Crap you should read Tuesday (7/5)

Obama Dead?

Fox News’ Twitter followers were given a little 4th of July surprise when hackers sent out some some tasteless wishful thinking Tweets.

Hacking group Script Kidd3s sent out a number of Tweets saying that President Obama was shot dead while in Iowa and even went so far as to give details and wish Vice President Joe Biden good luck on his new job. Classy stuff.

Obviously the rumor is not true, as today Republican’s aren’t cheering their asses off. The Secret Service is investigating, but I am sure that Fox News security footage will show Glen Beck smiling ear to ear as he exited the building for the last time.


Pakistan is supporting Terror:

The New York Times reports that Pakistan is supporting terror, even while taking the US $20billion in anti-terror funding. A former Taliban Commander confirms in detailed intel that Pakistan supports and is directly involved in the Taliban movement in Afghanistan. The Commander discusses how Pakistani military trains the Taliban and helped them re-group and grow after the US nearly wiped them out following 9-11. The entire operation is/was funded by Pakistani Intelligence (ISI).

Pakistan has long played both sides of the terror front to ensure their foothold in the region and to win allegiances in their ultimate battle with India. The American government has long known about their duplicitous game, we have tried to remain diplomatic because of our tactical need for their help. The Paki spot was blown worldwide following their involvement or lack thereof in the Bin Laden raid, and now the US has to re-evaluate whether we keep sleeping with the enemy, or even keep paying for the lovenest. It might seem easy to just cut off aid, but its a difficult balancing act: our safety on one hand, with the need for an important foothold in the region for our war in Afghanistan and our fight against terror, on the other hand.

Oh the games you play when you fight over deserts and mountainous terrain.

Pakistan supporting Taliban — New York Times

"Baby, you have to believe me. It wasn't cheating! It was purely sexual with Taliban, no feelings, I promise."


Bell Rung:

The brains of the NFL continue to ache, and this has nothing to do with a lockout. Former Packer running back Dorsey Levens has turned into a filmmaker, and his first venture is bringing concussions and player health to the forefront in his new documentary “Bell Rung”.  The players open up to Levens because of his NFL pedigree, and tell the man (and his camera) that they all play through the ridiculous injuries because of the tough-guy culture they thrive in. Basically, its what’s expected of them by their peers, and more importantly, the coaches who decide who plays or not.

CNN describes one of Leven’s interviews with Philadelphia Eagle, Ellis Hobbs:

Ellis Hobbs likened his spine to a jelly doughnut, saying that one of his vertebrae “squeezed out the back end” when he took a jolt to the head during a kick return in 2009…Doctors cut into the front of his neck and shifted his voice box to the side so they could reach his spine. Entering through the back of Hobbs’ neck was too dangerous. Doctors then took a vertebra from a cadaver and “slid the bone in there like a Jenga piece” to prop the neck back to its natural position…

“After that, they take a titanium plate and they slap it on the front of your neck and bolt it down so it can heal right, and then afterwards, once it heals, you can either take it out or keep it in,” Hobbs said, explaining that he left it there because he didn’t want to go back to the doctor. “It doesn’t bother anybody.”

The crap that these guys go through to play this game astounds me. There is no argument you can make to sway me in thinking the Players get paid too much…its never enough. Lets just hope the new Collective Bargaining Agreement addresses more player health/safety issues, because as the players get bigger and stronger, so will the injuries.

Dorsey Levens makes movie to highlight Concussions in NFL — CNN

Coach Kilmer denied comment for this interview



Transforming old footage:

Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon has earned $181million in its first 6 days in the US, and had the biggest Independence Day opening ever. It brought in another $217 overseas to bring its total so far to $400 million.

In glass is half empty news, this is the 9th highest 6-day domestic opening of all time, and far less than what Transformers 2 opened to. The numbers also show that less people saw the movie, with over 60% of the domestic rake coming from 3D and IMAX which are higher priced tickets.

In a bizarre tidbit, the intraweb is aflutter with some footage that might be a bit embarrassing for director Michael Bay. Some of the shots used in TF3 look eerily similar to shots from Bay’s 2005 film The Island. Is this just directorial laziness or is it pretty damn resourceful?

Michael Bay recycles old footage for TF3 — The Guardian


BadAss Chick of the Day:

Neighbors watched as an unattended 2 year old, Zhang “Niu Niu” Fangyu, dangled out from her 10th story window for a few minutes. Fortunately for Niu Niu, 31 year old Wu Juping was passing by.

“It was so urgent. I saw her when she was about to fall and rushed there, and after tens of seconds she fell off.”

Wu Juping kicked off her heels, took off, and caught the falling baby with her outstretched arms. She then explained the ordeal is as few exciting words as possible.

“I thought to myself ‘I should stretch my arms to her. Because I am right here, I must get her.’ Then I made it. I caught her in my arms.”

Juping broke her arm in the fall, and Niu Niu has some internal damage, but last I checked that’s better than splattered on the sidewalk.

Woman catches baby after 10 story fall — Huffington Post


As part of her cosmic punishment, Juping saves Niu Niu every day, yet never gets a "Xie Xie"


Dumbass Escape of the Day:

19-year-old Maria del Mar Arjona went to pay a nice conjugal visit to her husband serving a 20 year weapons sentence in a Mexican prison. Maria was stopped when leaving because she was lugging a huge bulky suitcase with great difficulty. Low and behold, she was stopped, her bag was “searched”, which basically means it was kicked til it groaned. The bag was unzipped and out popped Juan Ramirez Tijerina.

Personally, I think it was so obvious that they should have hung the bag from the ceiling and Pinata’d it for hours.  Of course, one has to ask how she was able to bring this monstrous human-sized suitcase into the prison in the first place without arousing suspicion, but I am sure they will take their rightful place back alongside other unauthorized prison-gifts like nail-file cakes, boxes of flowers shaped as tommy-guns, and large posters of Rita Hayworth.

Mexican suitcase prison escape foiled — Fox News Latino

And you thought your dildo was embarrassing


Baby you’re my Firework

In honor of the 4th, a weekend where we all celebrate how our forefathers fought for White Man’s Independence from Britain, I found some cool stuff about what the 4th really means to all of us….Fireworks.

The article linked below describes in details how fireworks are made, and its pretty cool shit. It tells you how they get the colors and shapes of the pretty explosions that amaze your kids, but make your dogs pee on the floor.

The signature chemicals in fireworks each emit light at a specific wavelength, producing a specific color: strontium equals red … copper equals blue … barium equals green … sodium equals yellow/orange. Just as you could combine crayon colors when you were a kid, combining the colorant chemicals can give you additional colors. Strontium (red) plus copper (blue) equals purple.

The shapes of the exploding lights depend on how the basic fuel and colorant pellets have been packed. If the explosive charge in the shell is in the middle, surrounded by a ring of pellets of sodium, when the timer fuse sets off the explosion, it ignites the sodium pellets and shoots them out into that familiar nice round yellow/orange circle. Two rows of colorant pellets around a central “bomb” gives you a double ring.

I’m sure you all saw enough fireworks last night, so I’ll leave you with this video of 5,000 pound of confiscated fireworks the NYPD destroyed so that white trash wouldn’t hurt themselves.

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  1. - Half-naked Mexican prisoner busted while trying suitcase escape... Juan Ramirez Tijerina was caught by guards at a jail in…