Crap you should read Tuesday (6/21)

Obama’ing off Stage at the RLC:

Things were going so well for Reggie Brown. The Obama impersonator was killing it with Obama jokes in front of the Republican Leadership Conference this weekend. The crowd was loving him as he ripped Obama, but turned when he made a dreaded mistake he’ll never make again…Brown cracked a couple of jokes at Republicans. Aghast, the RLC pulled Brown off stage and set the universe back in order again. How dare the comedian make jokes about them????

More importantly, how dare the Republicans have an Obama impersonator at a LEADERSHIP conference? This wasn’t a birthday party. How much disrespect can you give to the very office you’re having a conference to figure out how to win? That’s just damn poor taste. It’s also just another example of the perfect manicuring required to manipulate their “constituents” to actually believe the thinly veiled crap they spew.

The great thing is, rather than talking about how wonderful Republican “leadership” is, the conversation is now about how the “leadership” freaks out and stymies free speech when they don’t like what you have to say. How do you think that’s going to play in the Sarah Palin “protecting Free Speech, you betcha” circles?

Obama impersonator kicked off stage when starts Republican jokes — CNN

Those who want to live in  glass White Houses should not throw stones

 

Death to Death Penalty?

The Death Penalty Costs California around $184 million a year, and maybe $4billion since the law was reinstated in 1978. Even crazier, only 13 executions have taken place in that time, so one could say that it costs around $308 million per execution, for legal fees and death row housing/security. The lag between conviction and execution is approx 25 years, and the LA Times says it costs the state more than 20 times as much for a death row inmate as it does a life-without-parole inmate. California currently has more than 700 death row inmates, so you do the math.

Other states have begun to phase out the death penalty for this reason (don’t believe the moral crap) and now California, with their mounting budget concerns, might have to soon make the same decision. How can you justify spending that much on killing people, when your living people need the money and support more?

As liberal as I am, I firmly believe in the death penalty; there are just some people who don’t deserve to live and others that are too dangerous to let live. I’m glad I’m not the one who has to make the decision or throw the switch…but I don’t kill the cow, or slice it, but I still eat the damn meat. I just don’t understand why it takes 25 years to flip the switch. It costs way too much money to house these guys, so either scrap the program for some time (is it worth all those billions for so relatively few people?) or figure out a way to flip the damn switch sooner.

California Death Penalty costing billions — Huffington Post

"I spent $308 million and all I got was this burnt T-shirt"

 

Airbust

So Airbus built the A380, billed as the world’s largest passenger plane. It has a wingspan of about 262 feet and can seat about 550 passengers in a 3 class configuration. Airbus wanted to show off its gem at the Paris Air Show, one of the main aviation trade events for Europe. Unfortunately, while taxiing at the airport, the plane’s wing clipped a building. Of course the damaged wing (and pride) kept the A380 from demonstrating its humpback-whale-in-the-sky beauty, and now Airbus is embarrassed by two such collisions in just a couple of weeks. I’m not so sure that a Trade Show was a good place for this to happen.

I don’t mean to point out the obvious, but you know how this all could have been avoided? Build a smaller fucking plane.

World’s biggest plane clips wing on building at Air Show — Dailymail

"There's something on the wing! Some...thing...No wait, you got it."

 

.what?

The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN), the body that controls domain names, etc. has finally removed the barriers on domain server names. For example, no longer need you be bogged down by the complexitites of .com or .net, but now you can have .whateverthefuckyouwant

It will be affordable for everyone too, if everyone ponied up $185,000 that is. This high price tag will keep you from seeing stupid shit like .donkeydong or .trannylove and only intelligent names like .coke and .alQaeda

ICANN approves new domain names — LA Times

I'm just gonna go find a cash machine....

Jackass Done

Around midnight Sunday,  Ryan Dunn posted a picture of himself getting shit-faced with friends. At 3am the likeable Jackass‘s car ran off the road and into a tree. The car was engulfed in flames, and Dunn and a friend died. The cops said “speeding played a factor.” So did the tree.

I’m not one to say I told you so, so forget the drunk driving speech. Instead, I give you Ryan Dunn’s his finest work to remember him by.

Jackass’ Ryan Dunn dies in car crash — TMZ


 

Jennifer and Justin, BFFFFF

So last week Justin Theroux’s girlfriend moved out of their house. Many assumed it was because he’s been shagging Jennifer Aniston for months. The couple has stayed relatively mum about the affair, but now Theroux has moved into Aniston’s mansion, and the two are now wearing matching jewelry (see pic below).

To be clear, I have wanted to bang Aniston since her Rachel Green days, but in the last 10 years she seems to have fallen father down the “respect” tree than I’d have liked. She is constantly telling magazines how much she wants to be in love, then she falls in love with every co-star she ever has. I think she is now a full blown Professor of Pathetic.

That being said, she looks terrific and I still have dirty thoughts about her, so I’d surely move into that mansion to be her boy-toy. But the matching ring and watch? How gay is that? How can you wear the same jewelry as your girl that you are “Secretly” dating? Did you think no one would notice the big clunky ring and gold watch? Shit, even the Situation would find that gaudy.

Who am i kidding. I’d wear a matching gold lamet bra if I got to bang her on the regular.

Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux have matching gold rings, more than friends — Dailymail

Somewhere, Ross is crying and listening to U2

Still love Stewart

Yesterday I gave you Jon Stewart and his ballsy and wonderfully eloquent spanking of Fox News while being interviewed by Chris Wallace AT Fox News. Of course Fox News played an redacted version where Stewart’s most salient points about Fox’s absurdity were edited out.

Naturally, Stew-beef was more than pleased to further embarrass them for it. Watch below…

 

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2 Comments

  1. Dude tried leaving a caption, couldn’t find the spot on my phone

  2. It is touching to see you love affair with Jon Stewart unfold. Stand by your man!

    It is interesting to watch his bit where he fakes the screenshot on Huffington Post, followed immediately by a rant about a TV show editing their program. Great irony.

    Jon Stewart may be interested in reading this book that studies bias in media.
    http://www.usnews.com/news/blogs/washington-whispers/2011/06/16/book-liberal-media-distorts-news-bias
    Here is the abridged version…
    The people that take jobs as reporters and work their way up to programing and executive levels are liberals, their bias shows in what they select to report and what they filter out. (Washington correspondents declared that they vote Democratic 93 percent to 7 percent, while the nation is split about 50-50). Watching television news and entertainment (as opposed to reading books) has a liberal bias. So biased, that it makes Fox News look extreme.(full disclosure, I don’t watch Fox…except when Ryno posts it)
    It is like calling a 6’3″ guy short, when he plays in the NBA. Okay, short when compared to other NBA players, but not to the American population in total.
    The author’s premise is that Fox is only extreme when compared to PBS, ABC, CBS, NBC, and Comedy Central(?). Extreme when compared to other news outlets, but not to the American population in total.