Crap you should read this Weekend


Double Dose DDR


Occupy a Message 

Interesting Article this week in The Slate discussing the media’s frustration/confusion with the messages coming out of the Occupy protests. There seems to be an overall insistence that the movement lacks a clear message, but in reality it just lacks clear news coverage. Cable News can’t fit the “Theme” of the Movement in a shocking headline, so instead they make fun of the participants and poke fun at the disorganization. When it comes down to it, the News networks are owned by the very people being protested against, so they’re not exactly neutral in their coverage.

Obviously the rules as they’re written heavily favor a minute percentage of the population.  People are scared of the “R” word, but this is the early stages of a civilized Revolution. No one wants to overthrow the government Michele Bachmann but many feel its time to rewrite the damn rules and fix the system.

That type of change doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s starting to get pretty damn cold. What is the endgame? What are the demands? Its nice to say “Fix it” but at what point will you be satisfied with the response to leave the streets and parks? Or are we in for a 21st century Valley Forge thing?

This is the beauty of the very foundations our country was founded upon. This has been happening all over the world; people demanding representative government that protects them instead of uses them. We were the originators of the whole Government of/for/by the People, yet we’re shocked to actually see it take place on our streets.

Read: OWS Protests confuses the pundit class — The Slate

Maybe try Craigslist?

Looks like someone needs to combine messages. How about "I shaved my Crystal Balls for this?"Â


Alien Abduction Admissions

Could Alien Abductions just be sleep-deprived hallucinations? UCLA researchers studied 20 sleep-deprived volunteers who were taught mental exercises on waking to “induce an ‘out of body’ experience, then once the out-of-body experience was underway, they were told to seek out extra-terrestrials.” 7 out of the 20 volunteers reported extra-terrestrial encounters. Here is one of the better descriptions of the “encounters”:

‘I took a nap from 10:40am to 11:20 am. I was having difficulties in falling asleep so I thought nothing was going to happen. After awhile I must have fallen asleep as I noticed a floating type of sensation. I told myself to go see aliens. The next scene I was near a mountain in a clearing with trees around it. There was a space ship. There were two aliens with helmets on. They also had a type of robot with them. It was about 7 ft tall and was silver in color. The aliens did not appear to be friendly. When the alarm went off I felt like I was 100 miles away and it was difficult to come back to the physical body.’

The fact that 7 of the subjects experienced the close encounters leads the researchers to believe that “Alien contact is not indicative of the existence of otherworldly civilizations, but rather of a poorly studied state of consciousness that people fall into inadvertently.” So basically, lack of sleep causes a bizarre walking dream state where suggestions easily become reality. Apparently there’s a sleep-deprivation epidemic in Trailer Parks these days.

Read: Alien abductions are just dreams according to UCLA study —

"I'm fake? How do you explain anal probes?"Â


Shark Surfing

Oregon — There aren’t words to describe the type of pants-crapping I would’ve been doing if I was Doug Niblack. Doug was surfing off the coast of Oregon when a swell caught him off guard. He tried to kick his feet, but then he found himself standing on something in water way too deep for him to actually be standing. He put his hands down to brace himself, and that’s when he realized he was standing on the back of a 10-ft Great White Shark. He saw the fin below him, and the tail started thrashing behind him.

Witnesses don’t doubt Niblack’s story as they saw him mysteriously standing in the water from a distance and screaming like a banshee. Niblack stood the damn thing’s back for 3-4 seconds before it caught its bearings and swam away. But even then, Niblack thought he was screwed because the dorsal fin caught his board tether and took him on a short ride. When finally loose, Niblack paddled his ass back to shore and kissed the ground faster than a passenger of a Lindsay Lohan joyride. Then he cleaned himself up.

***For the record, this story, and many others was found by the Horn’s tireless unofficial (read: unpaid) researcher Jeremy Lechner. It’s the old man’s birthday, and just like Mr. Niblack, I’m sure Jeremy will be pissing his pants at some point tonight. Here’s to the Horniest of birthdays for one of the biggest Hornballs.

"Kid was such a pussy! HAHAHA!"Â


Nostalgia Time

In an interview with Empire Magazine, Steven Spielberg talked about the new (Tintin, Jurassic 4) and the old (Indy’s), but as WWTDD points out, the best part was when he praised himself as a good friend by crapping on his friend George Lucas. In regards to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:

“I’m very happy with the movie. I always have been… I sympathise with people who didn’t like the MacGuffin because I never liked the MacGuffin. George and I had big arguments about the MacGuffin. I didn’t want these things to be either aliens or inter-dimensional beings. But I am loyal to my best friend. When he writes a story he believes in – even if I don’t believe in it – I’m going to shoot the movie the way George envisaged it. I’ll add my own touches, I’ll bring my own cast in, I’ll shoot the way I want to shoot it, but I will always defer to George as the storyteller of the Indy series. I will never fight him on that.”

