The Sherms NFL Week 9 Forecast

The Ravens  hope to recover the AFC North lead

 

by Ryan “The Sherms” Sherman

 

Due to a time crunch The Sherms is going to need to keep this week’s Recap short and sweet.

For the record, some of you Horn-y readers are probably wondering if I have any idea what I’m talking about, so I figured I’d go back and check my stats since I began my weekly prognostications.

My season (Weeks 6-8) stats are as follows:

Win/Loss Record Entering Week 9:                       23-15

Record With Point Spread Entering Week 9:        21-11-3

(Note: Predictions are made without knowing the point spread.  Judging by my stellar 21-11-3 record against the spread this approach seems to be working out well.)

 

Jets (4-3) at Bills (5-2)  ♣♣♣

Jets are lucky to have a winning record, but they won’t have one come Sunday night.  Sanchez gets trampled by the Bills’ stampede.

Prediction: Bills 27 – Jets 17 

 

Browns (3-4) at Texans (5-3)  ♣

This game will be a cake walk for the Texans.  Better yet, a Brownie walk.

Prediction: Texans 30 – Browns 13

 

 

Dolphins (0-7) v. Chiefs (4-3)  ♣

The Chiefs are on a four game winning streak, and coming off a dramatic win against AFC West rival Chargers on MNF.

The Dolphins are 0-7, and are Sucking for Luck.

Advantage: Chiefs.

 Prediction:  Chiefs 24 – Dolphins 13 

Stupid Dol-Fans will soon start making custom Luck jerseys, only to realize the Dolphins already retired #12

 

Seahawks (2-5) at Cowboys (3-4) ♣

The Cowboys backs are once again against the wall. They need a victory at home against the lowly Seahawks to enter the midway point of the season at .500, and with playoff hopes in tact.  Fortunately for the ‘Boys, the Seahawks are bad.

Prediction: Cowboys 27 – Seahawks 17

 

 

49ers (6-1) at Redskins (3-4)  ♣♣

I’m not sure how the Redskins managed to start 3-0, but I am sure that they won’t win 3 more games this season.  The QB duo of Grossman and Beck is pitiful.  In fact, the Skins would have a better chance of beating the 49ers if they (the ‘Skins) had the 49ers coach – Jim Harbaugh – behind center.

Frank Gore runs wild and the 49ers win this one in a landslide.

Prediction: 49ers 34 – Redskins 13

 

 

Buccaneers (4-3) at Saints (5-3)  ♣♣♣

This is a huge NFC South divisional game, as the Buccaneers can take hold of at least a tie for first place with a victory.  They beat the Saints a few weeks ago in Tampa, but Sunday in New Orleans will be different.  Saints win a close one, with a Drew Brees game winning TD pass in the final five minutes.  Josh Freeman will look sharp in defeat.

Prediction:  Saints 31 – Buccaneers 30

Who Dat with a hand in your face?

 

Falcons (4-3) at Colts (0-8) ♣

The Falcons need a win, and there are few more perfect opponents for that than the Manning-less Colts.  Falcons win this one easily, and the Colts stay a half a game ahead (though tied in the win column) of/with the Dolphins in the Suck for Luck Sweepstakes.

(Note:  I hope I’m wrong, and the Colts win.   Maybe Matty IcePick (get it?) will throw 3-4 interceptions, or bruise a shoulder in the 1st quarter and have to leave the game.  Go Colts!)

Prediction:  Falcons 27 – Colts 17

 

Broncos (2-5) v. Raiders (4-3)  ♣♣

The Broncos probably won’t win more than 1-2 more games this season, especially with Tim Tebow behind center.  I love Tebow, but he’s JUST NOT AN NFL QUARTERBACK.  Moreover, even if he could benefit from divine intervention, and/or fake being an NFL QB if he had a decent supporting cast, the team he currently has around him makes him look exponentially worse.  The fact that the Broncos traded away Brandon Lloyd, who would have been by far his best target, says it all.

On the other side of the coin, the Raiders have a major problem at QB; Kyle Boller is borderline unworthy of playing in the NFL, and Carson Palmer still has cobwebs to shake off.  That said, Palmer will probably return to 2005 form and light up the Broncos with 4 passing TDs.

Prediction:  Raiders 31 – Broncos 5

 

 

 Bengals (5-2) at Titans (4-3)  ♣♣♣

If you told me at the beginning of the season that this Week 9 matchup would have playoff implications for both of these teams, and that the Titans are 4-3 with Chris Johnson doing next to nothing, I’d inquire about what you were smoking.  I guess this is why they PLAY THE GAMES.

This week Andy Dalton will continue his solid and surprising rookie season by leading the Bengals to a nail-bitter win on the road.

Prediction:  Bengals 24 – Titans 23

 

Giants (5-2) v. Patriots (5-2)  ♣♣♣♣

The Patriots return home after an unimpressive performance, and defeat, in Pittsburg in Week 8.  The Giants are hindered at RB with Ahmad Bradshaw hurt and Brandon Jacobs washed up.   Look for the Brady Bunch to bounce back, and beat the Giants by two scores.

Prediction: Patriots 31 – Giants 20

I'm sure the Pats can find some motivation to beat the Giants this week

 

Packers (7-0) v. Chargers (4-3) ♣♣♣

Save for a scare by the Rams in Week 7, the Packers have consistently looked like the best team in football all season.  This week will be no different as Aaron Rodgers and the Packers O will run roughshod over the Chargers D.  On the other side of the ball Philip Rivers will continue to struggle, tallying 3 INTs in defeat.

 Prediction:  Packers 30 – Chargers 16

 

 Rams (1-6) at  Cardinals (1-6)  ♣§

This game has one important implication: the winner will effectively be eliminated from the Suck for Luck Sweepstakes.  Sorry St. Louis…at least you won the World Series.

Prediction:  Rams 24 – Cardinals 20

 

 

Ravens (5-2) at  Steelers (6-2) ♣♣♣♣

The Steelers look like the best team in the AFC over the past weeks, and will continue to do so in this AFC North Sunday Night Slugfest.  Ray Rice will run for two TDs and keep the game close, but Big Ben’s superiority over Joe Flacco will prove to be the difference in the end.

Prediction:  Steelers 27 – Ravens 20

 

Bears (4-3) at  Eagles (3-4) ♣♣♣

The Eagles seem to have finally put it all together, and they enter this must-win MNF game on a 2-game win streak.   Michael Vick, LeSean McCoy and Co. will each score two TDs and the Eagles will prove to have too much fire power for the Bears to keep up with.  Bears turn the ball over 4 times, and Cutler gets sacked 5 times.  Eagles win, and keep playoff hopes alive.

Prediction:  Eagles 30 – Bears 17

This is what happens when PitBull shows up to Eagles games

2 Comments

  1. “Bears turn the ball over 4 times, and Cutler gets sacked 5 times. Eagles win, and keep playoff hopes alive.

    Prediction: Eagles 30 – Bears 17”

    MUWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

    Sincerely,

    Mike

    • Hahaha! Let Sherms have it, Hard One! (pause)