Crap you should read Thursday



World’s Most Powerful Peeps

Forbes released its arbitrary list of the World’s 70 most powerful people. Who’s #1, you ask? It’s Barack Obama, and obviously the title of Most Powerful Man in the World has nothing to do with an ability to get good legislation passed. It probably has more to do with being the Commander in Chief of the greatest military in the history of the world. Taking out Osama bin Laden probably didn’t hurt (though you have to wonder where UBL would be on this list if he wasn’t chillin’ at the bottom of the ocean). Not Surprisingly Barry O is the only black person in the top 70.

This whole ranking thing has to really piss off the only Republican official on the list, #67 John Boehner, especially considering he was beat by a retired President that doesn’t do crap anymore (#50 Bill Clinton) and a Mexican drug lord (Sinaloa Cartel leader, #55 Joaquin Guzman Loera).

#2 as per Forbes is Vladimir Putin, and this leads me to believe that this whole Cold War thing is in for another round. China’s President Hu Jintau, is #3, so I guess running a country of a billion has its advantages. That must hold true considering Catholicism’s leader Pope Benedict XVI comes in #7 even though he has no friggin army; though it might be a nod to his ability to get child molesters off charges like whoa.

Germany’s Chancellor Angela Merkel is #4, making her the most powerful woman in the world that speaks a language that scares me to death. #16 Hillary Clinton (Secretary of State, US) wears the power-pants in her marriage, while #11 Sonia Ghandi (President, Indian National Congress) and #22 Dilma Rousseff (President, Brazil) and  #64 Jill Abramson (Exec Editor, New York Times) are the only other women on the list.

#5 Bill Gates has bragging power over #6 Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz al Saud, but the King just points to his harem and smiles while Bill looks at Melinda and shrugs. Fed Chairman Ben Berkanke comes in at #8 for holding the economy in his hands, while Mark Zuckerberg LIKES being the #9 most powerful person in the world.

How many more clicks do I need to get on that list?

Read: World’s 70 Most Powerful People —

"Don't tell Michelle about this, she might expect a little more out of me in the bedroom..."


States Create Jobs…for Chinese

When one talks politics these days, the conversation invariably falls to those wonderful key words: “job creation”. Its agreed that more jobs mean more money earned which means more money is spent. Good for everyone. Corporations love calling themselves “job creators” and use that as an excuse for government to stay out of their hair. Government says it is well suited to create thousands of jobs all the time, especially with big, labor intensive infrastructure projects like bridges, roads, etc. So this all makes me ask, why are so many of the huge reconstruction projects taking place right now (New York’s Alexander Hamilton Bridge, Alaska’s Tanana River Bridge Crossing, California’s Oakland Bay Bridge) going to Chinese firms and Chinese workers rather than American workers? In the end, the answer is always the same: Money.

Take for example the case of the new $7.2 billion bridge built to span the bay between San Fran and Oakland. The State of California rejected Federal infrastructure funds so they could save money and use Chinese state-run firms to fabricate the steal and assemble the bridge. China pays their workers crap and demands quick completion times (or else?), but that’s the advantage of not having to worry about unions or human rights. California says they saved almost a half-billion dollars going with China on this one, but in doing so jipped about 3000 jobs from their citizens. Fair trade my ass.

How is this even legal? In today’s economy how can States ship their jobs overseas? State money comes from its citizens, so why is that money going to pay China rather than back into the pockets of American citizens?

Read:  US States shipping infrastructure jobs to China — ABC News

Watch: Chinese firms building bridges and roads here in US –ABCNews

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player


Pay to Play

On October 27th the NCAA opened up the door to finally compensate football players with more than “a great education, son.” The NCAA passed a resolution allowing Conferences the choice of whether or not they want to pay college football players a $2k stipend a year. The way they see it, the NCAA and the schools are raking in billions, but players scarifice their lives and their time, but don’t make a penny.

Many say that compensating players is a long time coming, but others see the move as foretelling the end of the NCAA as we know it. They say budgeting to pay the football players will kill the budgets for other sports, and of course tilt the competitive balance to the Conferences that will agree to pay the players. The better Coaches will likely head to the schools with the better players, and those better players will likely be at the schools where they can get some extra cash.

