Goldy’s Nuggets

Filter-less Musings, Observations, and Mini Rants

 

When the end comes, will you have more regret for what you have done, or for what you have not?

 

You have to throw the boomerang to get it to come back

 

If you’re thinking about marriage, just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

 

If it’s nobody’s fault, it’s everybody’s fault.

 

Older women who go for younger men are called Cougars. Older men that go after younger boys are now called (Nittany) Lions.

 

They say time is money but really it’s not. If we ever go broke then time is all we got. — J. Cole

 

If you don’t vote, you don’t get to complain.

 

It it’s pouring rain, you’ve got a phone in your hand and “Baby on Board” suction-cupped to your window; you obviously don’t care. Neither will I.

 

After your happiness has passed, the memories of the pain and struggle that got you there will be what gets you there again.

 

If you’re going to make me pay for parking by displaying a ticket on my windshield, you’re also going to make me litter.

 

You want an honest answer? Ask an asshole that doesn’t benefit from the answer.

 

Even Third World economies are based on supply and demand. If you give me another sob story, and there will be less demand.

 

A decision that will be made eventually is best made now…it will only get more expensive later

 

They say that if you follow your passion, the money will come. I guess starving artists are just doing it for the chicks.

 

Sometimes when it rains, its just drizzling. Don’t be a pussy.

 

When Life gives you a lemon, don’t waste your time making lemonade. Just suck the lemon and keep on movin’.

 

By now everybody knows it’s called a Tramp Stamp. If you get one I’m going on the assumption you’re just showing some personal pride.

 

If you’ve got a cross dangling between your fake breasted cleavage, I’m not staring, I’m silently praying. Or am I???

 

Never ask a question or offer an opinion unless you’re prepared for the possibility the response might be “Mind your own fucking business!”

 

Why T.G.I.F.? You should thank Him every day if you believe in that sort of thing.

 

What goes around comes around? Sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy of a guilty conscience.

 

When you come to a fork in the road, remember that you can always go back and take the other path. Just don’t tell anybody you fucked up the 1st time.

 

Yesterday at a gas station, a kid from Teens Against Alcohol and Drugs tried to sell me peanut brittle for $8. I told him “Sorry kid, I’m no hypocrite.”

 

A minivan is the 1st sign you’ve given up

 

There are two pains in life. There is the pain of discipline and the pain of disappointment. If you can handle the pain of discipline, then you’ll never have to deal with the pain of disappointment.

 

Civil Unions? Sounds like a married couple that’s not having sex

 

There are 5 rules in sales. Rule #1: always ask for the money… I forgot the other 4.

 

If I’m paying more than $5 to valet park, don’t expect a tip. If you have a problem with that, take it up with the management.

 

There’s no such thing as an “ethical dilemma”. You know what the right answer is, you just don’t like it.

 

If it’s personal to you and business to the other person, you’ve already lost

 

If you don’t want your daughter to grow up to be a whore, don’t dress like one when you take her to the mall

 

Next time you give something to a homeless person and they said “God bless”, tell them that you’re already blessed, that’s why I’m giving you the money

 

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. But that doesn’t mean you can’t think it.

 

If you have “Respect Me” tattoed across your fake boobs, I can guarantee you I don’t.

 

If you don’t want me to hit your pregnant old lady with my car, try not jaywalking

 

I don’t understand the tip jar at fast food restaurants. You want a tip, go somewhere and become a waiter