So basically “Yeah, I directed it, but George told me to”. To his credit, Spielberg did take the blame for the doinky scene where Indy survives a nuclear blast by hiding in a fridge.

Blame me. Don’t blame George. That was my silly idea. People stopped saying “jump the shark”. They now say, “nuked the fridge”. I’m proud of that. I’m glad I was able to bring that into popular culture.”

Regardless, to think that Spielberg was ok putting crap on screen just to appease Lucas sounds far-fetched, especially when you read the awesome transcript of the story conferences between Spielberg, Lucas and Lawrence Kasdan for Raiders of the Lost Ark. The trio sat for days hammering out the details of the first Indy film, and the nostalgic stories demonstrate the processes by which characters are created and how these minds think audiences will perceive their every action.

My favorite revelation is that the story-tellers originally wanted Indy and Marion to have met from an affair he had with her when she was the Professor’s 11 year old daughter. They thought it was “racy” and felt the audience wouldn’t think he was a child molester, basically because audiences don’t judge characters on what we’re told they’ve done, only what we see them do. They ditched the obviousness of the Indy as a pedo-monster, but then you re-think the dialogue from when Indy first sees Marion again in Raiders:

INDY: I never meant to hurt you.
MARION: I was a child! I was in love.
INDY: You knew what you were doing.
MARION: It was wrong. You knew it.
INDY: Look, I did what I did. I don’t expect you to be happy about it. But maybe we can do each other some good.
MARION: Why start now?
INDY: Shut up and listen for a second. I want that piece your father had. I’ve got money.
MARION: How much?

Oh Doctah Jones, you so creepy!

Read: Steven Spielberg Interview —

Read: Raiders of Lost Ark script conference transcript —

"I felt like I'd be trapped for eternity in there with Jar Jar Binks..."Â


Bad Ass of the Day

…Goes to Tom Cruise. Sure he’s off his rocker, but that means he has the balls to do some cool shit for our entertainment. Take for example his willingness to scale the friggin’ outside of the Burj Khalifa, the world’s tallest building.

Man, being the heir apparent to some bizarre religion really makes you think you’re unbreakable.



Friday Fun

Can I look up now?

Someone please explain to me how Steven Tyler falls in a bathtub, cracks his face, and turns into a Puerto Rican womanÂ

Sure I admire his moves, but it's gross that the dog is a blood hound

Living in perfect harmony

Exhibit B as to why you never go to a racist tattoo parlor

So Foxy


Standard Richard Gere pre-party

Crazy, yeah, but she has a GREAT sense of humor

Awesome SwansonessÂ

Weekend Humpin'Â

Have a Horn-y Weekend

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One Comment

  1. One of the guys in my community psych class is big in to the occupy movement. He even went to DC to train on how to be a peace keeper for the movement. When he got back the professor had him present what he had done in a public forum to the class. Out of curiosity I asked him about the demands and hierarchy of the movement. He told me that a set of 15 demands did exist and that they were available to see on the occupytogether website.

    Out of morbid curiosity I looked in to this. There is a general list of demands where they state that they want to end “wealth inequality”, as an example. That is their one demand. They go on for about a dozen other “one demands”. Some of which are feasible, like an end to capital punishment and others that are not at all, like the wealth inequality. Sure you can “fix” the disparity between the 1% and 99%, but there will always be a gap. Inequality cannot function where all individuals are not completely and absolutely identical. Not equal, but identical.

    On the rest of the site though it states that there is no specific list of demands as what they’re attempting to do is start a dialogue. Umm…with whom? Are all protesters supposed to be in on this dialogue? Who judges whether or not the non-existent demands have been met? And while I understand that they are proud of the fact that they are leaderless, you someone, or something to represent you!

    They’re openly voting as an occupy community for the list of demands to come. They don’t have much time though. The announced that they would be out out by the end of this year.

    Was that a smart announcement to make? Seriously, corrupt politicians just have to wait you out now. Whatever pressure they would normally feel now doesn’t matter since they know that in 60 days (from today) the occupiers will be gone.

    I get what the occupiers are doing with the whole Arab Spring idea that the protesters are following through with, but they should look in to history a little more and see what has worked HERE. Follow the example of MLK. He protested, inspired and lead. Change was affected through with his help.

    You have 99% of the people, do some good with it.