Personally, although I hate the idea that the super-conferences just got more super (or do I? Go Gators!), I think amateurism for participants is a hoax once the industry is making billions of dollars. How can you say the kid is “professional” enough to warrant making $2k, but then say he didn’t do enough to get a bigger piece of the billions he helped earn for his “employer”? Such employment practices would fail in any other billion dollar industry, so why is it accepted in our educational institutions? Shouldn’t schools be preparing kids for the future, not stymieing actual earnings?

Read: The Beginning of the end of the NCAA —

Read: 7 reasons the $2000 stipend will bust college sports — Bleacher Report

"Wait, so you're saying we we'rent getting paid before?"


Oil Boom-Boomtown?

Williston, ND — The oil boom in North Dakota has brought a lot of money to a lot of oil workers. Turns out that black gold means lots of green for strippers now that the town is filled with men with plenty of cash to spend. One can only spend so much money on flannel and Mountain Dew, so boobies and clear heels are the next best thing.

Some “studies” (meaning interviews with exaggerating Dancers) say Williston’s finest dancers earn around $2,000 a night. That’s some big bucks for a single girl; can buy you a mansion in ND, as well as plenty of Meth. Even still its nice to see real “job creation” in these tough times! See, big oil isn’t all bad…they like boobies too!

Does anyone doubt that The King just picked up his phone and said “Siri, find me application for Oil jobs in North Dakota please…”

Read: Strippers earning $2000/night in North Dakota Town thriving oil boom — NY Daily News

" I says to her, sorry honey, but you can try to pump ME for oil!"


Bad-Asses of the Day

Brazil — Holy Shnikes, this next video is awe-some. Two Brazillian cops (we’ll call them Miguel Lowrey and Marcello Burnetto), took down a small plane smuggling electronics by ramming the friggin thing with their SUV.

5 arrests, $150,000 in stolen goods, one broken windshield, and one badass video.


Murmation Mesmerization

Bird Trivia: A collection of starlings swirling about in the air is called a murmation. This would probably remain useless trivia if the murmation wasn’t so hypnotic to watch. The waves of foraging birds have nothing to do with visceral beauty, but rather all-out survival. The birds are “dancing” to avoid being the one on the outside, or the first bird to land, because they’d be the easiest targets for predators. So the birds mirror the other’s move to avoid becoming dinner.

Their movements are so quick and precise, but how do they all move virtually simultaneously? They don’t talk, so is  there some other form of communication or psychic sensing of movements? Studies of such behavior are useful for scientists who see the behavior patterns as a model for nanotechnology — how to make millions of tiny-brained machines (a flock, if you will) move in unison. If this sounds familiar, it was the basis of Michael Crichton’s Prey.

But am I the only one who expects the murmation to transform into a face and start speaking to the canoe girls?

Watch: Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.


Pandas can be Jerks

I guess asshole-ity isn’t a trait exclusive to the human race. Check out the video below to see how pandas like to fuck with each other.

There is no way this was just an accident, unless this zoo is actually a Panda fraternity house and one Panda just fell asleep drunk in the crapper. I’ve seen it happen a million times.


Thursday Dedication 

This week belongs to Emmanuelle Chriqui. The Jewish-Canadian goddess has teased us for years like we’re all Eric Murphy, but whatever she’s done has worked. I’m smitten worse that Zohan, so let’s hope Emmanuelle will helps us all make this Thursday a little Horn-ier…

Have a Horn-y Thursday


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  1. It’s been a while since I’ve posted here, but since midterms are over I thought I would toss my cents in once again!

    For starters, the Pope has an army, the Swiss Guard. We won’t count the Knights of Columbus as they’re only in the US and the only bragging right they have is the Pope Mobile. I would be interested in knowing how much of that power is associated with the title of being “Pope”. The last one did A LOT of good, but this latest one…not so much.

    In regards to the Chinese “stealing” our jobs: give them some wiggle room. They helped build our railroads (or we helped THEM build them) back in the day. Who do you think we’re going to get to build our railways now? The estimated cost is 98 BILLION ( and a completion time of 20 years. Don’t you think we could cut that time down if we have them help us again?? You may be in Florida, but the world centers around California. Duuuuuuuh!

