Crap you should read Monday (5/23)

Obama v Pakistan:

In an interview with the BBC on Sunday, President Obama made a startling revelation about US policy to get terrorists.  Obama said that the Bin Laden raid wasn’t the exception, but rather the rule for US policy in taking out high-value terrorist targets, regardless if they have “permission” from the country they conduct the attacks in. Of course he specified that he’d prefer to work alongside the host country, but that just means they’ll call if they have to.

It also means that at this point, we trust nobody when it comes to sheltering terrorists, especially our “ally”, Pakistan. In a cleverly worded statement, Obama said “We’ve killed more terrorists on Pakistani soil than anywhere else, and that could not have been done without their co-operation.” So out of one side of his mouth he’s saying we had Pakistani help, but he’s also implying that there are more terrorists being sheltered in Pakistan than anywhere else.

While its not quite Bush’s “with us or against us” speech, Obama is taking the House MD route and saying “you’re lying, but we don’t care because the fucker’s dead.”

Obama says would go into Pakistan to take out any high-priority terror targets — CNN

Obama, its cool that you are confident enough to pull off the cross-leg, but dude, pull up your socks

Paralyzed Oregon Man Taking Steps

Last week, Doctors announced that an Oregon man paralyzed since he was hit by a car in 2006, is now able to stand and take steps again thanks to an experimental spinal implant. He received the implant in 2009, and the implant itself emits electronic pulses to tell his body what to do. Rob Summers can now stand for up to four minutes and with the help of a special harness, has begun working with a treadmill.

Not only is this a huge advancement in a cure for paralysis, but wives across the country are excited about a chip that controls their husbands’ movements.

Spinal transplant helps paralyzed man walk again —

The new bungee jump ride at the paraplegic center is all the rage

Tree of Life wins Cannes

Controversial, recluse filmmaker Terrence Malick’s latest ambitious movie  The Tree of Life, has been awarded the Palme d’Or, Cannes highest honor for its “best picture” of the festival. This is a pretty crazy pick as the movie starring Brad Pitt and Sean Penn was both booed and applauded after its showing. Normally known for his beautiful imagery but boring movies, Malick (The Thin Red Line, The New World) tells his view on life, the universe and everything after through the eyes of a 1950’s dysfunctional family. Its apparently a real trippy movie that really connects with some, but puts others off. You know, kinda like very other Malick movie you heard was really good but had no desire to go see.

Watch the trailer below. They’re clearly going after the Jews with the Hatikva playing in the background.

Tree of Life wins Cannes Film Festival — Entertainment Weekly



Weekend Box Office

This weekend was pretty much all about Pirates, as Johnny Depp rules again, chick comedies prove they have little box-office clout, and Thor doesn’t have the Marvel-ous staying power of some of its cousins.

The 4th Disney-Depp movie took in a lower than expected (but still high as shit) $90 million in the US, but raked in a record-breaking $256 million overseas. Never the bride, Bridesmaids came in 2nd this weekend bringing the total gross for the comedy up to $60 million, and making that $100 million mark attainable for the chick flick. Thor took 3rd, surely feeling the hit of the loss of 3-D screens to Pirates. Fast 5 and Rio closed out the top 5, both bringing their international gross up to $320 million.

So basically, this tells us that our affinity towards ambiguously-gay pirates remains strong, but we still are kinda unsure about having chicks make us laugh.

Box office figures — USA Today

"The big secret is that I'm not even in wardrobe! These are me own clothes!"

Dark Knight Rises

The first picture of Bane was released from the latest Batman movie, and leave it to Chris Nolan to figure out a way to make this often ridiculed character look scary as shit. Nolan and his team have really figured out how to play the social marketing game, and how to intentionally leak info to their fan-boy press. Rather than let the rumor-world swirl about his movie, he uses the system to periodically leak pictures and information to whet the whistles of Batman-geeks without disappointing their rabid comic-sensitivities.Nolan knows it’s much better to release a picture of Bane saying “look how cool this looks” rather than having it leak to Perez Hilton, and have him bash Bane for looking like a steroid Gimp. Its basically acknowledgement that they’re HUGE tools, but powerful tools with computers that help skyrocket his movies into the James Cameron stratosphere.

First photo of Bane from Dark Knight Rises — Batman-news

Tom Hardy dressed for the gay Batman pornographic musical "The Dark Knight Rises"