video tapes teacher bullying him —


Skin Gun

This is just one of those wonderful inventions that seems so obvious, yet so sci-fi at the same time. What you’ll see below is a medical device that sprays a biological mixture that dries to form regenerative skin cells. The process works by extracting stem cells from the patient and mixing it in with the chemical compound that’s sprayed directly onto the patient’s burn areas.

What used to take weeks of dangerous (and often rejected) treatment, now takes a mere couple days. While still in the experimental stages, the skin gun has already proved successful on dozens of patients.

Besides the brilliant life-saving uses, I wonder if this will eventually go commercial. Think of the money to be made with this scientific bukakee to rejuvenate wrinkly old-lady skin; Lindsay Lohan could look 24 again!

Read: Spray on skin is real —


Naked Justice

Providencia, Mexico — Some douche tried to steal an old woman’s purse, but was quickly stopped by others nearby. The good samaritans quickly turned into an unruly mob once they decided to enact their own punishment…stripping the dude naked.

He fought it, but just like my dates, he gave in. He tried to jump into passing cars, but no one wanted to stop for his naked ass. That cops eventually stopped and were nice enough to give him a ride to his new cell.

Are mob punishments a good thing? Should the public take justice into their own hands? Is naked vigilantism on the rise, and why do I need to commit a crime to get stripped naked in public?

Read: Laughing mob strips handbag thief and leaves him in street



Thursday Dedication 

Now that she’s no longer dating me Leo DiCaprio, I want to ensure Bar Rafaeli doesn’t fall out of the public eye. In honor of this Bar Mitzvah,  I give you 13 lovely images of this Israeli goddess.

Mazel Tov.







Have a Horn-y Thursday

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One Comment

  1. Bar Rafaeli = BEST FALAFEL