Crap you should read Wednesday (6/8)

Iran sends Subs into Israel’s back yard:

Iran has sent two subs through the Gulf of Aden and into the Red Sea. The official mission is to collect data on all combat ships in the Red Sea, but unofficially the only reason to announce such a mission was to scare the shit out of Israel. The Red Sea isn’t anywhere near Iran, so “provocation” seems to be the only rational reason.

Parking subs in the Red Sea can give Iran the ability to shut down the Suez and control shipping lanes that would screw with Israel, and impart their will on any other country on the Red Sea.

Israel obviously doesn’t take too kindly to the idea that these subs can creep so close to their shores, especially when the current Iranian regime constantly speaks about wiping Israel off the face of the Earth. Now that the international community has allowed Iran to start a Nuclear program, regardless (or because of) the fact that Russia is overseeing the program, Iran will have nuclear arms soon.

I also just heard that Disney is buying the rights to the story, and turning it into a family comedy with Aziz Ansari playing Ahmadinejad, The Rock as Netanyahu, and Ben Affleck playing the Iranian sub XO trying to wrestle control away from Captain Kevin Costner doing his best Persian accent.

Iran sends two subs through the Red Sea — Reuters

Ben Linus knew his days on the Island were numbered when he saw Ahmadinejad climb out of the Dharma Sub

 

Facialbook Freaking people out

Facebook’s facial recognition system is causing quite the stir. Sure its cool that it make the process of “tagging” easier, but think about how this can actually make your life worse. Anyone in a relationship knows how bad Facialbook can mess things up, but now your face can be auto-tagged in numerous places and blow your spot with your significant other. There are just some pics you don’t want to be associated with, especially the stripper/bong photos, yet somehow your boss and your Preacher cousin will now see them before you wake up in the morning to un-tag yourself.

Besides the shady boyfriends who will hate this program, everyone must realize the Minority Report slippery-slope we are sliding down. Facebook already collects and stores a ton of information on you, and now it will be tracking your facial features too. Your face will now be attached to all this collected information, and can be easily accessed by anyone. Think government, hackers, scam-artists, crooks…anyone can have all your information, and track your whereabouts within seconds, only by taking a photo. This can be taken by a cell-phone, a traffic light cam, or even a spy camera. One snap, and all your info can be attached to it.

Cool huh? Complete loss of privacy and making yourself track-able to the world is completely worth the ease of not having to “tag” yourself in a pic, right?

Facebook Facial Recognition is causing a “privacy” stir — Reuters

"For the last time Facebook, I AM NOT Carrot Top!"

 

Tiger Pulls Out

Tiger Woods pulled his name out of next week’s US Open in Bethesda due to injury. This is the first time Tiger has missed the Open since his debut in 1994. Bottom line is that left knee and Achilles tendon he messed up in Augusta a couple months ago, are still messed up.

Tiger’s strength comes from the torque his body throws behind his swing, and its that very torque thats destroying his already-injured knee. It just puts too much pressure on it. Doctors warn him that if he comes back too soon he could damage it worse.

Who knows how long he’ll be out for, but we do know that El Tigre hasn’t won since since November 2009, and many question whether or not he’ll ever recapture the magic he had before he broke his face on his wife’s golf club and drove his Escalade into a tree.

Regardless, Tiger will be watching the Open from his couch just like the rest of us. Unlike the rest of us, he’ll be doing so accompanied by 4 blondes all named Ashley, and one dude named Rutherford.

Tiger pulls out of US Open due to injury — LA Times

Tiger falls into one of the "Black Man Traps" at Augusta

 

Endeavor Retires to Cali

The space shuttle Endeavor recently completed its final mission last week after 19 years of flight and 122,883,151 miles of travel. Endeavor‘s mission to the International Space Station was the 2nd to last mission of the Space Shuttle program, and Endeavor will eventually be retired to the California Science Center in Los Angeles.

When I was a kid, I used to clip out every article I could find from the Herald about Shuttle Launches and space flights. I still have a folder from the 1988 Discovery launch, the first mission in space after the Challenger disaster, so it’s sad for me to think that NASA Astronauts will have to hitch rides to space for the foreseeable future.

In any case, back in May, a Russian Soyuz spacecraft was leaving the space hotel, and was able to catch some awe-inspiring shots of Endeavor docked at the station. I highly recommend clicking the link below to see the best pictures from this week that aren’t tagged with the word “Weiner.”

Ultimate Space Portrait released by NASA– MSNBC

"What? $5 a gallon? Screw it, we'll go to the next one."

 

Nicolas Cage’s Son Arrested

Nicolas Cage’s son, Weston, was taken to the hospital after an altercation on a street corner in Los Angeles. Details aren’t immediately clear, but I’m sure it involved a lot of over-acting, dramatic mid-sentence pauses, facial contortions, emphatic hand shaking, and a loud “Wooooooo!”.

In any case, I’m just glad I had an excuse to show the picture below of Nick with his 20 year old son who is trying ridiculously hard to stand out from the Cage/Coppola name.

Nicolas Cage’s son hospitalized after fight – LA Times

Weston Cage isn't just Nic's son, but also the only person who liked Ghost Rider

 

Nintendo takes us to Wii-U

Nintendo unveiled its next game console, the Wii-U. I think my Mom is already waiting in line for it. The Wii-U’s defining feature is a large controller with a 6.2 inch screen in the middle. This could very well be one of those Revolutionize-the-industry things, the same way the original Wii controller was. The screen can be used in a static mode where you watch the game on the screen itself (for old people who cant see the TV), or can be used as a 2nd Augmented Reality screen to add further depth to the game  in conjunction with whats on the TV. So if its a shooting game, you can have the main scene on the TV in front of you, but your gun’s sights on the controller in your hand.

Or if you are playing Wii Porn, you can have the naked Princess on the TV screen, and use the controller to look around the room to check to see if her husband, Mario, is coming home.

Nintendo unveils new game console Wii-U — MSNBC

Follow The Ryno on Facebook and Twitter or email ryno@therynoshorn.com