Crap you should read Monday (6/13)

Lebron blames G-d on Twitter:

After last night’s loss to the Mavs, LeBron took to Twitter and Facebook to make himself feel better. He tweeted:

The Greater Man upstairs know when it’s my time. Right now isn’t the time.

I’m sure he’s not referring to Pat Riley, but it seems to me that LeBron is removing himself from the equation by saying G-d decided it wasn’t his time to win. Its refreshing to hear a top player blame G-d for a loss. It’s only fair considering G-d gets so much attention after good things like wins and hitting jump-shots, that we all forget he’s responsible when we lose too.

The question remains if Riley and Spo are going to keep G-d on the roster next year after he so blatantly preferred the Mavs this year.

So does this mean he was "Chosen" to lose?

Weiner takes his dong to rehab:

NY Rep Anthony Weiner is taking a short leave of absence from Congress, and going to rehab to cure his masturbatory evils. Many in the House, on both sides of the aisle, are calling for his resignation, but Congress didn’t vote Weiner in, his district did. Some of those crazy Jews are still behind him but not in front of him, so Weiner is opting for the “I hope something else happens in the meantime so they’ll forget about me” technique.

Over the last couple days, more damning evidence continued to pile onto The Weiner, and besides new creepy pictures, now it appears he may have had communications with a 17 year old follower. Weiner’s office denies anything illicit in their conversations, but do denials from that office mean anything anymore?

While bloggers dig into that juicy nugget, I’ll give you Bill Maher and Jane Lynch reading the infamous facebook convo between The Weiner and the Las Vegas blackjack Dealer.

NSFW

 

Palin Emails Released

Alaska released tens of thousands of Sarah Palin’s emails from when she was Governor, and while there were no bombshells, it proves she can work a computer. The emails also paint an interesting behind the scenes and unfiltered version of the woman. They show her as a political newbie, who was kind and showered praise on those who did her well, though on the other hand often distracted by petty political squabbles and viciously protective and defensive responding to rumors about her and and her family.

I am the first one to say that I attack her intelligence, but she is no reh-tard. Though she is a horrible public speaker and doesn’t have an improvised thought of her own, she isn’t dumb. She knows the politics game. The problem is that she came in a genuine local mayor-turned governor, a determined woman passionate about certain issues, but she was even more focused on better-dealing her way out of Alaska and into the VP spot long before McCain came knocking at her door.

I don’t think she will run for President again, but she still might try to get her name on the ticket as VP again. But its a guarantee she’ll find a way to make millions off this, and every future election (Don Trump style). She is also petty enough to put all her energy into bringing down the Big O, so prepared for that show over the next year or so.

Palin email’s show an involved Governor with a strong eye on the VP seat — Huffington Post

Palin emails released — Washington Post

 

Reporters carry out  copies of Palin's Chain Letters after she forwarded "If you send this email to 8 people, you'll be Vice President" over 80,000 times

 

Russell Crowe likes natural penis

Why is our country suddenly in such a tizzy about circumcision? And when did Twitter become all about dong? For some reason Russell Crowe took to Twitter late last week to bash the Jewish practice of circumcision. After one of his followers asked if he would circumcise his newborn, he went off and tweeted these tidbits:

“I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats but stop cutting yr babies…Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature? Is it real that GOD requires a donation of foreskin?…Hygienic? Why don’t you sew up your ass then?”

Crowe has taken a lot of heat over these statements, but he stands firmly by them. Until this morning. Now he’s taking it back. Even the funny hats one. He and Jew friend Eli Roth are saying his tweets are just jokes between friends taken out of context. I just think its yet another moron who hasn’t figured out the pros and cons of social media.

But Crowe truly thinks the ritual is barbaric. Dude, I for one, am so grateful for this “Covenant with G-d”, and thankful my parents put me through the 1 second of pain that I don’t remember one bit to make this transition from a snail-with-a-hoodie to smegma-less beauty.

Is it safe to say that Russell Crowe is uncircumcised?

Crowe takes to Twitter to fight barbaric circumcision — The Guardian

Crowe on the set of "The Moyle"

Tracy Morgan anti-gay rant

Tracy Morgan went on an anti gay-tear and has now released the obligatory apologies. Many are questioning the sincerity of Morgan’s apologies, first because he’s a raving lunatic, and second because he made the statements in his June 3rd show, but waited until the 10th to offer apologies. This is all tough talk from a guy named Tracy, but here’s some of the wonderful quotes he shared at his 6/3 stand-up.

“Gays need to quit being pussies and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying…Gay is something that kids learn from the media and programming…[my son] better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I’ll pull out a knife and stab that little n-gger to death……Barack Obama needs to man up and quit being all down with this just because he has a wife and two daughters…”

“I don’t fucking care if I piss off some gays, because if they can take a fucking dick up their ass… they can take a fucking joke.”

In my opinion we should never look too far into racist bits of comedy. Comedians are out there to make people laugh, and sometimes go to extremes to make that happen. My problem is when comedians preach their true feelings, then hide behind the fact it was part of their bit. Tracy is obviously extremely homophobic.  The other thing is that Tracy Morgan is also insane, so we shouldn’t care what he has to say. It should be used as another example to teach your kids the proper way to hate people…keep it to yourself.

I can’t wait to see how far people push this, and whether this comedian is fired from his job for making really bad jokes. Has his stand-up ever been funny anyway?

Tracy Morgan apologizes for Anti-Gay Rant — CBS News

The surprising part of the story is that they let this guy have kids

 

Jack White throws Divorce party

Jack White and his wife are celebrating their 6th anniversary by getting a divorce. The happy couple sent out an announcement to friends and family commemorating the event:

“Karen Elson and Jack White announce today that they are getting divorced…We remain dear and trusted friends and co-parents…We feel so fortunate for the time we have shared and the time we will continue to spend both separately and together watching our children grow…In honor of that time shared, we are throwing a divorce party…An evening together in Nashville to re-affirm our friendship and celebrate the past and future with close friends and family…[there will be] dancing, photos, memories and drinks with alcohol in them….This is only for close personal friends and family. So please no plus ones or dead beats.

It’s very sweet that you want to prove to the world just how adult and comfortable you are about your divorce. Its also very sweet that they could care less how ridiculously uncomfortable they make their friends.

Jack White and wife throwing Divorce party on their 6th wedding anniversary — People

Let us all hope "Divorce Party 2011" is more fun that "Abortion Jam 2009"

 

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