C-Nasty’s Running SNF Diary: Ravens at Jets

Yes Sir, Mr. Suggs. Anything you say, Sir.


by C-Nasty


As I mentioned last week, I originally considered diarizing Sunday Night Football, but chose MNF because it gave me something to do on Monday nights. However, the Monday night games have generally sucked ass, and frankly I’m tired of listening to Jaws and Gruden yammer on about nothing for hours every week.

So this week we’re following along as the Ravens host the Jets, partially because I hope it will be better than Curtis Painter ‘s 1st start on the road against a 10 win team a year ago, and partially because I have a conflict Monday night that involves alcohol (and a friend’s birthday).  Alcohol and friendship win.  But mostly alcohol.



Sunday Night’s game is roughly 230572309457623 times more exciting than Colts at Bucs and something that I’d actually sit down and watch even if I wasn’t writing about it.  The game featured two 2-1 teams that usually pride themselves on smash mouth defense and rushing, but who have, of late, established themselves as having legitimate passing threats. 

Throw in the whole Rex Ryan storyline (former Ravens defensive coordinator and current Jets head coach who was passed over for the Ravens head coaching position for those of you comfortably situated under a rock) along with two of the most entertaining players in the league in Ed Reed and Ray Lewis and this could be one helluva game.  Or, since I’m writing about it, really, really boring.



1Q 13:53 – Baltimore receives the kick and nearly turns it over immediately, but they’re able to fall on the fumbled kickoff return and start backed up inside their own 15.  Flacco gets called for grounding, Ray Rice gets stuffed at the line and the Ravens are faced with a 3rd and long from inside their own 10.  Flacco hits TE Ed Dickson a couple yards short of the first down marker and Ed is able to muscle his way through Donald Strickland to get the first down. 

Pink is prominently featured throughout the NFL this week (and will be for the rest of October) for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Being that my mom is a breast cancer survivor, this is actually one of those causes that actually means something to me, as evidenced by my Halloween costume from last year.

The C-Nastiest

1Q 11:58 – The Ravens get one more first down before their drive stalls and they’re forced to punt it away to Sanchize and the Jets.  New York’s offense is actually missing a crucial piece due to the fact that their Pro Bowl center Nick Mangold is still out and undrafted rookie Colin Baxter is starting in his place.  Fortunately for the Jets, the first snap goes off without a hitch.  Unfortunately, Ed Reed still plays for Baltimore and he hits Sanchez with a blind side safety blitz, causing a fumble. The Ravens pick it up and return it for a touchdown.  This game is already more entertaining than all the previous MNF games combined.

1Q 11:43 – Wait a second, this is really the kind of game I’ve been passing up on writing about?  Immediately after Ed Reed energizes the home crowd with the strip sack fumble recovery for a TD, Joe McKnight takes the ensuing kickoff (which he fielded 7 yards deep in his own endzone) the length of the field for the 107 yard score.

1Q 7:51 – Penalties back the Ravens to their own endzone, but a couple runs from Ray Rice give them some breathing room.  Just as Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth are lavishing praise on Rice, Flacco hits him on a slant route, he breaks a tackle and takes it up the sideline for 52 yards.  I am so glad my love for alcohol loyalty to friends is being so kindly rewarded.  I feel like I’ve been watching the WNBA the last couple weeks.

1Q 7:25 – I rarely comment on commercials because there’s usually so much to make fun of in the actual broadcast.  However, this has been a great game thus far and Collinsworth and Michaels have managed to keep their feet out of their respective mouths, much to the chagrin of Rex Ryan.  During an injury timeout we’re reminded that Real Steel is an actual a movie, and from the looks of it, cost quite a bit of money.  They’re promoting this like it’s half the movie Warrior was, which it won’t be because Warrior was the best movie I’ve seen this year. 

Then, in a promo for NBA 2K12 we have Michael Jordan making the statement that his 72-10 championship Chicago Bulls was the best team ever assembled.  This is then refuted by…Drake (what the fuck?) who claims that the current Miami Heat team is the best ever.  I hate to point out the obvious to poor Aubrey but the current Miami Heat team wasn’t even the best team in the league last year let alone of all time.  This was clearly a “hey LeBron and D-Wade, you see what I said about your team?  Can we hang out now?” move.  I hate Drake more and more with each simperific angsty song and desperate public appearance he makes.

1Q 4:57 – The Ravens drive stalls and they settle for a Cundiff field goal.  On the ensuing drive, Baltimore keys on New York’s rookie Center, and repeatedly get to Sanchez. This forces a 3 and out.  I love football and would love to be able to play in the League, but I would HATE to be a rookie Center going up against this Ravens defense tonight.

1Q 3:05 – Baltimore tried to air it out to rookie WR Torrey Smith a couple times, but Flacco keeps underthrowing or overthrowing him. The Ravens are left with 3rd and long.  Joe Flacco channels Michael Vick and Ben Roethlisberger (in the football sense, he didn’t rape a dog or anything), buys time and hits Ray Rice (who absolutely trucked Donald Strickland before he ran his route) for the first down.

1Q 1:14 – A couple nice completions to Anquan Boldin and Ed Dickson give Baltimore a 1st and goal scenario.  They manage to punch it in via Ray Rice 2 plays later and take a 17-7 lead.  This is still the first quarter.  Apparently I won’t be going to bed until roughly 4 AM.

