Crap you should read Monday (10/3)



Occupying all the Wall Streets:

It started out with a dozen students, but more than 2 weeks later, thousands of protesters have occupied lower Manhattan in anger over social and economic inequality, overall corporate greed, as well as the strong influence of corporate money and lobbyists on government. Now the fever has spread to Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago, Denver and Seattle.

It’s been a year of People Power, with popular uprisings toppling dictatorships throughout the middle east, so it will be real interesting to see how the United States, the model for people-protection, handles the protests. NYPD has already embarrassed us with disgusting images of police brutality (see video below), and if such behavior becomes the norm in the other cities, we could be in store for some monumental unrest.

Unrest? Seems like they're getting plenty of rest.

Interestingly, the Arab Spring uprisings all had a goal: the toppling of dictatorships and gaining personal freedoms…so what do the Wall Street protesters expect as an endgame? What is considered a victory here? What do they get for sitting outside, sleeping in the streets, and getting abused by the cops? We obviously don’t need a complete re-working of our form of government, so are they expecting the bank chieftains to start throwing cash out the windows to make things right?

The White House needs to find an answer to that question so they can quickly frame this narrative before it spirals out of control. There are a lot of people pissed off in this country, and the White House needs to make sure that this doesn’t turn into an all out Poor vs Rich battle. The broke and unemployed have nothing better to do than join the “Front lines” of this imaginary battle, and they’re going to start insisting that heads roll before they pack it up and say “job well done”.

Read: Occupy Wall Street takes over more cities — Daily Mail

Florida says F the Primary Schedule:

For reasons that lost all meaning a long time ago, Republican primary season is treated like the BCS, with a starting rotation of New Hampshire, Iowa, Nevada and South Carolina guaranteed early spots that allow them to pretend they still carry some sort of national influence.

Of course this pissses off the other states that want some clout in the election cycle, and there’s always one or two jokers that try to mess with the system. The GOP has punishments for this kind of thing (loss of delegates, etc) but now Florida says F that, and has scheduled their Republican Primary in January.

The move rankled a ton of feathers, but what did they gain? The BCS Four will just end up moving up their schedules, because there’s no way they’ll let the spotlight be pried from their cold, dead hands. In reality, this just means that the serious Primary action will get ratcheted up sooner, but lets be honest, its been Republican Primary Season since Barry O took office.

Read: Florida holds fast to January primary — CNN Political Ticker

"How am I supposed to know where to book my attention-grabbing bus trip if you guys keep messin' with the dates?"


Kobe going to Italy

It seems that Kobe Bryant and Italy’s Virtus Bologna are close to finalizing a deal that would have Kobe suiting up for 10 games overseas. Kobe is thrilled to return to Italy, as he lived there from ages 6-13 and speaks fluent Italian. The club knows full well that the NBA lockout could end at any time, so they’re being very accommodating with Kobe. His contract is for $3 million to play only 10 games, but can be renewed if the NBA powers haven’t come to an agreement yet.

Kobe is the NBA’s  biggest name, so naturally his decision to defect to Italy is causing quite a stir. Does ownership have to worry that their product is walking out the door? Will such a move force the NBA suits to stop lying come to a deal with players sooner?

Read: Kobe going to Virtus Bologna on 10 game contract — Huffington Post

"So where can I buy a really big diamond ring?"


Oh, Sun

NASA’s Solar Dynamic Observatory Satellite has captured some breathtaking images of the sun. The SDO satellite utilizes x-rays and ultra-violet rays to to give a picture of the inner workings of the star that we can’t possibly see with the human eye. According to Daily Mail, “Every day [SDO] sends out 1.5 terabytes of data, equal to 500,000 songs on an MP3 player.”

Very cool pictures, and proof to the gay community that everything looks better in pastels.

Read: See the Sun in stunning detail — DailyMail


Temporary Marriages:

Mexico City — Almost half of Mexicos City’s marriages end in early divorce, so officials are tinkering with a pain-reducing shortcut for newlyweds to hedge their matrimonial bets: Temporary Marriage Licenses. Under the plan, Couples would choose how long they want their marriage to be valid (the least being 2 years) with an option to renew. The benefits are obviously legal, as to what the property is, and how the split would be.  The cons have to do with the fact that it pretty much invalidates the underlying concept of vowing your life to another.

As bizarre as the idea is, its enlightening that Mexico recognizes human nature makes people tire of each other quickly. But is this a good precedent to set? Does it kill the sanctity of marriage? Either way, can you just imagine how awkward that moment will be when its time to renew, and the husband is all gung-ho, and the wife is all “Oh, crap, I forgot to send in the papers…see you, honey!”

Read: Temporary Matrimony — MSNBC

"Told you we should've done this in Mexico"


Broken Penises

Maryland — A recent study from the University of Penis Maryland says that fractured penises are usually the result of extramarital affairs. Yes, I did say “fractured” as in broken. Penises. Even though there’s no actual bone in your boner, the soft tissue surrounding it can still “break”, and a University of Maryland Doctor says its not the cosmic-karmic-dick Gods making a point. Its usually just the result of going a little crazy with your new partner, and opening up in ways you havent with your past partner. Yet another thing to blame on your lame wife.

Read: Penile fracture increases in extra-marital affairs — My Health News Daily

The cure for broken penii


Feel Good Video:

I don’t always need to bring depressing Crap to your attention. Every once in a while I like to make you smile.

Take this video below as an example. Watch Sarah Churman, a deaf woman, hear her voice for the first time thanks to a device embedded in her middle ear. If you don’t get some kind of reaction to this, then you really shouldn’t be allowed around children or sharp objects.

Read: Sarah Churman hears her voice for first time — HuffPost



Have a Horn-y Monday


Follow The Ryno on Facebook and Twitter or email