Crap you should read Thursday (9/1)


Awesomeness....that's some good Crap


When we Talking?

President Obama has a Jobs Plan, and he wants to tell you about it. Naturally he wants to preach its wonders from the President’s ultimate bully pulpit, in front of a joint session of Congress. As is custom, Obama sent an official request to House and Senate leaders to address them next Wednesday, and they all graciously accepted. “Anything to help our President,” they cheered. Obviously, I’m lying.

For what one historian says is the first time in history, a President’s request was denied. House Speaker John Boehner replied “Sorry, Buddy. No can do.How ’bout the next day?” J-Bone explained that Thursday would be better because Congress will be returning from hiatus on Wednesday and a mere few hours would be inadequate to set up the proper security measures for a Presidential visit.

Of course this is complete crap, because J-Bones real reason for denial is a GOP Republican Presidential “Debate” on MSNBC at the same time.

The White House is under no obligation to conduct the country’s affairs around the schedule of the people trying to have the same job in a couple years, but this was bush-league, lose-lose politics by Team Obama. Barry knew full well that proud-obstructionist Boehner couldn’t/wouldn’t back down. Even if Obama got his Wednesday slot, he’d look like a bully trying to drown out the opposition. Worse, pundits would use TV ratings to determine popularity; Obama would be expected to win ratings, but if he didn’t….uh-oh!

In the end Obama’s crew finally blinked (surprised?) and moved their show to Thursday. They’ll now compete against the NFL while the Republicans have Wednesday to remind the world how Tax cuts for the wealthy and slashing programs for the needy are actually better for the world.

"We want Sept 7, They want Sept 8. Let's compromise and meet them in the middle...We'll do it on the 8th."


Huntsman off the Party Line:

GOP Candidate Jon Huntsman continues to distinguish himself from his GOP counterparts and further cements his status as the Rational Republican candidate, far away from the extremist fringe that has taken over the party. The former Governor declared his distaste for tax loopholes that “cost American’s $400 billion a year”.  He wants to simplify the entire tax code, and “Get rid of all tax expenditures, all loopholes, all deductions, all subsidies, all corporate welfare.”

Those loopholes and deductions he mentions are in place to benefit Big Business, his party’s benefactors. One has to wonder: did this guy not get the memo? His platform is often in stark contrast to his GOP brethren who must be either scared of his centrist talk, or snickering at his party death march.

Don’t worry Republicans, Huntsman’s recently released Jobs Plan reminds us he’s still GOP at heart. One of the main tenets…(more…)

(Read the rest, Huntsman strays from the Grand Old Party Line in The Ryno Reports)

Hunstman wants to close Tax loopholes — NY Times

"Hey Jon, how about you and I start our own Party?" "No effin' chance, Sir"


Disgusting Iraq News:

A US cable released by Wikileaks shows that during a 2006 night raid in Ishaqi (outside of Tikrit), US troops executed at least 10 Iraqi civilians then ordered an airstrike to destroy the evidence.

Reports differ on what led to the raid: some say they tracked al Qaeda there; others say there was 25 minutes of shooting; others say nothing at all. What is known is that at least 2 men, 5 children and 3 women (including a 74 year old) were handcuffed and shot point blank through the head. Cell phone pics were taken by townspeople before the airstrike was called in.

The incident was reported through the proper channels, all the way to the UN, but the US denies the event so nothing was ever done. Is it any wonder why people over there hate our guts? They aren’t reaping any of the benefits that we promised them, only pain and tears. Bottom line: there is no such thing as a clean war. You have to expect gross things to happen when you give guns to young, unwise men.

Wikileaks shows slaughter of 10 Iraqi civilians in 2006 — McClatchy

Don't kids always just look so peaceful with bullets through their heads?


Tax the ‘Ti-toots!

Prostitution is legal in Germany (but being a Jewish prostitute is probably still frowned upon) and when businesses are legal, they get taxed. The government has a pretty easy time taxing the classier establishments like whore houses brothels, spas and massage parlors, but they’ve had difficulty getting street-walkers to pay Uncle Dirk.

Solution? Well tattooing serial numbers on forearms is now seen as slightly distasteful, so instead they’ve set up “Prostitute Meter Stations” around areas where Pros and Ti-Toots peddle their wears. Just $8 a day gives you a license to lay. Like meter maids, German cops will now check street-walkers for their whore-tickets. Word of advice for the Ti-toots…if cops say anything about bringing you to a shower…run!

German City Unveils Prostitute Meter — NBC Bay Area

"Honey, I was just paying parking, I swear!"


Smiths not getting Paid:

Back on August 16 I told you about Nate Smith, an 11 year old who won $50k for hitting an impossible 90 foot slap shot. Should be a happy story, but turns out the raffle ticket that won Nate the chance to take the shot was actually registered to his twin brother, Nick. Nick was outside of the arena when the ticket was called, so their father Pat just had Nate take the shot. Pat was plagued with guilt and wanted to set a good example for his kids, so he confessed to the switch-a-roo, leaving the fate of the prize to the insurance company. Good lesson, bad idea.

Now the insurance company decided the Smiths will not be paid. Instead they’ll donate $20k to Minnesota Youth Hockey Club in the boys’ names.  Small consolation to the boy’s who just lost out on cool cars free college education. Man, if this happened in my house, Pat would have years of “World’s Worst Dad” mugs/t-shirts to look forward to.

No cash for Nate/Nick Smith, miracle hockey shot winners — MSNBC from AP

"I have the worst dad ever...yay!!!!"


Ahh, Growing Up…

One of the great joys of growing up is learning to appreciate the beauty of one of God’s greatest gifts to man…cleavage. It is a great power to spy cleavage all around town, but with great power comes great responsibility.

An awkward lesson learned by all, but for this kid he learned it on TV. Man, I hope that’s not his mom.

Skip to :25 to share in this kid’s wonderment/embarrassment.

Most importantly, have a Horn-y Thursday


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