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Crap you should read Hump Day

Daily Darwinism Reminder

 

Occupy Some Other Street

NYC — It’s just so tough to Occupy a Street these days. Mayor Bloomberg had the NYPD sneak up at 1am Tuesday morning to clear all protesters out of Zuccotti Park. The private Wall Street park has served as homebase for Occupiers since Sepetember, but Bloomberg insisted that the park had to be cleaned and disinfected from protester germs. Obviously this was a ploy by the City to redraw the rules of the game, as protesters would be allowed to return to the park but without tents or camping gear. Without a place to crash, many assume the Occupiers would be lost.

A local Judge immediately ruled that the City couldn’t keep protesters from the park, and that they were allowed to bring their camping gear. The City didn’t accept this ruling, and good thing they didn’t, because the NY State Supreme Court later ruled the City’s restrictions were acceptable, because the protesters were keeping other NYCers from enjoying the wonders of Zuccotti Park.

Obviously the Occupy movement is bigger than some park, but now New Yawkers will have to figure out how to keep the momentum going without their home-base. Occupiers in Seattle and Portland are managing after similar evictions, and have found ways to mobilize and protest without the prime housing location. In all cases, these are big victories for the Banks and Financial institutions who pray for the end of these riots before they have to make any significant changes to how they rape make money off Americans.

Read: Occupy Seattle and Portland go mobile — LA Times

Read: Court orders Zuccotti Park non-campable — LA Times

Occupy the HornÂ

 

Everyone’s an Online Criminal

Gawker says that the White House is trying to push some pretty strenuous Computer Fraud and Abuse laws that would basically criminalize abuses of the Terms of Service you click “yes” to without reading. The government claims this would give businesses greater confidence to use the internet as a means of commerce, but in practice everyday users could be arrested for doing any number of benign things.

Gawker points out that if such laws are enforced, someone could be arrested for providing  “any false personal information” on Facebook (do you really LIKE Twilight?), or for Googling while under the age of 17 (no more Halo cheats), or even for giving any “inaccurate, misleading, or false information” on Match.com (are you really “average” weight?).

While this sounds nice for people sick of seeing getting duped by profile-pic cropping out 250 pound behemoths, should internet liars really be arrested? Why is it acceptable to lie to a girl in a bar about your kick-ass job as a movie producer, but illegal to type the same BS on the intraweb? Does E-Harmony really need this protection?

Plus, no one reads the terms of service. Is it fair to expect a layperson to understand everything they click “yes” to? Its nice to hold users accountable if the company wants to use violations to kick people off sites, but to criminalize such behavior is ludacris.

If lying on the internet will be illegal, does that mean FoxNews.com will soon be offline?

Read: Your online dating lies could land you in jail — Gawker.com

You're goin away lady! For a looooong timeÂ

 

Gaming is a Grey Matter Area

Belgium — Scientists have concluded that video game addicts might have larger brains. A study was conducted on 14 year olds (boys and girls) and the results showed grey matter in the ventral striatum area of the brain was significantly larger in those who spend more than 9 hours a day playing video games. They don’t know if the stats prove that gaming makes this area of the brain larger, or if people with already-large grey matter are just more likely to play video games.

This area of the brain “affects the interplay of emotions and behavior”, and is known to increase in activity with respect to gambling addicts. Similar increased activity was shown in gamers when they were “losing”, which also led scientists to apply addictive theories to gaming.

Not for nothing, if they’re saying that gamer’s brains get bigger when they’re losing, my years of using the Dolphins all these years in Madden paid off.

Read: Video Game study suggests link between gaming and addiction and increased brain matter – LA Times

"Ready for your brain to get bigger? Just take it off before you watch "Gia", trust me..."

 

Professor Whackit

Chicago — Paul LaDuke loves to teach. He also loves to masturbate behind the podium during class. The 75 year old Math teacher at Schaumburg Christian School was arrested after a student reported LaDuke unzipped his pants and played with his Teacher’s Pet…all while kids were in the classroom.

Further investigation found that LaDuke may have done this repeatedly over the last 10 years or so. When asked his thoughts, LaDuke was just happy that kids were paying attention in class.

This also explains all those Jackson Pollack “liquid-chalk” sketches on the blackboard.

Read: Teacher caught masturbating behind  podium during class — Chicago.CBSlocal.com

"When VIagra calls, I listen..."Â

 

This Kid Can Paint

There really isn’t much to say about 16 year old Akiane, other than she’s a painting prodigy. Akiane started her art at 4, was awesome by 6, and now at age 16 her paintings look like photographs.

Pretty damn cool, but certainly makes you feel like a loser. Hey bub, what the hell are you doing with your life?

Read: Young Artist’s amazing progression — The Chive

She did this at age 7. I could barely write my name in block letters

 

WTF did he say?

Ireland — Announcers can certainly make the sporting event better, especially when that announcer is Irish. I’m not sure if its more fun because they’re usually hammered, or because you can’t understand a damn word, but bottom line, Irish announcers make Gus Johnson seem like a lathargic stoner.

Fortunately Deadspin has translated a hilarious clip of what’s supposed to be an exciting Rugby match for us. The original unintelligible video is below, but click here here to watch the hysterical translation.

Grab some Guinness and enjoy. WAHPA-GAL-PUH-GOAL!

Watch: Translation of Irish Rubgy Match — Deadspin.com

I love Under-boob

There is just something so magical about the underboob. Maybe it has something to do with a sneak peak, maybe it has something to do with the lack of good support, but either way, underboob is the doorway to the soul.

Complex.com put together a respectful, classy montage of the best 50 underboob shots of all time. And you thought you hated Wednesdays…

Ogle:  50 hottest under-boobs of all time — Complex.com

Love the way you lie with your underboob hanging out

 

Hump Day Horn-iness

Have a Horn-y Hump Day

Follow The Ryno on Facebook and Twitter or email ryno@therynoshorn.com

3 Comments

  1. These Hump Days are STILL making me Horny

    Keep up the good work

  2. Personally, I’m glad the occupiers are out of the park. It was like a self imposed ghetto and I can’t imagine that many hippies in on central location was good for the city’s smell!

    While I think that stricter rules for lying online may help I think it’s a bit overkill. Funny enough that pic you have up look like a girl I met on match. Imagine my shock when I met her in person!!

    Lastly, when it comes to gamers having larger brains… Did you just post that up so you could say your brain is larger than mine because you game more than I do? Does that also mean you were trying to grow my brain all those times you kicked my arse with Teebow?!?

  3. Great job Ryno! Sandusky has nothing on you, perv

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