Crap you should read Wednesday


Occupy Oakland Out of Control

Oakland — Oakland PD and Occupy Protesters are bracing themselves for another round of nuttiness today after a few tense clashes on Tuesday. Earlier in the day, Oakland PD kicked protesters out of their makeshift encampment by City Hall for “sanitary and safety reasons”. The situation exploded Tuesday night when around 1000 protesters returned to the encampment, but were immediately confronted by Police who instructed them to leave.

Protesters say Riot cops came in screaming and swinging batons and Cops claim they were shot by paintballs, and hit by bottles and rocks. Soon the niceties stopped and the Riot Cops started launching tear gas and flashbang grenades into the crowd. There are some reports that rubber bullets were used, but so far Oakland officials are only copping to using beanbags.

In all, its reported that more than 100 civilians were arrested in the night of chaos. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that no cops were arrested for excessive force.

The problem is that protests and movements are more about images than facts, and regardless who “started it”, we can all see the government using its might to its advantage to either harm or stifle the people. We don’t see the initial rocks and bottles (or maybe we just condone that), but we surely see the tear gas, the explosions, and the people running away screaming in pain. I am in no way condoning violence from civilians, but Law Enforcement has to go above and beyond to NOT reciprocate with force (or teargas) otherwise the entire country can erupt.


Cantor Embarrassment

Philadelphia — Loyal Hornballs, I apologize. I failed you by not telling you about this hilariously embarrassing moment from the life of Congressman Eric Cantor (R-Va). The Virginia Congressman was scheduled to give a speech on Income Equality at The University of Pennsylvania on Friday morning, but then he got some bad news. Turns out the audience was to be filled on a first come/first serve basis, and the first-come were hundreds of Occupy Philly protesters that kinda have a bone to pick with the House Majority Leader on his thoughts on Income Equality. So did Cantor sack-up and face the crowd to explain his side of the current financial fiasco? Hell no! Cantor cancelled the speech and got the hell out of Dodge.

Now I don’t fully blame Cantor for cancelling; should he have been forced to address an entire crowd of people who didn’t want to hear him speak? No chance. Should he have figured out a better way to handle this so he didn’t look like a putz? Absolutely. But what’s amazing is the people power. If the Oakland story above its about The Man repressing the People’s propaganda, then this story is about the People repressing The Man’s propaganda.

But for Cantor, the 2nd highest ranking Republican in the House and a man with clear Presidential aspirations, he’s got to learn how to face a crowd like a man. A leader doesn’t run from a conversation on the issues; he embraces the debate and embraces the fact that we are lucky to live in a place where the debate is allowed. Unless you live in Oakland.

Read: Congressman Cantor Calls off Speech because of protesters —

If a Congressman speaks, but has no fans around to listen, does he make a sound?


Separation of Church and Cathedral

Washington DC — The random 5.8 earthquake in August that rocked the East Coast left some damage in it’s wake, particularly in the District that was in no way prepared for the shaking. Such was the case with the National Cathedral that suffered structural damage and most noticeably lost the decorative tops of its spires. The National Cathedral requested up to $15 million in Federal Disaster relief, but unfortunately the DC landmark might not see a dollar of it. Apparently some feel that giving Federal money for the repairs of a church is an obvious violation of the separation of Church and State.

Religion should never be a factor in government, government should never be a factor in religion, and government should never support one religion over an other…but this is different. I lived in DC and the National Cathedral is a big part of the District’s character. It is the 2nd largest Church in the US, and the 6th largest in the world. It IS A part of the city, more than just an Episocopalian church, but a cathedral of prayer for our entire nation. Many state funerals are held there, and Americans flock to visit the one place that perfectly symbolizes the Constitutional protection of the right to pray.

Sometimes you have to look past the religious part and see the human part. To NOT provide disaster funds BECAUSE they are a religious building is just as egregious a violation of the Establishment Clause.

Read: Political aftershocks over bid for disaster aid for Washington National Cathedral — LA

Is it wrong that I still giggle every time I hear the term "flying buttress"?


Oh, My Bad

Atlanta —   Teresa Culpepper called the cops to report her stolen truck, but when police arrived, they had no interest in her truck. Instead they arrested Teresa because someone else named Teresa was wanted for Aggravated Assault. According to her attorney:

“Her birth date didn’t match. Her address didn’t match. Her description didn’t match. Other than the name Teresa, nothing matched.”

Yet Teresa was arrested anyway, and kept in jail for 53 days. She was only freed when the victim of the alleged assault came forward and testified that Culpepper was not the woman who assaulted her. So cops kept poor Teresa in jail for almost 2 months although it was obvious she had nothing to do with the reported crime, and even more shocking, a local news station tracked down the ACTUAL Teresa accused of the assault, and she has never been contacted by police. WTF?

I used to work for a national criminal defense firm where I would field clients from all across the country and liaise with attorneys in their city. Bottom line, cops in 75% of America run free in those towns. They do whatever the hell they want, and leave it to the courts (usually stocked with their friends from the Good Ol Boys Network) to sort it out later. “I know my rights!” Sure you do, but if you can’t afford afford quality representation, your rights at the time of arrest mean jack crap.

Culpepper now apparently has good representation and is suing the city of Atlanta. Atlanta PD is conducting their own internal investigation to see if there was any wrongdoing, but if their report comes back with anything other than “DUH!!!!” then its a sham.

Read: Woman arrested because she had same first name of wanted woman — Atlanta Journal Constitution



Ohai Chainsaw Guy

New York City — Thank goodness for cell-phone cams, because there is just some crap you’re never lucky enough to catch in person.

As for the video below, let’s just say that this dude hates paying for parking, and he certainly never saw Cool Hand Luke.

Read: Man takes out anger on parking meter — Youtube


He’s Cooler than You

The video below is one of those that you watch in amazement, but your mind can’t help but wander to “sure he’s a pro now, but what the hell happened the first time he tried this crap?”

Either way, whoever came up with setting up the trampoline next to the wall for trick-purposes is either brilliant or crippled. Take a look and see how Julien Roberge masters the damn thing…


Humpday Fun

"Concentrate people, we have a show to do..."

How much better would the Occupy be if they all protested like this?Â

J-Lo, it's just cartoonish at this point

Take a look J-Lo, that's what its supposed to look likeÂ

Oh pants, you win again

Slow clap, Uniform Designer. Slow clap. ALWAYS get drunk before the wedding pictures

Ohai Green Team

Well played, Horse

There's a reason they call it "magic hour"

Have a Horn-y HumpdayÂ

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One Comment

  1. I can’t say that I blame Cantor, but I at least would’ve had the decency to fake it a little better. Take something to upset your stomach and then make it out to the stage, start to talk and them projectile vomit. Hopefully you could hit the first couple of rows. Kids in elementary school have a better imagination.

    While I get the separation of church and state there are certain locations that are beyond religion, even though they are religious buildings. Think of St Patrick’s in NYC. It’s a cultural icon of the city. You can’t just kick it off the list just because it’s religious anymore than you can kick Mexicans out of the country for being Mexican… Oh wait, bad example.

    In any case, it’s sad to see something like this because they’re damned either way. No action will be perfect or above reproach. There will always be someone complaining on either side. I say fix it, maybe even as a loan. 2nd collections here we come!