Crap you should read Wednesday (9/14)

 

Viva la Resistance!

 

Lying About HPV

Gov. Rick Perry is the front-runner, which means the rest of the GOP field has to bring him down. Even though in a few months they’ll all band together and support the very policies they’re opposing now, everyone is jumping on Perry for his 2007 Executive Order (quickly overturned by Texas’ State Legislature) that mandated HPV Vaccinations for 11/12 year old girls. Cervical cancer is the 2nd leading cause of death in women, and 90% of cases result from 4 different strains of HPV, but many freaked out saying the government should never MANDATE putting a drug in your system.

It doesn’t help at all that Perry’s Chief of Staff, Mike Toomey, worked for Merck (the leading producer of the vaccination) and his campaigne received $30,000 from the pharmaceutical giant. So there might be other reasons that Perry pushed this so hard, but now the very VALID vaccine (recommended by the CDC) is under fire because of the political games. Take Michele Bachmann and her lying/non-fact checking ways for example. Yesterday, the Congresswoman lied bragged:

I had a mother last night come up to me here in Tampa, Florida, after the debate…She told me that her little daughter took that vaccine, that injection, and she suffered from mental retardation thereafter.

Keep in mind that NO ONE, not a single scientist, has suggested that the vaccination causes mental retardation. Retardation/Autism is an alleged (and debunked) claim against vaccinations from early childhood (like measles); NOT the HPV vaccination administered in 6th grade.

Bachmann blatantly lied and created this “mother” to attack her opponent, without doing any fact-checking to see if her made-up story held any water. Will she suffer any loss from her blatant lies? No. Her fans don’t care to do their own research, they trust liars to give them “facts”. Idiots love sound bites.

Taking the “Government Mandate” issue out of the equation, this vaccination is helpful in the fight against HPV and cervical cancer. Unfortunately, now because of political games and “stories” like the ones told by the lying Congresswoman, people will honestly believe that the HPV vaccination causes retardation, and they’ll opt to ignore a valuable weapon against the 2nd leading cause of death of young women.

Nice job.

Fact Check: No evidence to support Bachmann’s HPV/Mentall REtardation claims — NBC News on MSNBC

Harming the HPV Vaccine — Huffington Post

"God spoke to me last night, and told me to fight AGAINST cures to the beautiful diseases that he created."

 

O’Reilly Rips Into Romney:

Former Massachusetts Governor, Mitt Romney, was on The O’Reilly Factor yesterday to push his presidential campaign to a friendly audience. Romney is pretty used to softball questions from his FoxNews brethren, so he must have been shocked to encounter resistance from O’Reilly on his overly anti-Obama stance.

Romney started spitting out the standard Obama-sucks lines, and O’Reilly would have none of it. Bill attacked Romney on his claims that Obama is the worst president of all time, and that Obama has a horrible foreign policy record. He basically said that the attacks were baseless and nonsense. No-Spin Zone indeed!

Gotta watch the video below.

 

Poverty Line Movin’ on Up

According to new info from the Census Bureau, 46.2 million people are now living in poverty. That’s 15.1% of our population, up from 14.3% a year before. Alarmingly 22%, more than 1 out of 5 children under 18, live in poverty.

For the record, Poverty is defined as not having an iPhone. Ok, I jest. Poverty is considered a single person making less than $11,139 or a family of four bringing in $22,314.  They also say the median household income in the US is $49,445.

These numbers are shocking. More than 1/10 of Americans make less than $1,000 per month. Also, keep in mind that if $22,314 is poverty for a family of 4, that means that a fam of 4 making $25,000/year is considered out of poverty! They’re almost well-to-do!

But let’s continue to make their lives miserable and take away all the government programs that help them live barely above that poverty level.

46.2 million Americans in Poverty according to Census Bureau — LA Times Blogs

"Be a glass-full kinda-guy. You still have gloves, don't you?"

 

Pay The House

You know who’s not living in Poverty? Tyler Perry. According to Forbes list of the Top Paid Men in Entertainment, Perry raked in more than $130 million thanks to 5 horrible, stereotyping movies and 2 TV shows during their fiscal period. Yes folks, the man behind the Madea make-up made more than any other man in Hollywood.

