Crap you should read Thursday (4/28)

Birthers Aborted?

The White House released President Obama’s birth certificate yesterday. That should quiet the Birthers, right? No chance. Barry had to know that this would only lead to further conspiracy theories about the authenticity of the document itself. Some of my readers have told me they’re upset with Obama for waiting so long and putting our country through this. To that I say, “huh?”. He already released this years ago, its just some people weren’t satisfied. He had to go and talk on Oprah, so now it has to be the truth.

This was just a HUGE distraction caused by a Jerk who wants free air time to sell his narcissistic brand, and a Party base who wants the nation to argue over trivial sound bites that paint our leader in a negative light.

Obama tried to turn this into an overall statement on the pettiness perpetuated by Cable news, but that message will probably be lost by, you know, Cable news. Not smart to insult the very DJ’s you need to play your songs.

White House releases Obama’s birth certificate — CNN

Obama Addresses Birthers, Blames Media for wasting our time — Huffington Post

Now the rumor can be put to rest: Obama is not the Messiah

Obama makes big Cabinet changes

The President made a couple big moves today. First, he named current CIA chief Leon Panetta to be the new Secretary of Defense. The former Clinton Chief of Staff will replace Robert Gates as the Pentagon transitions in the face of significant budget cuts. Panetta was integral in negotiating with the Bush White House over budget cuts in 1990, so many see him as a strong choice to be a steady figure during the current cuts, all while overseeing a Country in at least 2 wars.

Another big Obama move today was nominating General David Petraeus to be CIA Director. The General’s current gig is leading US Military Operations in Afghanistan, a job he got for saving our collective asses from despair when he took over in Iraq. He’s a bureaucratic Bill Parcells (before the Dolphins) and a natural choice to run our Intelligence Army Branch. Oh yeah, he’ll also have to oversee our secret wars and incursions. Little known fact: the CIA only needs a “Presidential Finding” (basically a signed permission slip from POTUS) to invade another country. It’s soooo much easier than Congressional Approval, and it’s our preferred method to fight terrorism since 9/11.

Obama names Panetta new Secretary of Defense; nominates Petreus for CIA chief — Reuters

"If Badass is here, then I'd say I'm about right"

Arnold shopping T5?

He said he’d be back, and the Arnold wasn’t kidding. Schwarzenegger recently announced his return to acting and his agents at CAA shit their pants. They lumped Governator together in a package with director, Justin Lin (Fast and Furious 5) another CAA client and are shopping it around as Terminator 5.

Of course this is all part of a big push by Arnold to stay relevant since he can’t run for President. He also recently announced a partnership with Stan Lee and Marvel to create an entire “Governator” cartoon and comic universe. Bringing the Terminator brand back after it was sullied in many eyes by a misguided TV series and a misdirected McG movie. Truth be told, I liked Terminator: Salvation. I thought it was a cool movie; just was a waste of the Terminator brand. Just like Live Free or Die Hard, it would have been a much cooler movie on its own, without the history and expectations of a favorite character or two weighing it down.

Here’s my issue with bringing Arnold back for another round of Terminating: Why the hell would the Machines build an old-ass version of the T-800?

Arnold back on for T-5 — LA Times

T5 is probably gonna have to be a little airbrushed

NFL Lockout Update

The NFL is appealing the recent District Court decision that ended the Lockout, so naturally they petitioned the court to allow them to keep the Lockout in effect until their appeal is heard. The Judge flipped them the legal finger and denied the request. So in theory, the lockout is supposed to be over. But it won’t be. Team Owners won’t do crap until the last possible second.

Fortunately for us, the League will put on a good show tonight. Unfortunately, we’ll probably have to hear some talk about how hard they’re working to find a resolution. I don’t buy it, but at least I’ll get to watch teams pick which college kid they’ll give more money than I’ll earn in a lifetime.

NFL asks Judge to keep lockout until Appeal: Judge Denies — LA Times

Goodell and Smith engaged in a classic "Pensive-off"

Madden Cover Boy

Voters have chosen Browns RB, Peyton Hillis, as the face of Madden 2012. Has there ever been a more obvious example of an inevitable Madden Curse?

Browns fans cannot be happy about this.

Peyton Hillis lands Madden Cover — CNN

"Shit, I need to get better insurance."


  1. Ryno, no. He did not release a long form birth certificate. You said that he released it years ago, and you are mistaken. Hillary Clinton requested it, Chris Matthews said present it already, Democrats have been asking for it, for years people have asked politely, some even filed lawsuits. The candidate and President has spent millions to hide the long form birth certificate, his college documents, medical records, and all the documents that Presidents disclose. Who knows why…but get it over with already.
    Last year, Governor Abercrombie, Democrat of Hawaii, vowed to end the debate once and for all by presenting the long form, he searched, he held press conferences, then he abandoned his search.
    All of these people tried and failed to compel the President disclose this long form.

    A Reality TV star told our President what to do and our President cowered and complied. A Reality TV star made our President his bitch.
    A Great Leader? A Reality TV star makes our President his bitch, and our President goes on Oprah. Churchill would not do that. He would have a cigar, a bourbon and laugh at Trump’s silly suntan.
    Personally, I missed the Oprah show,but did the ladies exchange some juicing ideas for todays active moms and world leaders? Kale to the Chief.

    Be Presidential. Make your press conferences about why you let the French take the lead in Libya, or address one idea to pay down the debt. Don’t stand over the Presidential Seal of the United States of America and say, “I don’t have time for this silliness”, then jet off to the Oprah show. Lock it up, Mr. President. If you “don’t have time” then for Godsakes, don’t take the time! Why are you talking about this when your Press secretary is talking about the new CIA director? That is not good leadership.

    • Actually, Obama was booked on Oprah long before the debacle. He just chose to address it on the show. Not sure if thats a positive though.

      As for releasing the birth certificate, its semantics. Just completely disagree with your assessment on Obama. You hated him while he was running, so you will hate every single thing he does now. Its amazing. I liked him when he was running, so while I want more from him, I just don’t hate his every move like you do. His biggest problem is that he tries to reach across the aisle TOO much (only a problem because the other side doesn’t reach across at all) so everything he does gets watered down. So trying to find the middle ground, a Positive attribute you’d want in any leader, is his biggest weakness and why our country is in dumps right now.

      You are 100% wrong about one thing. Churchill was a badass, but he didn’t have Oprah on in his day. Churchill was so worried about losing public opinion like he did numerous times in his career, that he would have definitely hit the Oprah circuit if he had to. It wasn’t until Hitler proved Churchill’s doomsday ravings true that Churchill was seen to be a great leader.

      We haven’t been attacked since 9/11, so all ANY president can do is put up with the crap in front of him. All Obama can do is “lead” us through budget negotiations and handle petty shit that his opponents make him deal with. Otherwise he’s criticized for ignoring the “issues”. Its a lose-lose for the guy (and any president in a 2 party system) until he has a chance to climb on top of the rubble and say “I hear you, and soon the guys who knocked down these buildings will hear you too.”

    • By the way Stratton, I’m gonna remember you referring to Trump as JUST a “reality star”. Is that all he is now? Not a business mogul, or as you once put it, brilliant because “he builds skyscrapers in major cities, do you know how tough that is and what that takes?”

      So the GOPs best chance right now is JUST a Reality TV star. I can’t wait to bring this back up later.

  2. Obama says GO BULLS BABY!!!!

  3. “”””You are 100% wrong about one thing. Churchill was a badass, but he didn’t have Oprah on in his day.””””

    Excellent sentance Ryno. You got me.
    After some researching, I confess, Churchill did not have Oprah. Egg is on my face.