Crap you should read Wednesday (7/27)

Operation: Fucked Fast and Furious:

A few weeks back a 2009  joint ATF/DOJ sting operation was exposed as a giant clusterfuck, and now a House Oversight committee is bringing more embarrassing details to light.  Operation: Fast and Furious was an undercover sale of around 2000 GPS-tracked weapons to Mexican Cartels in hopes of tracking them and busting them. Instead the GPS batteries died and the thousands of weapons were lost and distributed to kill some more people.

A Congressional Report claims 122 of the weapons have turned up at over 48 different Mexican crime/murder scenes. Another 274 have shown up in the US, about a dozen of those at crime scenes.  The House Oversight panel is slamming ATF officials for a glaring failure to follow the guns, or do anything but wait for them to turn up at crime scenes. More than half of the 2000 guns are still accounted for.

So instead of curbing violence in Mexico and on our borders, we helped it flourish. This is just a brain-dead thinking by the people we trust to make decisions. Shit, Mexico had no idea that we were “helping”. Can’t imagine they’re too happy about us knowingly supplying cartels thousands of WORKING weapons.

What if the DOJ used this tactic all the time? Imagine if in an attempt to break a child porn ring, they shot a bunch of new kiddie-porn and released it on the net without tracking software. Or if they made a killer batch of heroin and introduced it into the market place in an attempt to “stop drug use” Its fun to play this idiocy game, at least when, you know, you’re not actually doing it.

Guns from US Sting found on dead Mexicans — Reuters

How Mexican killers got American guns — Christian Science Monitor

By a show of hands, who fucked up?

 

Killing the Tehran Project:

If you’re working on the Iranian Nuclear Program, you need some new friends. I’m not scolding you, I’m just saying your boys are being eliminated. Since 2007, four different high level scientists associated with Iran’s contentious Nuclear Program have been picked off, by bomb, bullet or poison. A fifth barely survived a car bomb.

Darioush Rezaeinejad was the latest to get picked off. Rezaeinejad was reportedly working on a nuclear detonator (hey, I thought it was a peaceful program, right?) and was gunned down by motorcycle gunmen outside of his daughter’s kindergarten.

Iran immediately came out to blame Israel and the US, but both just smiled and shrugged their shoulders. Israel has a huge vested interest in making sure enemies don’t get their hands on nuclear bombs, and that interest is survival. They usually just bomb the shit out of of the Nuclear site itself, but Israel could just be taking a different tactic now that Iran’s advanced program is tucked away inside a mountain . Of course it could just be Iran killing their own for spilling secrets to the Infidels or maybe just speaking out against the regime, and trying to blame their normal scapegoats.

Either way, its fun to hear just how Iran continues to lie about their “peaceful” nuclear program.. They’re obviously trying to build a bomb yet the majority of the world lets them do what they want so long as they continue to lie about it. I’m not sure who’s behind the killings, but I can’t wait for 50 years from now to read the tell-all book and see the Munich-like movie.

Who’s killing Iranian Nuclear Scientists? — ABC News

A mourner searches for the glory-hole to the 70+ virgins.

 

Stealing Freeman?

Morgan Freeman has taken some heat recently for doing a voiceover for a right-wing ad campaign for Wisconsin State Senate recall election. What sucks even for Freeman is that he’s taking the beating, but he never did the voiceover. Citizens for a Strong America either tried to pull a fast one on viewers, or they had absolutely no idea that their voiceover talent sounded EXACTLY like Morgan Freeman. I’m siding with the manipulative option.

It is pretty cool for Morgan to know that his voice is so trusted that people steal it to gain trust. Its also hysterical that we put Mr. Freeman on such a moral pedastal considering he banged his granddaughter for more than a decade. Sure it was his wife’s granddaughter, but he reportedly started with her when she was a teen, and this was a big bone of contention in their 2007 separation divorce. You don’t say! But he sounds so cool!

Of course Morgy can’t sue them for using his voice, considering its not his voice. But then again, Kim Kardashian sued Old Navy or using her likeness when it wasn’t her likeness, but another human being.

In any case, its a smart move by Citizens for Strong America, and much better that they couldn’t find their original go-to, Casey Anthony. Listen to the deceptive ad below…

 

Hernia, Shmernia, I got this

Glendale Police were probably pretty shocked to show up to a distress call and find a naked man on a lounge chair with a butter knife in his belly. For once you can’t blame the crazy wife, as the dude stabbed himself while trying to surgically remove a bulging hernia. Turns out he’s not a surgeon.

The Police were probably further shocked as they waited for paramedics to arrive and the man pulled his butter scalpel out and “cauterized”  the wound with his cigarette. The guy ain’t nothing if not sterile.

I’d like to picture this ballsy do-it-yourselfer as a proud member of the White Trash clan, but given its in Glendale, I’m assuming he’s Armenian and his name ends in “-ian”.  Needless to say, after the hospital, the man was dropped off in a psych ward for observation to determine mental stability. Um, they need to observe him to know if he’s stable? I read the last few paragraphs and I already have a good idea. Cut it out!

California man tries to cut out hernia — USA Today

You're in trouble if you seek medical advice from Dr. Joey Gladstone

 

Oh, Hugh:

Men worldwide look up to Hugh Hefner for all that he’s done for the nudity industry. Recently its been his “relationships” with hot Bunnies, 50 years his junior that have captivated our attention. We all like to wish we we’ll be banging hot chicks in our Twilight years, and it turns out, so does Hugh.

Hef was recently “left at the alter” by a disgusting bitch who was using the whole thing as a publicity stunt to try to sell a reality show.  Now former fiance Crystal Harris has some unkind things to say about Mr. Sexual Prowess’ actual sexual prowess while on Howard Stern’s show Tuesday. Harris says that she and Hef were only intimate once, and it lasted for 2 seconds. She also says that she has never seen Hef naked. While Harris should not be complaining about either of those things, she just continues to sully this man’s respectable name.

Hef took to Twitter today to show he ain’t no old man, and said Crystal Harris is lying. It’s ok, Hef. You know have TWO hot young girlies that won’t see you naked, but Harris is dating Dr. Phil’s son.

Karma is a bitch, and she still isn’t as cunty as Crystal Harris.

Crystal Harris exposes Hef for not exposing himself — Dailymail

Hugh says Harris is lying — Dailymail

 

I gained some respect for these chicks now that they didn't bang Hef. Don't get too excited ladies, you were starting at a level Zero.

 

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