Crap you should read Tuesday (7/19)

Rupert goes to Parliament

Rupert Murdoch went before Parliament today in regards to the huge hacking scandal that has rocked UK and the world. Many hung on Rupe’s every word to determine his involvement in the ridiculous invasion of privacy case that could land the Media Mogul in prison with his News Corp deputies. Of course he denies knowledge of the illegal activity, but do we really expect that Rupert just wielded the power gained from the pilfered information, without never knowing where it came from? No chance.

Basically every word he says was bullshit, so the true fireworks of the day came midway through Murdoch’s testimony when he was attacked by a foam pie in the face. Seriously. As if he just pitched a no-hitter, some dude who calls himself “Johnnie Marbles” ran up and tried to slam a pie tin of shaving cream in Murdoch’s face while screaming “you’re a greedy billionaire”. It was no “Sic semper Tyrannis”, but at least his tweet before the event will be remembered for a day or two: “It is a far better thing that I do now then I have ever done before #splat.”

Marbles was accosted before he could cause any “harm”, but the best part is when Murdoch’s wife, Wendy Deng, leaps over everyone to take a swing at the foam attacker. Take a look at the video below…

 

Israel v Iran

Right now the US has two aircraft carriers in the Persian Gulf, for the with a 3rd heading on the way. Some think this is just posturing against Iran, but CIA vet Robert Baer says the move is to actually prevent provocation and war between Israel and Iran. Baer is pretty respected, especially after having George Clooney portray him in Syriana, and his analysis is that war will erupt between Israel and Iran by September.

Hawkish Israel PM Benjamin Netanyahu has been itching to duel with Iran for some time, and has been trying his damnest to draw the US into the fray. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates held Israel at bay, but now that Gates is gone, Israel is back on the push.

Of course Israel has to protect its hide, and there are a couple reasons for the urgency. First Iran constantly calls for the complete destruction of the Jewish state, and if Iran’s boasting it to be believed, it will soon have Nuclear weapons. Second, there will soon be a vote for a 2 state Israeli solution, and if it passes, any new Islamic state next door will be a staging ground for horrible Iran-sponsored terrorists to barrage Israel with attacks.

What are our boats doing out there now? Trying to be the “mature ones” as we HAVE TO back Israel, one of our greatest allies, in any war, and if we partake in an attack on Iran, our credibility in the Arab world would be zero. Hopefully our presence will put a stop to it, but likely it will just draw us in further. Stuck between a rock and another damn rock (hey its the desert) and we’ll soon see if Gene Hackman and Denzel will be battling it out over launch codes in September.

Warships enter Persian Gulf, Robert Baer predicts September Israel/Iran war — Zero Hedge

"We're here to preserve democracy, not practice it. Now get me some damn hummus!"

 

Big Brother Traffic

New York City is about to unroll some Big Brother shit in Midtown; a high-tech traffic monitoring system that promises to cure traffic ingestion with the push of a button. 23 intersections will be under the eye of a mix of microwave sensors, traffic video cameras, EZ Pass readers and other traffic gizmos.

Though this could prove beneficial to understanding and relieving traffic congestion patterns, but make no mistake Hornballs, this is easily a tool of Skynet-ian proportions. EZ passes track your movement, and can paint a picture of everywhere you drive. Random pictures of your face taken on HD traffic cameras will work in conjunction with facial-recognition software and can/will identify you and track you all across town with ease.

This is the future Sarah Connor warned us about, and its coming to Midtown to help Cabbies drive like assholes!

 Big Brother Traffic Center in Midtown NY — CBS Local NY

"Yes sir, we found Robert Horry. No wait, false alarm..."

 

 There will be (straight) blood

Aaron Pace, 22, was rejected from donating blood to the blood bank because he was gay. Except he wasn’t gay, just really, really, really effeminate.

I know you’re probably thinking, “Holy Shit, that’s hysterical,” and while you are 100% correct, an embarrassed and humiliated  Pace is correct when he said “It’s not right that homeless people can give blood but homosexuals can’t.” Man, those homeless have it so easy!

By the way, its completely legal to deny gays from giving blood as well. It derives from the 19AIDS-ies when butt-sex gave everybody the HIV, or so I was told in school. But all blood is tested for the HIV nowadays, so any Gay Plague excuse is bullshit. Some estimate that blood banks deny 219,000 pints of blood each year on the gay ban alone.

That’s 219,000 pints of fashion, sensitivity and Bravo watching that could be shared with needy recipients, but turned away.

Man rejected from blood bank for seeming gay — Yahoo

Yeah. I kinda get it.

Sheen’s Anger

Charlie Sheen finally has a show again, but not really. See he has a concept for a TV show, well he saw it on a movie once, and got other people to say he’d be good in it.

The show is based off the Sandler/Nicholson movie, Anger Management, and oh-s0-chill-Charlie will be playing the role of the mild mannered guy mistakenly put in Anger Management classes. Except they will probably change his name from “Dave” to “Charlie”.

Oh, did I say he has a show? No, that’s just what they want people to believe so it builds buzz. Right now Sheen’s team is runnin on a dream and shopping their “idea” to Networks in a 10 episode trial, but no one is jumping at the show at all.

#Annoying

Charlie Sheen’s Anger Management a go — LA Times

The face of Winning, the smile of a crack head

 

Another Bad Ass Dog

Two armed robbers busted into a smoke shop. While it appears they got away with some snuff, the shops attack-Chihuahua ran the robbers out the store without anyone being harmed.

Drop the Chalupa…have a Horny day

 

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