Crap you should read Tuesday (9/20)

Thank God for Good TV


Pretending to be Strong

President Obama laid out the second half of his economic recovery plan (Jobs Plan was the short-term part 1) on Monday, calling for $3.6 Trillion in spending cuts (changes to Medicare, cuts in Military spending, pulling out of Iraq Afghanistan, etc) as well as $1.5 trillion in raised revenue (eliminating tax loopholes for corporations, eliminating the Bush Tax Cuts, etc) over the next 10 years.

Republicans only want the spending cuts and not the taxes, so Obama laid down the law and promised to veto any legislation from the Congressional “Super Committee” that asks for cuts without raising revenue.

“I will not support any plan that puts all the burden for closing our deficit on ordinary Americans.”

This brought out the predictable, obnoxious and manipulative critics who lie, pretend and insist Obama is stoking the fires of  “Class Warfare”. Of course by insisting that Obama is only targeting rich people, they’re actually the ones making this a Class Warfare issue. Regardless, Obama is quick to point out that “This is not class warfare. It’s simple math.”

Obviously Republicans care less about fixing the economy than they do defeating Obama, so there’s no chance they help pass any legislation that would fix our country’s ills while he’s in office.

What do you think? Who is hurt the worst by yet another Republican refusal to pass an economic recovery plan…President Obama, the Republicans, or our country itself?

Obama proposes economic plan — Miami Herald

"Pass this bill, or face the wrath of my...veto pen?"


Phony Giants

The New York Giants should be ashamed of themselves. Late in the FIRST quarter, the Giants were gasping for air (and pride) as Sam Bradford led his Rams effortlessly down the field utilizing a no-huddle offense. The Giants were pinned against their endzone, lost and about to give up a score, but they didn’t want to waste a Time Out. So they decided to pull out their secret play to slow the Rams down…cheating.

Although the play was over, and there were no Rams in the vicinity, Deon Grant (#34) and Jacquian Williams (#57) were magically hit by the fake injury bug, and simultaneously collapsed to the ground writhing in fake pain. I know the Giants Defense usually lays down and lets the other team score, but this was a disgusting and obvious ploy to get the Ref’s attention and stop the clock. Fortunately the Ref’s caught it and…no wait, they didn’t. The fake injuries worked like a charm; the Giants got a breather, got the right personnel in, and held the Rams to a Field Goal.

This is bush league SOCCER antics and embarrassing for real football. Its even more embarrassing because a signal must have been given from the sidelines from the Giants coaching staff to fake injury, because there is no way both players opted to do this at the EXACT same moment.

Pay attention Roger Goodell; its this type of crap that ruins the integrity of football, not hard hits. Man, and I thought Eli Manning was reason enough to hate the Giants.


Drilling off Key West

A US delegation just returned from Cuba from a trip to see how serious those on the Communist island were about offshore drilling. They are.

US officials claim there could be about 5 billion barrels and 9.8 trillion cubic feet of natural gas in Castro’s backyard and now the Cubans want to cash in. Scarabeo 9, a giant, semi-submersible oil rig, is on its way from Singapore and will park between Cuba and the Keys. It will allegedly arrive in December, so at least they’re waiting until after hurricane season.

The problem is that the US has an embargo with Cuba for the last 50 years, which means the Cubans surely won’t observe US rules and safety regulations. If something gets effed up at the rig, Cuba has to go elsewhere, such as the UK, Norway or Brazil.

Don’t worry South Florida, I’m sure our beaches and ecosystem have nothing to worry about. From what I hear, those Communist countries never screw anything up.

Jimmy Buffet is going to be pissed


The End of the World is Nigh

If the video below doesn’t scare the Crap out of you, then you clearly don’t realize the possible nefarious uses for real-time Face-swapping. OpenFramworks developer Arturo Castro demonstrates how easy it is to change your face with real-time CGI. Sure its pretty clunky now, but will surely be perfected over time.

Is there anything POSITIVE that can come from such a technology? I can only imagine criminals using it for fraud, kidnappers using it to lure people, attorneys and politicians creating false witness testimony, and scumbags using it to give false orders (cops, military, terrorists).

Though admittedly, it could make your ugly ex-girlfriend more entertaining to Skype with.


Faces from arturo on Vimeo.


Gingers Can’t Cum Here

Sorry redheads, but the world doesn’t need your sperm anymore. I’m not being mean, that’s just what Ole Schou, director of  Cryos International, the world’s largest sperm bank had to say.

“There are too many redheads in relation to demand, I do not think you choose a redhead, unless the partner – for example, the sterile male – has red hair, or because the lone woman has a preference for redheads. And that’s perhaps not so many, especially in the latter case.”

So if you’re a redhead and need a couple of bucks, cumming into a cup is not the outlet for you.  You’ll just have to beat up other Gingers and take their money just like we normal people do.

World’s Largest Sperm Bank denies Redheads — Daily Caller

Sunscreen Conventions are soooooooo boring.


Crappy Day

Maryland — You thought you had a crappy ride to work? Be thankful you weren’t on your way to Ellicot City on Sunday morning. A 1.5 mile stretch of road from Main Street to Frederick Road in Baltimore County was covered in liquid manure. It took nearly 3 hours to clean up the liquid crap, and one witness described the smell as “disgustingly epic”.

Authorities are still looking for the cause of the spill, but I’m not sure why its so hard to find the culprit. Look for the guy with a Taco Bell bag and a huge smile on his face.

Manure spill causes traffic jam —

"I'll just tell them its chocolate. Or carrot juice. No...chocolate carrot juice."


A Mustache World

Life would be a better place if everyone had a Tom Selleck mustache. Need proof? Ask my Dad how happy he was in the 1980s.

Or just watch this video and have a Horn-y damn Tuesday.



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