Crap you should read Weekend (6/17)

Weiner Pulls Out

NY Representative Anthony Weiner resigned from Congress Thursday after mounting pressure from news pundits and fellow politicians came to a head. Although Weiner was rock hard in his pledge not to resign in the wake of the junk-pic and sexting scandal, Weiner finally went limp and pulled out of his seat.

Keep in mind that Weiner did nothing illegal or corrupt. He never cheated on his wife, or his country. While gross to some, all Weiner did was flirt with women. And now after almost 20 years of faithfully representing his constituents in NY, he was forced to resign from a political career because the media decided to rabidly cover the story.

Although most hoped he would go all Budd Dwyer (see below) at his Press conference, everything went as expected…Weiner came, then he left.

 

 

Shaq Behind Armed Robbery?

7 men were arrested for armed robbery and kidnapping of a man named Robert Ross, which wouldn’t normally be news except the men might have been sent by Shaquille O’Neal. TMZ reported that a few years back, Ross and Shaq had beef over the Big Diesel screwing Ross out of a 50% commission for bringing Ray J to Shaq’s record label as promised. Ross then blackmailed Shaq by threatening to release a sex tape of the Big Philanderer which showed him cheating on his now ex-wife on security cameras from Ross’s home.

Fast forward to February 2008, Ross’s Rolls Royce Phantom was surrounded by 7 gang bangers with guns who kidnapped Ross to one of the their houses in South Central LA. Once there, they demanded the Shaq sex tape, which he promised to eventually give them. They then stole his jewelry and $15k in cash, then let him go. Now that the men have been tracked down and arrested, Shaq’s involvement has come into question. To make matters worse, Police say that there is no sex tape, and that it was erased some time ago by Ross’s security system. Embarrassing….

Although he is not listed as a suspect, it seems pretty obvious that Shaq had something to do with it, right? How else would 7 gang bangers know about a secret sex tape allegedly held by Ross?

Shaq behind Armed Robbery and Kidnapping? — TMZ

"Hey Cell Bock D...tell me how my ass taste"

Obama’ing  Libya:

That White House is taking heat for possible abuse of War Powers in regards to the “conflict” in Libya. The War Powers Act (instituted in the wake of Vietnam) mandates that the President seek approval to go to war from Congress. Sure, the Pres can lead small incursions, but they are limited in time and scope. So now it comes down to an issue of semantics. If the Libya affair is considered a “war”, then the 90 day deadline passed for it to be a “legal” incursion without Congressional approval. So naturally Obama says that the US isn’t involved in a “war” there, NATO is. He further explains that we are just providing air support for NATO, and no American boots are on the ground, therefore the statute of limitations is meaningless, and we can still be there without Congressional approval. This is laughable of course, as we are NATO.

You still following this? The issue gets even trickier if the Libya conflict is labeled a “civil war”. We cannot choose sides in a Civil War without similar approval from Congress, which is why the White House is saying the conflict is not a civil war, but rather support of a people rising up against a dictator. Unfortunately the media is starting to refer to it as a civil war which obviously is troublesome for Obama, who needs to keep public support on his side.

After all, we are involved in “conflicts” in 5 countries (Libya, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Iraq) and they can’t all be wars right? If they were, we wouldn’t be seen as the arbiter of peace, now would we?

Is Obama avoiding the War Powers Act of Congress?

Associated Press says Libya Conflict is a Civil War — Huffington Post

Obama was thrilled the first time he met Capt. Lou Albano

 

CIA Website Hacked

LulzSec strikes again. The hacker group that hit the US Senate Website earlier this week just hit the CIA website as well. Once again, no information was compromised in the CIA network, just the main page on their website. It’s pretty much a big middle finger to the Central Intelligence Agency. Pretty ballsy to wake the sleeping intelligence giant, if you ask me.

The whole thing seems to have been sparked by a Twitter dare by another Hacker group, Quadrapocadone, who called out LulzSec for only hitting “soft targets” and using Denial of Services as their route to disorder. Quadrapocadone then suggested LulzSec hit the FBI or CIA, so then like some kid trying to get into Quadrapocadone’s pants, did exactly that.

I think its cute that these hacker groups flirt with each other. Sure LulzSec was dared, but who is behind the dare to begin with? There is ALWAYS a reason, and its usually money, so who’s paying for these hacks and why?

LulzSec hacks CIA Website — Gawker

"Dear Dragon....WAKE UP!!!!!"

 

Hef Gets Screwed

So Playboy playmate Crystal Harris was supposed to wed Hugh Hefner, but she pulled out just 5 days before. While her PR agent will spin it as “cold feet” Crystal had this planned the entire time. She actually intended to literally leave Hef at the alter, with cameras for a reality show running the whole time, of course. The 25 year old playmate was shopping around this horrible show and a tell-all interview for a cool $500,000, but got no takers. So instead she dropped the bomb on Hef the same day she released a record single, and the same day she released a video on Funny or Die to maximize her exposure.

Oh yeah, she was also banging Dr. Phil’s son the entire time too.

So basically Hef gave this girl a life, and the disgusting, conniving bitch used and abused the 85 year old pimp. Sure the 60 year age difference brings doubt to the sincerity of the affair anyway, but I thought this 3rd time would be a charm.

Crystal Harris is a complete bitch — WWTDD?

Crystal smiles while trying to find the off-button for Hef's pacemaker

 

Sean Bean is the Bad Ass of the Week

Its been an interesting week for Sean Bean. The same week as this guy is in the news for one of the most surprising twists in TV history, Bean was at a London pub with a playboy model, April Summers. Some douche was obscene with Summers, so in a very Ned Stark manner, Bean rushed to defend her honor. Later when Bean went back out for a cig, the same douche snuck up and cold-cocked Bean in the face then stabbed him in the arm with broken glass.

What did Bean do? Bleeding and bruised, he shook it off, walked back in the pub, and ordered another fucking drink!

Bad. Ass.

Sean Bean is the coolest dude on Earth — WWTDD

"Winter is coming...Get me a fookin' beer."

 

Bosh’s ex-wife is Scumbag of the week

Naturally wanting to exploit anything and everything to do with the Miami Heat, VH1’s Basketball Wives, the pathetic show that lets talentless women be famous for banging talented men, tried to sign Chris Bosh’s ex-wife Allison Mathis to the next season of the show. Bosh was obviously furious that his ex was going to be exploit his name and his life for her own gain, so he sued VH1 to keep her off the show. VH1 didn’t want the suit, so they just dropped her from the cast. Now Mathis is suing Bosh for “intentionally, knowingly, maliciously, and without justification” interfering with her employment.

Lady, your “employment” was going to be embarrassing this man and sullying his name. Its his name, not yours. The show is called basketball wives, yet you arent married to a basketball player anymore. He’s moved on with his life. You already used this man enough, now your suing him because he’s not letting you exploit him? You are his baby’s momma, take care of your baby and shut your mouth.

Chris Bosh sued by ex wife for keeping him off Basketball wives — Miami New Times

"I mean did you SEE Game of Thrones?"

 

Grandma hit in Head

Who likes to watch old people get knocked on their ass? I knew you did, that’s why I gave you this…

 

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