Crap you should read Monday (7/11)

Religious America:

Those of us that live in big cities forget that America is an overwhelmingly religious place. A Gallup poll released last week shows that 3 out of 10 Americans think the Bible is the literal word of God (of course they forget the original Bible had to be translated because it wasn’t written in English). Half of Americans believe in the Bible, but not literally. About 20% think its just a collection of made-up legends and fables.

The beliefs blatantly play out along educational lines; the more educated you are, the less likely you believe the Bible is the literal word of God: high-school education or less believe the literal word 46%; 15-16% of college and graduate school educated people believe it.

Conservatives (46%) and Republicans (42%) are much more likely to take the Bible at its literal word as compared to Democrats (27%), Independents (23%) and those that call themselves Liberals (14%).

The big takeaway from this: even though a plurality don’t take the Bible literally, about 4 out of 5 Americans believe in the Bible. This is why someone like Michele Bachmann isn’t laughed off the stage when she says that every single decision she makes in life comes from a dialogue with God.

In US 3 in 10 say they take Bible as God’s literal word — Gallup

"The president of the United States has claimed, on more than one occasion, to be in dialogue with God. If he said that he was talking to God through his hairdryer, this would precipitate a national emergency. I fail to see how the addition of a hairdryer makes the claim more ridiculous or offensive."—Sam Harris in Letter to A Christian Nation (2006)


Jeter gets 3000+

Derek Jeter made history this weekend in a BIG way. Coming into Saturday’s game, the Yankee captain needed 2 more hits to become the 28th player in baseball history to reach the 3000 hit milestone. He got the first one early, then smacked his 3000th hit into the NY stands.

We all know Jeter has a flair for the dramatic, but this was the guy’s first homer at Yankee Stadium since July 2010, and only the 2nd time someone hit a homer for the milestone (other was Wade Boggs).

Surprisingly, Jeter is the first Yankee to ever get 3000 hits, and he was a little nervous about it:

“It was one of those special days. Coming in, I’ve been lying to (the press) for a long time saying I wasn’t nervous and there was no pressure…I felt a lot of pressure to do it here while we’re at home.”

Christian Lopez, 24, caught the home run ball, and in the nicest move made by a New Yorker in 10 years, he just gave the ball to Jeter! This kid could have sold it for a ton, or bribed Jeter and the organization like the Barry Bonds ball guy did. I hate to say it, but the Yanks responded in a classy manner and gave Lopez  4 season tickets for the rest of the year as well as other memorabilia.

So the world will get caught up in sucking Jeter’s dick for a while, so let’s take this time to recognize those who already did just that: Adriana Lima, Jessica Alba, Vida Gerra, Mariah Carey, Jordana Brewster, Jessica Biel, Tyra Banks, Vanessa Manillo, Lara Dutta, and my personal favorite and reason I hate him Minka Kelly.

"Let's not all start kissing Jeter's ass at once"--The King (2011)


Yes, Soccer:

Can you tell that both the NBA and NFL are on Lockouts? America cares about soccer! At least for another few days, thanks to the US Women and their dramatic comeback win against Brazil. The US situation looked dire with the team playing shorthanded for almost half the game, and some shady refereeing (always in soccer, the dumbest rules ever for a pro game) almost cost the game.

US Goalie (and coolest name ever finalist) Hope Solo overcame a shitty cheating call that gave up an earlier goal, and stymied the Brazilians when it counted in the end. The US won 5-3 on final shootout penalty kicks, but it was Abby Wambach (Go Gators!) header for the equalizing goal with only seconds left in the 2nd Overtime that will be remembered for days years.

Admittedly, I missed the game because I was flying back from Austin, so I was shocked to see the Twitterverse on fire about the Women’s World Cup. And it wasn’t just chicks. I saw plenty of dudes, and many of my friends, tweeting celebratory shit that I will surely use to pick on them for some time.

The US will now take on France in the semifinals, which means were inching closer to that time America is bored with soccer again.

Alas, no one continued the great tradition started by Brandi Chastain, so I give you Wambach's header


Amputee falls out of Rollercoaster, dies:

Sgt. James Hackemer, a 29 year old Army veteran who lost his legs in Iraq, was killed after he was thrown from a Roller Coaster outside of Buffalo. The poor guy fought for years to recover from losing his left leg, part of his right leg, his hip, a few resulting strokes that required him to relearn all basic skills. God bless him, Iraq wasn’t exciting enough, so he dared the coaster instead.

When the sign says “you have to be this tall…” is that with or without the fake limbs? I’m not saying this to be an asshole, its just common sense. On a coaster with a 200 foot drop, and reaches speeds of 70 mph, you get tossed around, the Gs pull you to the side, ITS YOUR LEGS THAT KEEP YOU IN THE DAMN CAR!

Who let him go on this ride?

Army amputee dies after falling out of NY Roller Coaster — Huffington Post

RIP Sgt. This is kinda like Steve Irwin dying from a sting ray

Octomom on Today:

Octomom took her 8 toddlers and one older daughter to the Today Show to demonstrate how great a mother she is. FAIL. You have to watch this video to see just how pathetic and delusional she really is. The kids run around the set wreaking havoc, as kids tend to do, yet Nadia rambles on like she’s on Meth. The hosts, as well as the 9year old, do a better job parenting than Suleman does.

Poor kids, great TV.

Octomom and her kids wreak havoc on the Today Set — USA Today


Space Shuttle Coolness:

NASA is pumping out the cool space shuttle footage like it’s going out of style, well probably because it is. The Space Shuttle Program is ending, which sucks, but at least it will make us savor the awe-inspiring moments, like this totally awesome shuttle back-flip, a little bit more. Its a 9 minute maneuver, but sped up for your viewing pleasure.

Have a Horn-y Monday.

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  1. abby wambach’s a gator.

  2. I’m sorry. Did Suleman said that she now has management. Pardon me while I now light myself on fire.