Crap you should read Monday (7/18)

Casey Anthony Released

Crazy Casey was released over the weekend, and is reportedly fearing for her life. Can you imagine that there is someone out there that wants to harm this poor woman? She is such a victim.  Continuing her fuck-the-system tour, Anthony forgets she got away with murder even though she admitted lying to police, and reportedly has plans to actually fight her convictions for lying. Seems she doesn’t like how that sullied her reputation as an honest murderer.

Now that she is free, some people are threatening to hurt or kill her, so in the irony of all ironies the murdering mom can get police protection.

This isn’t sitting well with J-Smitty who rants on in The Ryno’s Horn definitive wrap-up of the entire ridiculous situation.

Casey Anthony, are you kidding me? — J-Smitty on The Ryno’s Horn

Casey heads for peace in Saywatanayo


Rudy! Rudy!

Its often said that Republicans love small government, but just small enough that it reaches into your bedroom. Former NY Mayor, Rudy Giuliani thinks the GOP should buck this trend, especially in regards to Gay marriage.

“I think that marriage should be between a man and woman…but I think that the Republican Party would be well advised to get the heck out of people’s bedrooms and let these things get decided by states.”

Of course he gives the old let-the-states-decide cop out, but its nice to hear him acknowledge that the Federal government shouldn’t tell you who you should fall in love with or bang. He wants the party to focus on their fiscally responsible roots, rather than religious roots, and going back to protecting the rights of the rich.

Gay marriage is a red herring issue. Its the “abortion” of this decade. Its a divisive issue that gets people riled up on religious grounds, and gives people who hate a reason to vote. Its something to distract from real issues that plague our country and makes middle America think that Republicans “get them” even though they could care less about them.

Rudy’s statement shows that there is at least one Republican who doesn’t want to run on hate, and telling people how to live their lives. It also shows he recognizes that its tough to woo intelligent independents have no interest in voting for a platform of hate. Hopefully other GOP contenders will follow suit, but that would basically kill about 90% of Michele Bachmann’s platform.

Giuliani says GOP should drop gay marriage issue — Huffington Post

"Stop! You look fabulous!!!!"


Newscorp Hacking Scandal

The News of the World phone hacking/blackmail/bribery scandal rocking the UK took a couple of new victims this weekend. Paul Stephenson stepped down as Chief of the Metropolitan Police Force (aka Scotland Yard), amid rumors of his involvement. Besides shady things like hiring former NotW employees for PR positions, many question how Scotland Yard’s 2008 investigation into the hacking mysteriously came up with nothing. Although Stephenson denies wrongdoing, it surely looks like he was looking the other way and trying to ignore the issue.

Rebeka Brooks was also arrested Sunday, and as one of Rupert Murdoch’s top deputies, she is the highest ranking member  of the Murdoch empire to get pulled in so far. The question becomes just how high up the authorization of the more than 4000 illegal wiretaps on just about anyone newsworthy went, from top Politicians to celebrities to the families of murder victims and dead soldiers.

Public trust in the press, police and politicians is completely shaken now that EVERYONE realizes Murdoch and his media Empire were pulling the entire country’s strings. Murdoch had everyone in his pocket thanks to his organizations illegal tactics, and the world is furious. The FBI is investigating whether or not News Corp has the same influence (and illegal tactics) over here in the states. Fox News and their power over the Republican party comes to mind…

Scotland Yard Chief resigns over News Corp hacking scandal — LA Times

Rebekah Brooks was excited to learn Rupert appointed her Editor of his new project, "News of Women's Cell Block D"


US Women Disappoint

Things looked good for the US Women when they took a 2-1 lead late in Extra time against Japan in the Women’s World Cup. Unfortunately they were unable to hold on and Japan tied it up before time expired, then lost the game in penalty kicks. Its hard to say that the girl’s choked because Penalty kicks are so arbitrary, but its just fun to say the girls choked anyway. Especially Hope Solo who gave up the 3 penalty kicks. Hope Chokes sounds like TBS’ first foray into soft-core porn.

Many are giving the old “Japan deserved this” because of their recent shitty situation with the Tsunami. I’m sorry, does anyone really think that women playing soccer makes up for your life being destroyed by the sea? I’m sure there are plenty of people dying from radiation poisoning who are just thrilled that Japan pulled it out in penalty kicks. Do the people who need the uplifting moments most even have frickin TV sets anymore?

I will say is that soccer is one of two sports (tennis the other) that the women play just as exciting, or more so, than their male counterparts. American agrees with me as the Women’s World Cup final earned an 8.6 TV share, which was higher than the damn MLB World Series. You got it, more people watched America’s chick soccer than watched baseball, our national “pastime”. Is this a testament to the rise of women’s sports, or the rise to soccer?

I’m just happy now that I won’t have to talk about soccer or chick sports for 2 more years.

Don't worry ladies, Silver is soooooo in right now


Harry Potter Rules

Voldemort isn’t the only one scared of Harry; Bruce Wayne, Jake Sulley and Jack Dawson are watching their backs as Mr. Potter shattered all kinds of box office records this weekend. Harry’s franchise finale started with the highest grossing single day ever (more than $90 mil worldwide) and took in the largest 3-day weekend ever with $168.5M, eclipsing Dark Knight‘s $158.4M. Oh, lets not forget the international take which brings the movie to a $475.5 million box office draw in just a few days.

Of course Potter is boosted by expensive 3d ticket sales that Batman wasn’t privy to, but it will be interesting to see how long Harry can hang on to these crazy figures once the first wave of Potter-geeks have all seen the movie.

Personally, I have a date with my Mom to see Deathly Hallows 2 tonight, so hopefully a glowing Synema Synopsis will result, assuming I don’t violate my parole by being within a certain radius of Harry’s biggest fans.

Harry Potter breaks all box office records — Deadline

Emma tries to stifle one of her infamous "Opening Night Nerve-Farts"


Semen Yogurt

Anthony Garcia was indicted last week on charges that he handed out yogurt samples made with a little too much love. It seems that Garcia was taking advantage of Sunflower Market customers, and ejaculating into the “yogurt samples.”

Garcia’s extra ingredient came to light after one woman thought her yogurt sample tasted a little too much like bodily fluid. Two questions immediately surface: a) how much of said fluid has she ingested to be so damn sure, and b) how much nut was Garcia dropping into the yogurt; doesn’t he know that the recipe calls for one part semen, 2 parts yogurt?

Garcia claims he had no idea that semen was on the spoons he used to serve the samples, but the DNA matches Garcia’s. Did anyone check the brownie samples?

Man indicted for putting semen in grocery store yogurt samples — MSNBC

Shouldn't have eaten asparagus that day, bro


Bad Ass of the Day 

The title today actually goes to a dog. Weird I know, but this dog attacked a shark! No word yet on how the dog could swim with brass balls, but the video is worth watching if only for the fact that Aussies could narrate anything and it’d be entertaining.


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