Crap you should read Tuesday

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Barry’s Big Mouth

Cannes — So what do Presidents talk about when the Microphones aren’t on? Who knows because THE MICS ARE ALWAYS ON!!! This was a harsh lesson for President Obama and French President Nicolas Sarkozy who got a little candid at the G20 conference while still mic’d up.

After speaking to the G20 audience, the Presidents retired to a private room and started yammering like bitchy school girls. According to YNet News:

The conversation apparently began with President Obama criticizing Sarkozy for not having warned him that France would be voting in favor of the Palestinian membership bid in UNESCO despite Washington’s strong objection to the move.

The conversation then drifted to Netanyahu, at which time Sarkozy declared: “I cannot stand him. He is a liar.” According to the report, Obama replied: “You’re fed up with him, but I have to deal with him every day!”

Ouch. Its no secret the French aren’t Jew-lovers, but Bibi can’t be too happy to hear his name disgraced by his “greatest ally”, the United States.

Though every Israel supporter knows full well that Netenyahu ruffles feathers, Obama will take a HUGE hit from the Jew community for these words. The implication that Netenyahu is an annoying, lying complainer also undermines Israel’s current stances on a Palestinian state and especially on what to do with Iran. Obama is often attacked (usually wrongfully) for not being a true friend to Israel, and these candid words won’t do anything to help that image.

Of course, Israel can’t speak out and play indignant because they’re in dire need of US and international backing. So Netenyahu will have to grin and bear it, and pretend like everything is honky-dory with big brother America. This is so bush-league its embarrassing, and will be very interesting to see how this plays out diplomatically behind closed doors.

Read: Obama & Sarkozy caught privately bitching about Netenyahu when mikes left on —

"Hey Racist. I don't do 'Daps', I shake hands."Â


Cain in Her Ass

For the last week, Herman Cain has insisted that he’s innocent of all wrongdoing in regards to “Rumors” that he settled numerous sexual harrassment claims back in the 1990s while with the National Restaraunt Assoc. Of course he did settle sexual harrassment claims, so its not a rumor, but don’t let that stop Herm from playing the victim.

Cain wants us to believe that two, three four woman are all lying, and that their downright lies and false allegations actually stem from the evil scheming of…well take your pick: a) the mainstream media, b) racists, c) Chad Henne, d) people scared of Herman Cain, or e) Rick Perry. To further those “liberal” and “lying” news outlets had the nerve to show, on camera, a press conference with a 4th accuser, Sharon Bialek. How dare they?!?

Bialek addressed the media at the Friar’s Club (was there a less Comedic place to hold such a serious press conference?) and her story doesn’t bode well for the GOP candidate. Super attention-whore-lawyer Gloria Allred was on hand because cameras were there to introduce her client who apparently lost her job at the National Restaraunt Association but went back to former employer Cain for a job. As Allred tells it, “Mr. Cain instead decided to try to provide her with his idea of a stimulus package.” Stay classy, Gloria

After Gloria dropped enough soundbites to ensure she made the evening news, Bialek took the podium and elaborated how she and Cain set a day to meet, and Herm was nice enough to set her up in a sweet hotel suite for the occasion. When they finally did get together, Cain allegedly put his hand on her leg “reached for [her] genitals” then pushed her head towards his crotch for what I’m sure wasn’t the universal signal for “does my zipper smell?” When Bialek didn’t comply, Cain asked “You want a job, right?”

Oh snap! That’s some pretty damaging crap right there. Cain has been quick to label Bialek a liar, and she must be because all die-hard Liberals are liars. Wait, she’s a card carrying Republican? Damn. Well then she’s just in it for the money. Wait, she’s not suing Cain or cutting a book deal? Damn it, what the heck can Cain claim is this woman’s motivation for lying?

“Come clean about what you did…Mr. Cain, I implore you, make this right.”

Oh, she wants him to do the right thing. How exactly does she see that unfolding? Does Bialek think he’ll just change course and admit his wrongdoings? Or will Mr. Cain just walk away from his campaign because she asked nicely? No chance. He wants a job, right?

Read: Herman Cain’s 4th accuser goes public, makes serious allegations —

Hey Sharon, you're telling the world about this horrible moment in your life, maybe cut back on the "I'm loving the attention" smilesÂ


This is It

Los Angeles — Dr. Conrad Murray was found guilty on Tuesday of involuntary manslaughter in the death of Michael Jackson. The jury decided that the Dr. Murray was criminally negiligent in using the anesthetic Propofol to treat Jackson’s insomnia, and that negligence led to MJ’s 2009 death. Although many saw the guilty verdict as a forgone conclusion, turns out nobody told that to Cable news who pumped this thing as if OJ was on trial for raping the Lindbergh baby.

Why does America have such a hard-on for “dramatic” trials? Crimes are committed every day, but no one heads down to the courthouse to randomly check out the Hernandez 7-11 Armed Robbery. We have this yearning for true crime because Cable News insists its all important, mainly for their own financial gain. These trials are built-in programming that lasts for months at a time. From the prelimary hearing all the way through trial, Networks get a limited run TV show with loyal viewers who scrutinize every piece of evidence with the keen legal instincts taught to them by Colombo and Matlock.

Bottom line, Propofol is supposed to be administered in a hospital with supervision. Its criminal to leave such drugs with an unlicensed person, not to mention to adminster it as often and in the doses which Murray allowed. Its sad because Murray was just working at the insistence of Jacko, and no one ever said No to MJ. Doctors must be held to a higher standard. Medicine cannot be dictated by the patient, no matter how famous they are.