    I don’t know about the cuts that other schools have suffered, but considering the economy as a whole I would assume that everyone is struggling in the area of education at the moment. Or maybe California is just dumber than all the other states in the union (which isn’t out of the realm of reality). In any case, I applaud the approval of a 2k stipend, it lets student-athletes feel better about the crap loads of money that they make a year; 2k is legit! It’s tantamount to finding a new write-off for your taxes. Their focus should be on performance, not grades or financing. Full scholarship AND 2k a year?! Heck yeah!! That’s enough to pay for what, at least ONE weekend’s bar tab?! Just remember to Teebow before every shot and you’ll be okay. If you don’t, you’ll end up like Job, halfway through his story.

    Lastly in regards to the dancers, and the “studies” pertaining to them. I can corroborate that data. Oh wait, I was in Vegas and they actually make money there. In all seriousness, some of these girls will drive out from California to Nevada and make about 3-5k a night. I would assume that the 2k in Colorado wouldn’t be too far-fetched. Granted it’s not the same environment, but psychologically it can be. A guy looking for work in that area is sending his money back home and has a hall pass in his mind. He is, after all, a guy. Why not drop what you can on a girl, can you imagine what she has to do to earn that 2k a night?!? Vegas, sure, 2k will get you a drink and a smile… Colorado though? Lord have mercy!!

    • Julio — The Chinese who built our railroads were Chinese Immigrants that went on to become Americans. These are Chinese citizens and the money all goes to China. I’m not even saying that private individuals here in America can’t use Chinese firms, but the STATE, using public money should ONLY use American workers when possible. This goes doubly so in a time of such heavy unemployment

    • Julio — as for the student athlete issue, I personally feel that the players deserve more, but the problem becomes how do you treat ALL Division 1 schools equally when some will be able to pay players and other schools can’t?

  2. You can’t pay all students equally, some schools are better than others. Some students are better than others. Why is it that student-athletes deserve money for a service that they provide for a school? They’re getting a free education, by paying for extra all you’re doing is setting up the NCAA as a breeding ground for talent not an educational system to better our future.

    In regards to where the money is going (here vs China), where do you think the products you buy are made anyways? In the long run we’re supporting our own buying habits by giving money to the largest manufacturer of American bought items.

    Aside from which, we still have the argument of WHICH jobs are going out there? You have numerous “occupiers” in various cities all over the country who are complaining about the lack of jobs, but have the guts to complain about how some jobs are going international. First, some of our wonderful citizens don’t have the know-how or education on how to perform these jobs and second “our people” are too proud to take on these positions. In the Chinese culture it is shameless to not be productive or gainfully employed, here it just means you get another paycheck at the beginning of the month and if you really want to make a difference you can take a picture of why you’re unemployed and post it on FB!! Blame the world, never yourself.

    • What is the value of an education? How do you put a price tag on it? They are getting the same thing as thousands of other students who aren’t bringing millions of dollars to the schools. I agree that this is a benefit, but its what makes the college system so unique: does giving someone some classes make everything even when millions and billions are concerned?

      But once again, the conversation has to come back to competitive equality between schools, and that gets thrown out of whack when some schools offer money and others do not.

    • I’m not talking about all type of outsourcing (which is inevitable in todays global economy) I am talking specifically about infrastructure jobs. I often preach about how the government is uniquely situated to create jobs for citizens with such big projects, and seeing them sent oversees is disastrous.

  3. I agree that keeping jobs domestically would do a lot to help, especially in today’s climate. I just find myself wondering how many of the jobs that we argue should be kept here are wanted by Americans. There’s no doubt we NEED them, especially as people complain about not being able to work but offered the position would an American actually take the nitty gritty job?

    As far as the value of education is concerned, I have no clue what kind of price tag to attach to it. It’s qualitative, not quantitative. The NCAA is a breeding ground for professional football, it’s not an end in its own. Well, maybe for some it is, but I don’t know if they’re a majority or not. While 2k isn’t a lot of money, does it really balance out with all the money that a school makes during the games? While slippery slope applies, how do you prevent corruption? How do you prevent a Yankee situation, where they get the best players because they have the most money? But most of all, wouldn’t it destroy the sport? Don’t you love college football because it’s about skill, not money? There are no lock outs or boycotts due to unfair pay, it’s reliable glorious football. Nothing more, nothing less.