Crap you should read Weekend (6/24)

OJ’s Fake Confession:

There’s a lot of confusion going on in tabloid-ville after The National Enquirer broke a story that OJ Simpson confessed to killing Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman to an Oprah Winfrey producer. He had to, it was self defense! Although Oprah publicly invited OJ’s confession, her people deny that such a confession was ever made. Regardless, the Enquirer had some juicy tidbits.

The fake story has Orenthal James embarrassed and irate over his treatment by Nicole after he ran into her and the kids at a restaurant. He later went to her place to tell her off, screamed and banged at the door, until Nicole finally opened it wielding a knife. OJ had to bust out some old-school Juice moves to avoid the slashing, then flipped into “self defense: mode.

‘”I was in such a rage that something just snapped. I couldn’t take her constant taunting of me with other men or her using drugs and drinking while my kids were living with her. I went beserk.

‘”Before I knew what I was doing I took the knife away from Nicole and started slashing at her. I cut her over and over again until she was lifeless. I was shocked at my own anger – I had killed the woman I had loved for so long..”‘

There are two things to point out here. First, its not really self-defense any more once you disarm the significantly smaller, non-linebacker woman. It’s not self defense anymore when you also kill the guy who caught you killing the first person.

Second, has everyone forgot that this guy already confessed? OJ spelled out the murders in great detail in his book if I DID IT. The only one who’s surprised is Oprah who just saw her dream story get broke by the Enquirer.

OJ confesses Murder to Oprah Producer? — Dailymail

Will OJ Confess on TV? — NY Mag

OJ finds it tough to find chicks for conjugal visits when, you know, they're dead.

 

No Jews on Delta

Jews and Israelis are no longer allowed on Delta flights to Saudi Arabia. Delta recently signed a partnership with Saudi Arabian Airlines, which already bans Jews from their planes, so of course Delta has to now follow suit.

While insulting, its not like Saudi Arabia will let Jews or Israelis in their country anyway. They govern by strict Sharia hate filled Law, so if you even have an Israeli stamp in your passport, you are not getting into the Kingdom, its that simple. So who really cares if they can get on the plane?

Its just moronic that Delta didn’t know or care about this enough to do something about it.

US Jews not able to fly Delta to Saudi Arabia — Religion News Service

****Update: Delta says they don’t have any signed partnership, only that they have a standard interline agreement with Saudi Arabian Airline for transfers, etc. The Saudi Kingdom says it doesn’t withhold visas based on religion, but didn’t deny that they won’t let people in with Israeli passport stamps. This also just in: why would  a Jew want to go to Saudi Arabia anyway?

Delta responds to Jew-hating rumors — MSNBC

"So whatdya say we check out Yemen instead?"

 

Nuclear Scientist Plane Crash

A plane crashed earlier this week in Russia, and among the 44 dead were 5 nuclear scientists. The 5 apparently all worked on the Iranian Nuclear facility at Bushehr and one of their tasks was making the facility earthquake (read: bomb) ready. 3 were top designers and 2 were top technological experts, so their deaths will allegedly be a big blow to Russian and Iranian nuclear programs.

Sounds like an accident right? I’m sure that there was no foul play associated, right? This doesn’t sound like something Israel or the US would do now would it? Ok, let’s keep it moving, nothing to see here.

Nuclear Experts killed in plane crash designed Iran’s facility — Haaretz

"It looks like our answer..." (put on sunglasses) "...just fell from the sky."

 

Tennis Grunting Gross?

Apparently Wimbledon viewers are “Turned off” from the intense “Grunting” coming from the players. People in charge are discussing with officials how to limit the grunters to make it more enjoyable for the fans. If they really cared about our enjoyment they wouldn’t have let Simona Halep get that breast reduction surgery.

Asking them to cease the grunting is the dumbest thing ever. They’re going to tell the elite players in the world how to play the game? Sure it’s always a little weird to see these hot chicks in their short skirts grunting like baboons in a Lincoln-Douglas debate, but its how they build that extra oomph to hit the ball moderately hard.

Wimbledon might outlaw Grunting Female Players — Huffington Post

Hey Simona, how's your career fared since you spit in God's face?

 

LiLo Maturing

Lindsay Lohan has changed; she is a new, more responsible adult. She has no alcohol in her life, she respects the law, and she is serious about her career. Of course that makes no sense since she in under house arrest, failed a blood test for alcohol, held parties at her house, and continues to be an all around lying bitch.

Matt Lauer flew all the way to California on Tuesday to interview LiLo in her Venice cell apartment, yet once he was there, Lindsay made him wait downstairs while she tried to blackmail him for more money. Although the Today Show has a policy against paying money for interviews, NBC agreed to pay Lindsay $50,000 for “photos and videos” besides the interview. But when Lauer got the house, Linz locked herself in her bedroom and refused to come out unless Lauer agreed to give her $100,000 for her 15 minutes on camera. He left, and she bitched about her unfair treatment in the media.

Her transformation into adulthood has been astounding thusfar.

LiLo stands up Matt Lauer to bilk for more $ — NY Post

Classy

 

IT pranks with porn

Walter Charles in Charge Powell, a disgruntled former IT Guy, is in hot water for some of his revenge tactics after he was fired. Using his old, un-cancelled passwords, Powell spied on some of his former co-workers, and then sent out their emails to others to screw with them. He also took it upon himself to hack his boss’ computer, and set it up so Porn played during a PowerPoint presentation.

Of course this sounds pretty damn funny, but when police showed up to investigate the hacking they found guns and homemade silencers. Uh oh! Now Powell is serving his 3 years of probation (and 100 community service hours) for the prank, but faces Federal Charges for the weapons.

By the way, a recent survey says 1 in 3 IT guys spy on their co-workers. The #1 reason why: because they can. (Damn you Rodrigo!)

Never fuck with the IT Guy.

IT guy gets revenge on former employer — MSNBC

I am Spell Check

 

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