Rounding out the list are Jerry Bruckheimer ($113 million), Steven Spielberg ($107 million), Elton John ($100 million) and Simon Cowell ($90 million).

So two Jews, two Brits and a Black dude walk into a bar….then they bought it.

Highest Paid Men in Entertainment — Forbes

"Hey, its not my fault people pay to see this Crap."

 

Bad Ass: Libya

Col. Gadhafi bragged for years how much his people loved him. Sure he forced many to live in poverty and slaughtered many who stood up against him, but he pretended Libyans loved their Lionel Richie-looking Dictator. This makes it extra hilarious that the “beloved” man is now hiding like a scared kitten somewhere in Tripoli. Its been 3 weeks since the Rebels took control of Libya’s capital, yet the Civil War cannot truly end until the Colonel is found and vocally releases the fallen regime from his grasp.

Leading the hunt for the Murdering Dictator is Hisham Buhagiar, carpet salesman by day/rebel military leader by night. Buhagiar earned a great reputation fighting in numerous battles and taking bullets to each leg for the cause, but he’s even better well known as the guy who can give you wall-to-wall at a great price per foot.

Buhagiar leads a team of 60 hunters looking to find great deals on apartments to flip after the revolt  that utilize limited technology and over-abundant human assets to track the beleaguered Colonel and his band of 300-500 supporters/guards.

Buhagiar believes they’ll have Gadhafi in the next 10 days or so, but does anybody doubt him? Even if they do, they better not doubt his ability to make Tripoli the most comfortably-floored capital in all the land.

Carpet Salesman leads hunt for Gadhafi — MSNBC World Blog

"I mean he's kinda tough to find. Sometimes he spells his name with a G, other tiems a K or a Q!"

 

Bad Ass: Utah

Logan, Utah — Chris Graff of Utah State University was setting up his camera to film a video lecture. He heard a crash outside, then faced his camera out the window to catch a car and motorcycle on fire. It wasn’t until people down on the street started panicking that he knew someone was stuck underneath the flaming car.

Turns out 21 year old Brandon Wright tried to avoid the BMW, crashed and slid right underneath the car. That’s when about 12 brave bystanders came to the rescue. They banded together and lifted the car while another pulled Wright out from underneath. Amazingly, Wright was still alive, currently stable and recovering in ICU.

My big question is, what’s the deal with the cameraman Graff not going down to help? Was he lazy, shocked, or was it out of some National Geographic desire not to disturb the course of nature?

At least there were 12 other bad-asses there for Wright. Click here to watch the amazing rescue.

Amazing Car Rescue, Logan, Utah — Youtube

"Looks good from up here, people. Great job. Hey, Green, can you move so I can get a better shot?"

 

Oh Sarah!

The National Enquirer got their hands on the soon-to-be-released book, The Rogue, from Sarah Palin stalker biographer, Joe McGinniss. Of course it has some racy crap about the Republican darling, and one of the juicier tidbits leaked is that Palin had a one-night stand with NBA star Glen Rice back in 1987.

Rice, a junior at University of Michigan, was playing in a basketball tournament hosted in Alaska. According to the Enquirer:

McGinniss claims Sarah had a “fetish” for black men at the time and he quotes a friend as saying Sarah had “hauled (Rice’s) ass down.”

A bang session from 25 years ago shouldn’t be a story, but Ms. Morals was dating future husband Todd at the time, and married him 9 months later.

So is this rumor, or truth? Glen Rice allegedly confirms the story, but we’re still waiting for a “You Betcha” from the Governess.

Sarah Palin banged Glen Rice — National Enquirer

 

Years later, Sarah was shocked to find out BBC also stood for British Broadcasting Corporation

Scarlett’s A

Scarlett Johannson is upset that nude pics of her leaked online, but we certainly aren’t. The pics were allegedly hacked and stolen from her cell phone. In case you’re wondering if they’re real, I can verify because she sent them directly to me. Scarlett also contacted the FBI to hunt down the hackers, and you don’t do that for fake pics, do you?

Check out the pics on WWTDD, and for God’s sake, have a Horn-y Humpday.

Scarlett Johansson is Naked — WWTDD

"I was just checking to see if I had any moles..."

Follow The Ryno on Facebook and Twitter or email ryno@therynoshorn.com