Crap you should read Monday



This Campaign is No Joke

I remember when Steve Berke first told me of his plans to run for Mayor of Miami Beach. Admittedly, I was cynical and assumed Steve’s Mayoral campaign would be a joke, or better yet, just another way to promote his stand-up comedy. But I should have known better; every thing I’ve ever heard Steve say he was going to do, he’s done…and done well. Many out there who don’t know Steve will make the same mistaken assumption as I did early on…only now its obvious they aren’t paying attention.

Not only is Berke’s “After Party” running a serious campaign, but the 30 year old comedian/tennis pro/reality star/Yale Grad could very well be the next Mayor of Miami Beach. Berke’s platform is no joke. Steve recognizes that today’s Daily Show age requires a new breed of politician. People are fed up with a lack-of-transparency in politics and even more fed up with wasteful spending and ridiculous government salaries/pensions. He knows Miami Beach residents hate the notoriously crime-filled Urban Week and wants to re-brand the holiday weekend as a legitimate vacation destination for Veterans and their families. He also feels that the city’s youth, as well as it’s nightlife industry (both which bring in significant dollars to the area) are blatantly ignored in local politics and need fair representation.

Berke faces a strong incumbent in 72 year old Mattie Bower, and while it’s normally easy to get lost in a 4 candidate shuffle, Steve excels at making himself stand out. He’s brilliantly used his comedy to reach the masses, and his bottles and models-like campaign has established Berke as the anti-establishment candidate. That’s probably exactly what Miami Beach – one of the most famous cities in the country – needs to shake up the stale state of local affairs.

(Click HERE to Continue reading the full Ryno Reports: ‘Steve Berke for Mayor’ is No Joke)

I know I might be biased, but here’s to hoping the “After Party” isn’t ending any time soon.

Read: The Ryno Reports   ‘Steve Berke for Mayor’ is No Joke

Read: Steve Berke for Mayor — The After Party

Read: Miami Beach Comedian’s Serious, Mostly, As A Candidate — NY Times

The After Party rages onÂ


Anonymous Balls

Anonymous has some major balls. In a video posted earlier this month, the hacker collective demanded that the Mexican cartel Los Zetas release an Anonymous group member they have hostage.

“You made a huge mistake by taking one of us. Release him. And if anything happens to him, you (expletive) will always remember this upcoming November 5th…”

People don’t intentionally bump heads with the cartels, but Anonymous is threatening to release information that could devastate business as the cartel knows it. They plan on releasing the names of taxi drivers, journalists, and police officers (aka “police-zetas”) who are working with the cartel, or against “honest authorities like the army and the navy.”

Many will recognize the November 5th deadline as Guy Fawkes Day, the “holiday” that remembers the guy who tried to blow up Parliament in 1604, who also happens to be the “hero” of the Anonymous movement. There is no doubt that Anonymous will release the information if the Los Zetas doesn’t release their compadre, but the cartels don’t exactly deal too kindly with snitches and threats to their power. Will they bow to the demands of the internet social assassins or will they relatiate their own way? Will they target the families of known Anonymous members or step up assaults against the group themselves?

Either way, “V” is for vendetta, and I’m sure a couple will come from this.

Read: Drug War of the day —


7 Billion Served

The UN says that October 31st is the day when the Earth’s 7 billionth person is born. The US Census Buereau says that number is symbolic and just based off averages, but the 7 million mark won’t actually be hit until March. Whenever it happens, the number is staggering. The world’s population grew 1 billion in last 12 years.

There aren’t enough jobs, food, water now for the 1.2 billion people living in poverty. There aren’t enough opportunities for the 1.8 billion youth in the world. What happens 14 years from now when we hit 8 billion, or even the 10 billion its predicted to hit by the end of the century? We better get crackin’, that’s a lot of iPhones to make.

Read: The World hits the 7 billion person benchmark — LA

"WAIT! STOP! I lost a contact lens..."


Lying Law Schools?

The American Bar Association (ABA) is investigating law schools for less-than-truthful claims to students regarding post JD employment and loan repayment. Turns out that some shady schools were inflating employment figures by including part time NON-legal jobs in their stats for post-JD employment. Pretty ridiculous, but its also a strong factor in determining how much money legal grads currently make in the market. They also insist that this led to widespread misrepresentation of ability for students to repay extensive law loans.

My brother often rants about how (especially in regards to loans) schools take advantage of students who don’t know how to fully read/understand contracts. Of course its usually a part of a conversation about how his loan payments are too high, but he’s correct that its absurd that 22 year olds are allowed to sign deals for hundreds of thousands of dollars that will obligate them for the next 30 years. But that’s what happens when schools (and the funding for it) are turned into a business. Just like any other business, they need to “sell” themselves to potential buyers (students) and sometimes that leads to shady sales tactics.

Read: ABA calling out law schools over misinformation —

Looks like someone needs to check out


Cop on Cop Crime

Miami — Fausto Lopez, 35, was pulled over earlier this month for reckless driving, namely leading Florida Highway Patrol on a 7 minute chase and zig-zagging down the Turnpike at 120+ mph. What makes this story a little more interesting is that Lopez is a Miami-Dade police officer. Think about that for a second: a police officer had to pull over another police officer at gunpoint. FHP had to pull over MDPD. Lopez claims he was speeding to make it to an off-duty gig at a private school, and that he didn’t notice her trying to pull him over, but FHP office DJ Watts wanted none of it.

Its nice to see that cops actually did somethign about such blatant disregard for safety and didnt pull that whole “brotherhood of cops” bullcrap. Its also hysterical to hear a cop use the same “I didn’t notice you behind me” BS excuses as normal civilians do. Lopez was charged with a misdemeanor reckless driving.

The real big problem is that that there are too many idiots out there who are allowed on the police force. Mixed in with the police who actually know what they’re doing are those who just couldnt find another career. Granted that happens in a lot of industries, but unlike in other professions, stupid cops are given a badge and a gun. Take a look at the video below which is probably like porn to Pig-haters.

Read: Miami officer arrested at gunpoint — Miami Herald


Tricks are Treats

Some pranks are priceless. Here’s a classic trick that examines the type of crap we can only get away with on Halloween…


Halloween Fun

Oh Halloween, how much I love you. Usually its for your insistance on having all girls dress as slutty as possible, but every so often its for some hilarious costumes. Here are a couple (mostly courtesy of The Chive) to get you prepped for some Monday Night Fun…

So true

No breastfeeding?

If they get cold, do their belly-buttons get hard?

I like when girls get carried away on Halloween

BeBop, Rocksteady, Day Made

So you're saying its OK to look then?


Breaking Halloween

Strange things are afoot...

The rare non-racist use of black-face

Amazing how girls get so mean when this guy is around

Facebook's Facial Recognition software might explode

Mr. Hand's gonna get some tonight

Hopefully there's no elevator to this guy's partyÂ

Have a Horn-y Halloween


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