Crap you should read 11/11/11



11-11-11….Your wish came true. The Crap is here….


Occupy Bachmann

South Carolina — Michele Bachmann addressed a room full of veterans earlier this week when protesters mixed in among the crowd stood up and started chanting. Using the Human Microphone technique favored by the Occupy protesters, the group sounded off with their “this will only take a minute” then started in on the Minnesota Congresswoman about income inequality and blasting her divisive/hateful campaign.

After a minute or so of commanding the stage, the chanting protesters were removed without incident while needlessly reminding everyone that they are the 99%. To Bachmann’s credit, she didn’t return to the podium all flustered or pissed off, but rather all smiles and Constitution-y:

Thank you for your patience. Dont you just love the 1st Amendment? It’s great, we have a great country and I want to thank you all for your understanding. God Bless you.

My big problem with the whole thing is that these protestors have no idea how to gauge an audience. By the time they stood up, the rest of the people in the crowd were yelling at them to sit down and shut up. The crowd was filled with veterans, etc, people who obviously fall in the 99%, but they hated everything the protesters had to say. You know you’re message is failing when the very people you’re fighting for boo you off stage and tell you to get the hell out of town.

If you’re in a room with Michele Bachmann, and you’re the one they want to kick out the room, its time to get a new PR guy.

Read: Occupy Protesters briefly force Michele Bachmann off stage — Washington Post


Why is McQueary Still Around?

Pennsylvania — Heads are rolling at Penn State in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse scandal and the resulting cover-up.

Back in 2002, graduate assistant Mike McQueary entered the PSU locker room, and heard a loud smacking coming from the team shower. The source of the shower noise turned out to be Sandusky ass-raping a 10 year old boy. Horrified, McQueary ran outside and called his dad to ask what he should do. After contemplation, he told Coach Paterno what he saw.

As we all now now, Paterno told some people upstairs, and they tried to sweep it under the rug. Now everyone is losing their jobs, except the current Receiver’s coach, Mike McQueary. WTF?

Forget about turning a blind eye to rumors, McQueary walked in on Sandusky ruining a kid’s life, and anus. Why didn’t McQueary save the poor kid? Why did he sneak out and call his dad? Why didn’t he beat the living crap out of Sandusky? Why didn’t he call the cops?

If everyone else is being fired for passing the buck and looking the other way, why hasn’t McQueary? He might be the worst offender of them all.

UPDATE: As of Friday evening, Penn State has placed McQueary on Administrative leave. This is not an outright termination as he will still collect pay and could still be reinstated. Some wonder why he wasn’t fired, but the school’s inconsistency could be explained by whistle-blower protection laws in  exchange for testimony against Sandusky.

Seriously, read: Grand Jury Report — New York Times

Read: Why does Mike McQueary still have a job at Penn State? —

"So what does 'Donkey Punch' mean again?"


Blogger Beheading

Mexico — Blogging is a dangerous profession. I often need someone to help me shake off all the women who throw themselves at me. In Mexico, bloggers face a different danger, namely gruesome death.

Such was the case for Rascatripas (Belly Scratcher), a blogger who posted information on the Nuevo Laredo drug trade. Needless to say, the Cartel doesn’t like it when people try to kill their business, so they cut the problem off at the head. Or rather cut off the problem’s head.

Rascatripas decapitated body was found in the middle of a public square, under a blanker with a note that read:

‘This happened to me for not understanding that I shouldn’t report on the social networks.’

This is 4th blogger-murder in Nuevo Laredo since September; the same town where two bloggers were disemboweled and hung from a bridge. The cartels hope the violence will serve as a warning to others to stop trying to blow their spot. They’re probably also trying to save face after Anonymous kicked them in balls last week threatening to release cartel information if an Anonymous hostage wasn’t released.

Sure the violence has stepped up a notch, but I doubt it will deter those who are determined to bring down the cartels. I’m certainly not condoning the methods, but I am certainly hoping that Perez Hilton travels to Mexico.

Read: Blogger beheaded by Mexican Cartels —

This will serve as a warning to wear better underwear if you're going to die.


Voting Gets You Laid

Russia — If you thought watching Herman Cain creepily smile into the camera was sexy, then you are going to positively blow your load when you see what Vladimir Putin’s United Russia party passes off as a Get Out and Vote campaign.

This TV ad features a chick and a dude, both just extremely turned on by their participation in the democratic process. Sure they’re the only two people at the polling station, so it looks like no one in Russia actually votes, but the implied message is obvious: Voting will get you laid.

This sexy ad seems to really cross the lines as to WHY one should exercise their fundamental right to bang in a voting booth, but its ok, they’re Russian so they’re probably drunk. Even still, this ad isn’t as uncomfortable as one shown in Spain (below) when a woman has an orgasm while stuffing her ballot box.

Watch both below. I’m The Ryno, and I support these messages.

Read: Russia Sexy voting ad —


Marlins Unveiling

Miami— The Marlins will look like crap in 2012, and it has nothing to do with the on-field product. The Fish are staring off fresh in 2012 with a new stadium, new logo and new uniforms. The new look was leaked weeks ago, and many hoped it was a horrible joke, much like the automated home-run sculpture in center field.

Unfortunately, this seems pretty damn real. While change usually takes a bit to get used to, the unis look horrible. The color scheme is distracting and won’t look good on anything they sell. And I’ll stand by a previous statement I made that the new “M” logo looks like it was sketched by an autistic kid with crayons on a Macaroni Grill table cloth.

The bizarre thing is that the Marlins spent their existence playing in a stadium filled with orange seats, yet their colors were black and teal. Now they have a stadium of blue seats and they switch to orange. Marlins President Dave Sampson says the bold, striking colors reflect everything that Miami represents. I’m not sure how these uniforms represent sunshine, cocaine and fake boobs, but I can’t wait to see Ozzie Guillen looking like an orange Grimace.

Read: Miami Marlins unveil new logo and more —


Rhino Love 

The Western African Black Rhino is officially extinct. A WWF search was unable to find any of this subspecies in their natural habitat. With this subspecies gone, there are only around 4200 Black Rhinos left in the wild.

Last Weekend I told you about a kickass airlift effort to save other Black Rhinos and remove them to a protected habitat. With over 350 Black Rhinos saved so far, I’m glad someone is doing their best Oskar Schindler for my horny brethren.

Check out the new video of the airlift below.


Dolphin Cheer

The Miami Dolphins suck, and as good luck would have it, their cheerleaders do as well not. Thankfully the folks at The Brigage put together a nice little photo spread of the Fins’ Finest to make us forget how bad our team is.

Read: Dear Lord, Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders — The

Can she play QB?

Suck for.....who again?



Friday Fun

Motivation Â

"That's the one..."Â

Food Fight!!!!

Yes, let's.Â



Drowning by metaphorÂ

C-Nasty's dream girlÂ

Horn-y ActivismÂ

"So, wanna come over and watch Red Zone Channel?"Â

Great tasteÂ


Have a Horn-y Weekend

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