Jeez, at least someone cares about Fantasy stats

End of 1st Qtr: Baltimore 17 – New York 7

2Q 14:16 – The woes at the Center position continue for New York as Baxter fires a shotgun snap off of Mark Sanchez’s right shoulder; the Ravens recover it immediately.  Thus far the Jets have less than 20 yards of offense and Baltimore is closing in on 200.  If it wasn’t for Joe McKnight’s kickoff return this would be bordering on ass-whopping territory already.

2Q 10:50 – Fortunately for the Jets, their Defense holds and forces Baltimore into taking a field goal.  Unfortunately, they still haven’t solved their problems on Offense.  They finally get some positive yardage with a first down completion to Plaxico Burress and then shoot themselves in the leg foot with a facemask penalty. Another 3 and out.

2Q 8:11 – Baltimore can’t get anything going offensively and are forced to punt.  New York’s offense picks right up where it left off and continues being terrible.  Their Offensive Line is getting completely exposed by the Ravens D.  This culminates in Ngata beating a double team and absolutely crushing Sanchez again. He drops the ball, and the Ravens pick it up and walk into the endzone.  Real Gs move in silence like Haloti Ngata.

2Q 6:17 – The Ravens defense looks like they’re playing with the cheat code on.  They’re sending the house at Mark Sanchez, and routinely abusing him.  Sanchez has next-to-no time to do anything other than throw up a prayer or take a sack. The Jets are forced to punt again.  It looks like Baltimore is going to run away with this thing until David Harris picks off Joe Flacco and returns it for a score.  I’m starting to think New York should punt on first down and just try to score with their Defense and Special Teams.

2Q 2:18 – The Ravens get the ball back, but it looks like the Jets finally figured out how to play defense.  They get to Flacco multiple times and force a punt.  New York finally gets their Offense going, and moves the ball into the red zone. But, the Jets still suck and they settle for a field goal.  These defenses are amazing to watch.  Unlike last week where it was the ineptitude on the part of the offense that led to a record-tying amount of field goals, these teams present confusing schemes and are unrelenting in their blitz packages. Its no wonder both teams are known for their D.

Sanchez is just so adorable, everyone on Baltimore just wants to eat him up

Halftime: Baltimore 27 – New York 17

3Q 9:03 – The Jets settle down on Offense and are picking up the Ravens’ continued blitzes.  This doesn’t mean they’re not anemic on Offense (because they are) it just means Sanchez isn’t on his back every other play.  Baltimore’s Defense holds and their Offense goes to work from inside their own 20.  They pick up a first down before Rex Ryan unleashes a series of blitzes, which lead to Aaron Maybin strip-sacking Joe Flacco. New York recovers on the Baltimore 27.  These teams are more resolute and aggressive in their Defense than a redneck in a gay bar.

3Q 8:53 – THE VERY NEXT PLAY Terrell Suggs gets to Mark Sanchez. Sanchez rushes the throw and is picked off by LarDarius Webb, who returns it 73 yards for the score.   Baltimore is now up 34-17, and there has only been one Offensive TD; 35 of the 51 points have come off of defensive or special teams touchdowns. This is nuts.

3Q 0:11 – The Jets were able to move the ball a little bit on their next drive, but are eventually forced to punt.  Baltimore ends the quarter in the middle of a 10 play drive, all of which are rushing plays.  This may have something to do with wanting to milk the clock and capitalize on their lead.  Or it could have something to do with the fact that Joe Flacco is 0 for his last 11 and hasn’t completed a pass since the first quarter.  Seriously.  He’s forced to throw at the end of the drive on a 3rd and 8 and chucks it 10 feet out of bounds, he’s now 8/29 with an INT.

Flacco will hand the ball off to anyone these days

End of 3rd Qtr: Baltimore 37 – New York 17

4Q 9:51 – Another New York 3 and out gives the ball back to Baltimore. The Ravens then march down the field and burn clock with a steady diet of running plays.  Calvin Pace brings this to a halt by stripping Ricky Williams and giving the Jets a little bit of life.

4Q 6:33 – Pace gave the Jets life much in the same way that Terry Schaivo was given life – they go 3 and out after the fumble recovery and have to punt it back to the Ravens.

4Q 2:11 – Much of the back and forth excitement has dissipated at this point.  The Ravens milked the clock on a drive before punting, the Jets couldn’t do anything with it and punted back.  The Ravens milk the clock some more and punt. Rex Ryan is left trying to draw up an 18 point play.

4Q 1:50 – Nothing doing.  Baltimore’s Defense holds once again, the Jets turn it over on downs. The Ravens kneel and seal the W.

"Its not fair! These pink shoes are driving me nuts!"

Final Score: Baltimore 37 – New York 17


Post Game

What a game (for the first 3 quarters).  Collinsworth actually pointed out what I was thinking once we hit the start of the 4th quarter – at that point the game finally looked like what everyone expected it to be.  Most people assumed this would be a low scoring game, founded on the “ground and pound” mentality.  What we got instead was the first game in NFL history with 5 returns for touchdowns (1 kickoff return, 2 INTs and 2 fumble recoveries).

Given the Steelers loss to the Texans today, this puts Baltimore in the driver’s seat in the AFC North. The Jets, on the other hand, need to figure out how to right the ship in a hurry before a crucial divisional game against New England next week.

This Sunday Night Game was far more entertaining than any of the first 3 Monday Night games I’ve covered.  Considering next week’s Sunday night game is Green Bay at Atlanta, I might just have to make this more of a permanent thing.

"Listen Man. It's not you, its me...."