Crap you should read this Weekend (7/15)

War Games:

The Pentagon announced yesterday that they were hacked back in March, and over 24,000 documents were pilfered from their databases in one single heist. It wasn’t some AntiSec kids either, it was a foreign government. They got in by hacking into a defense contractor’s system, then stole sensitive info on DOD systems like aircraft and surveillance. Rumors are that plans for a top-secret weapons system were also stolen, forcing us to redirect and redesign the project.

The influx of recent cyber-attacks makes its painfully obvious that we’re ill-prepared and ill-equipped to handle this kind of terrorism. That’s why the announcement was made at a speech at the National Defense University in DC where they’re gathering to lay out the DOD’s “first ever strategy for operating in cyberspace”, a comprehensive strategy for unified web security. I think the expression is “10 years too late.”

The Department of Defense has been very vocal that acts of cyber terrorism are acts of War against the US. The fact that we didn’t do anything points to one thing: China was behind it.

Top Secret Weapons system stolen in march hack of DOD — Naked Security

Pentagon hacked, 24,000 files stolen — Politico

Deputy Defense Secretary William Lynn works on his William Murray impression


Bad Pot Luck:

Mexican authorities busted their largest ever Marijuana farm found in Baja Mexico, more than 300 acres with a street value of $160 million. The  120 tons of herb was covered by common screening, so it wasnt’ until Soldiers on the ground walked up that they realized the true nature of their find. 60 workers fled the scene, but soldiers might have been too “distracted” to hunt them down.

Needless to say, this is a huge bust, and there will be some cranky people in southern California, to be sure. Troops will burn the fields to destroy them, and downwind there will be one helluva fiesta followed by one helluva siesta.

Mexico busts largest Pot farm — Yahoo

Smiling? You don't say...



Michele Bachmann is awesome in her terrifying way. If she wasn’t so scary, I’d want to vote her in just to see the lengths she would go to embarrass herself.

Michele took her story On the Record with Greta van Sushtyrisngk…blah, and broke out her best Yiddush to refer to Obama and his stimulus plan. She bungled it of course, and sounds like a huge idiot.

Of course she’ll probably spend a week trying to convince us that her pronunciation is correct, and we’ve been saying it wrong for generations. That takes a lot of chootz-pah.


Shaq joins TNT:

In the most obvious signing of the off-season, TNT has added Shaquille Oneal to its studio ranks. The Big Prognasticator will join Ernie, Kenny at the desk while battling it out with Charles for least intelligible sentences. The only surprise from this is that he probably could have earned more on a European tour for a season or two, but apparently Diesel’s legs are just too damn creaky to carry around his gargantuan frame any longer.

No word yet on how Turner will accommodate the Big Inseminator’s brood on family day.

Shaq joins TNT studio crew — Deadline

Instructions for viewing: Turn off the bass, turn on the subtitles


Blind leading the Blind:

Oxford researchers are developing glasses using video cameras, facial recognition software, motion detectors, and tracking software that will allow vision-impaired people to “see”. This isn’t a cure for complete blindness, just more along the type that can see light and some shadow, but not distinguish features. It will transmit color patterns back to the wearer that will help it distinguish shapes from each other.

The glasses will hook up to, and be powered by an accompanying smartphone, and will hopefully help the blind function more independantly. At least until the battery runs out; then they’re fucked again.

This is just one of the many inventions reported recently to help the blind. Recently a woman had a telescope implanted in her eye to increase light absorbtion, and others have announced a microchip that can be implanted in the retina.

Ugly wives, you have been put on notice.

High tech glasses to help the blind see — Telegraph

I didn't realize Moby was blind


Water Logged: 

The British Medical Journal has pretty much denounced the claim that we must drink 6-8 cups of water a day. The BMJ says this is mostly unfounded hogwash, and in some cases, this much water can actually be detrimental to our health by flushing out too much.

The water claim dates back to a 1945 medical journal, and has been perpetuated by water companies over the years. One such blantant perpetuation is the Hydration for Healt group that met in Evian France last week, and they proposed 8-10 glasses for optimal health. Hydration for Health was created and funded by French food giant, Danone (Dannon here in US) who bottles Volvic, Evian, and Badoit waters. Conflict of interest, much?

You always have to consider your source and ask yourself who’s paying for the information you receive. Chances are you are being fed propaganda, someone always wants you to buy something. You know what helps wash down propaganda? Water.

This message was paid for by Zephyr Hills.

British Medical Journal says 8 glasses of water a day is bullshit — Huffington Post

Colbert doesn't swallow this water non-sense


WTF? of the day

Serena Williams showed up to the ESPY’s on Wednesday, and there isn’t a story there. Just this picture, and I still don’t understand the physics of it all.

Have a Horn-y weekend.

They don't have seats at the ESPYs?

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