Crap you should read this Weekend (7/22)

Atlantis Returns, Retires:

Atlantis returned to Earth Wednesday from a 13 day cargo run to the International Space Station, and its touchdown marked the end of the US Space Shuttle Program. After 40 decades, American’s finds itself without a way to get into space. For years we dominated the space race against Russia and now we have to hitch rides from them to go play in the ISS. We’re at least 5 years away from private space flight, and then more than a decade away from a NASA proposed mission to Mars or an Asteroid. Sad. Even more upsetting are the practical losses to be felt on Florida’s Space Coast without the Shuttle Program:

3,200 of the shuttle program’s 5,500 contract workers will lose their jobs on Friday…Within about a month, the contract workforce that totaled about 16,000 five years ago will tail off to about 1,000 people who will oversee the transfer of Atlantis and sister ships Discovery and Endeavor to museums.

It sucks all around, and a horrible example of how wasted government money hurts us in places we actually care about. Even if the tangible merits of the program might not seem worth the cost, you can’t put a price on what’s gained from collectively accomplishing BIG things. Maybe I’m a dreamer, but I learned to dream because of the Space Shuttle, so today is just a sad day.

Click on the article below to see the amazing final pictures of Atlantis final flight.

Space Shuttle Atlantis lands for Final time — Dailymail

After a long run, Al Cowlings pulls over to finally let OJ out.Â


Fishy Florida:

The State of Florida reportedly made $63 million from selling information from driver’s licenses. They claim the info doesn’t include Social Security Numbers or Driver’s License numbers, only name, address, date of birth and registered vehicles of the state’s 15.5 million drivers. The sales are legal, so long as the buyer doesn’t plan on harassing people with their new info by marketing, etc.

“Per federal mandate, there are companies that are entitled to this information. Insurance companies, for example, are entitled to this information. Employers are entitled to this information,” said Ann Howard of the Florida Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles.

A lot of people are pissed, but is this information “private”? We supply this same info everyday, its just weird that the state makes money off information it forces its citizens to provide. The part that bothers me the most is that there is no chance that this info doesn’t eventually end up in the wrong person’s hands, and could be a dangerous weapon for criminals, con-artists, etc.

Florida sells DL info for $63 million — Local 10 News


"If you let me, I can bring the Bullshit up"


What Would Tyler Hadley Do?

17 year old Tyler Hadley is the latest to fill our nation’s obsession for crazy Florida family murders. Hadley told his friend he was going to kill his parents, but his friend heard the threats so he didn’t believe it. Unfortunately this time Tyler meant it and bashed his parents heads in with a hammer. Then he hit up Facebook and threw a party while his parents lay dead in their bedroom.

As the party hit full stride, Tyler’s confessed the murder to the same friend and actually showed him the bodies in the bedroom. Then Hadley, ever the good host, went back to party. Hadley planned on killing himself the next day with meds (probably so he didn’t have to clean up, I don’t think he liked chores much), but his shitty friend told the Cops and they arrested him before he could try.

Hadley said his Mom’s final word, before she took death blow, was “Why?” That question remains unanswered but I’m assuming it had something to do with him being bat-shit crazy. By the way, hammer sales just skyrocketed at Home Depot for Kids…parents you’ve been put on notice.

Tyler Hadley showed parents bodies to friend at party — CBS News

I'm certainly not going to be the one to tell him that haircut is horrible.


KK is an Idiot:

Kim Kardashian is suing Old Navy for using an actress in their commercials that kinda resembles her. How fucking moronic and ego-centric is this bitch? I didn’t realize she had a copyright on “big-ass, voluptuous, attention-seeking whore”.

The lawsuit states that Kim “has invested substantial time, energy, finances and entrepreneurial effort in developing her considerable professional and commercial achievements and success, as well as in developing her popularity, fame, and prominence in the public eye.” Go. Fuck. Yourself. Kim isn’t world famous because of her clothing line; it’s because she pioneered amateur celebrity porn, milked off Paris Hilton, and banged a couple of famous black dudes. And you thought I was just going to go with her huge tits and ass.

Is there any coincidence that the model in question, Melissa Molinaro,is now banging Kim’s ex, Reggie Bush? Or is that proof to substantiate Kim’s claims that all black people think white chicks look alike? Either way, this is the way the chick looks, she shouldn’t change her appearance because she resembles someone famous. A ruling in stupid Kim’s favor would basically mean Molinaro should pay Kardashian royalties every time she steps out of the house. Moronic.

Can the court just dismiss the case with just a photograph of a middle finger?

Kardashian suing Old Navy for using model that looks like her – NY Daily News

If this girl could talk, and I didn't want to slap the crap out of here, then its definitely NOT Kim Kardashian


Monroe Porn:

An Argentinian man is selling what he claims is an actual 6 1/2 minute porn starring Marilyn Monroe.  Collector Mikel Barsa is trying to get $500,000 for the 1947 footage that was shot while Monroe was still a nobody named Norma Jean Baker. Unfortunately for Barsa, many dispute that its actually Monroe on the tape.

Marilyn went through a big time transformation when she was discovered; she lost weight, carried herself differently and  drew on a beauty-mark. This means the porn chick is fat, beauty-markless, and has a hairy bush (my assumption, have you seen those vintage porns?), so why would someone pay half-a-mil to watch this?

You becha! It’s the novelty of Celebrity Bush, that’s why. If you don’t know, then you’ve probably never rushed to click on a “nipple slip” or checked out Mr. Skin where 3 second clips are gold. Sure she’s been dead for 50 years, and we’ve already seen her naked, but come on porn is like Twitter, it just brings you closer to celebrities.

Marilyn Monroe Porn film up for auction? — Huff Post

Eggs and milk? Could this picture be any less sexy? What's under the blanket, steak and mashed potatoes?


Idiot Reporting:

MSNBC’s Contessa Brewer thought she was hot shit while discussing the negative state of the economy with Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL). After he disagreed with her view on the dismal state of the economy, Brewer tried to embarrass Brooks and attack his credibility. She busted out the ol “Yeah, well do you have a degree in Economics?” Uh-oh, he sure does! Not just any old degree, either;  Brooks earned his Economics Degree with Highest Honors. Oh yeah he also has a Political Science degree and a Law Degree.

Ms. should do my research before I ask questions Brewer was magna cum laude in journalism, but must have cheated because she forgot how to be a professional. She acted like an erudite bitch and tried to belittle her GUEST, but instead Contessa bolstered his credibility on the issue.

She’s an idiot, and she should be fired and forced to work the Saturday 6am shift. It’s a shame the video clip ends before we see Contessa get the shit slapped out of her by her producer.

Unfortunately this shit is commonplace in the war over bullshit played by MSNBC and Fox News. They both pander to their extreme bases, and leave actual news somewhere behind.

Watch the clip below and laugh at this poor excuse of “journalism” and great excuse to make fun of someone forever.


Wes Anderson’s Spidey:

Before Marc Webb (500 Days of Summer) took the helm of the Amazing Spider-Man, a couple of other directors were in the mix. Two of note were a couple of my favorites, David Fincher (Se7en, Fight Club, Girl with Dragon Tattoo) and Wes Anderson (Rushmore, Royal Tenenbaums). While Fincher makes sense, how the hell did Wes Anderson get invited to the comic book hero party?

I’m not the only one who pondered this question, as I found this horn-larious version of Spider-Man if it was directed by Wes Anderson. You will rarely see a better “impression” of a director, and the guy’s Owen Wilson is pretty damn spot-on too.

Watch the damn video and have a horn-y weekend…

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