Read: Conrad Murray’s guilty verdict feels more sad than satisfying in cable news coverage  —

Murray has a few years to look at the Man in the Mirror.Â


Goodnight, Iran

The International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) is going to release a report to the UN this week that is expected to further illustrate just how egregiously Iran is lying about the “peacefulness” of their nuclear program.

Iran has plead innocence for years, but the IAEA report details the lengths Iran has gone through to accomplish their goal of becoming a nuclear power and standing up the the Zionists and the West. The report says that Russian nuclear scientist Vyacheslav Danilenko spent at least 5 years lecturing and teaching Iran’s Physics Research Centre how to create a the proper explosives for a nuclear warhead. While they supposedly haven’t created a detonation system yet, they’re allegedly prepated enough to do so quickly when the time comes. The report also details how Iran sought to miniaturize a Pakistani weapon design to fit on it’s ballistic missiles.

Obviously Iran denies every single word of the report, but are doing so while crossing all fingers and toes. But can anything be done to stop the Iran’s militarized nuclaer program? Nope. The United Nations is a big joke. Iran has already weathered 4 rounds of sanctions (they’ll be hit with a 5th round after the report comes out) but they still do whatever the hell they want.

That leaves Israel and the US. Israel has a history of blowing up nuclear reactors (Iraq, Syria) to keep them from producing weapons grade nuclear material, but such an attack would be foolish here. The Iranian nuclear projects are spread all throughout the country, many buried deep within mountains; a direct attack would cause little damage to the nuclear infrastructure but cause HUGE damage to Israeli or US reputations. Last week rumors had Israel planning an imminent attack, but many feel that Israel leaked that info to light a fire under the international community’s ass.

So will the US or Israel do anything to keep the country that pledges their death and destruction from following through? No. They’re hamstrung by other nations who wrongfully believe that Iran will respond to diplomacy but not force.

That leaves the world with one recourse: asking nicely. Unfortunately, Iran will never bow to the diplomatic cries of “Stop! Or I’ll say “stop” again!”

Read: IAEA Report to stir up trouble with Iran over nuclear program —

"With this powerful weapon of Allah, I can turn back time to pre-1948, and the Zionists  will never take control. Then we'd finally rid ourselves of irrigation, social development and democratic rule forever!"Â


 Occupying Occupy

Oakland — The Occupy protests have largely been a civil movement, but for some reason that hasn’t exactly been the case in Oakland. We’ve all seen the footage of the protests erupting into violence, and the ridiculously devastating police retaliation.

Of course those who try to belittle the protests are using these images as “proof” that the Occupy movement is a violent powder-keg waiting to explode. Yet a closer look at uprisings show that most of the agitators are using Black Bloc tactics. The telltale signs are the black outfits, black bandannas and backpacks for paint, clubs, and other hell-raising utensils. Many incorrectly identify the Black Bloc as an organized sect, but its actually just a tactic adopted by people who WANT to step things up a notch. According to Wikipedia:

Tactics of a black bloc can include vandalism, rioting and street fighting, demonstrating without a permit, misleading the authorities, assisting in the escape of people arrested by the police, administering first aid to persons affected by tear gas in areas where protesters are barred from entering, building barricades, and resisting the police. Property destruction carried out by black blocs tends to have symbolic significance: common targets include banks, institutional buildings, outlets for multinational corporations, gasoline stations, and video-surveillance cameras.

So these people aren’t really representatives of the whole movement, but agitators who actually show up with full intentions of starting some shit. So yeah, these tactics are bringing attention to the cause, but it certainly isn’t the attention they need.

One has to wonder, is this really a group of people with the nation’s best interests in mind, or are these Black Bloc guys sent in by anti-Occupiers who want to paint Occupy in a negative light?

Read: Is Black Bloc hijacking Occupy Oakland protests? —

Please Hammer, don't hurt the movement


Dark Knight Occupies Wall Street

New York City — Some cool footage was captured of riots breaking out in the streets of NYC, and fortunately it had nothing to do with the economy and everything to do with Christopher Nolan filming the Dark Knight Rises. The riots appear to be connected to the same footage we saw from Pittsburgh of a huge bruhahah taking place while Batman takes on Bane.

Its really crazy to see this unfold on the actual streets of the actual Gotham, but even more so considering the Occupy protests were taking place a couple blocks away.

I’m not sure you can tell, but my geeky Bat-ass is stoked for this movie.



More Dubstep Beatboxing

Yesterday I showed you the amazing beatbox skills of street performer David Crowe. This prompted a loyal Horn-y reader, Alex Nemiroff to send me a one-up video of Beardyman, who just might put Crowe to shame. There’s just something electric about watching this guy, as he expertly spits out beats and lyrics at the same time.

Things get especially awesome at the 5:30 mark when he starts busting into some MJ. Take a look and you can almost feel like your Rolling your face off with the rest of the audience.



Tuesday Dance Off

The Smitty Special

My Bad!

Another episode of "So You Think You Can Break Your Face?"Â

This is why Lionel Richie only danced on ceilings

Did Bush ever get bush with these moves?

Her sexy dancing gets everyone in the mood

Its a subtle dance...

LOOK OUT FOR THAT....bedroom?

Team Dance FAIL

Shakira: Winner

Have a Horn-y TuesdayÂ

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  1. Why’s it gotta be Hernandez robbing the 7-11?

  2. “Crimes are committed every day, but no one heads down to the courthouse to randomly check out the Hernandez 7-11 Armed Robbery”

    Always blaming the spick you racist bastard lol

    • I’m part Spanish, Prime Time. I’m allowed!