Crap you should read Friday (4/22)

Obama Challenging Oil Pricing

As our nation watches gas prices skyrocket again, President Obama is establishing a team to determine if something other than supply and demand is the cause of the creep towards $5 a gallon. He wants to ensure that Big Oil isn’t falsifying numbers, or acting like a cartel and arbitrarily holding our country hostage to their pricing. Sure people can say our wars in the middle east are causing this, but foreign oil only accounts for less than half of our national consumption. Why is domestic oil still so expensive? Answer: because you’ll still pay it.

Do we really need a team to determine if someone was screwing us and keeping Gas prices up? It’s brilliant business: take your product, charge $2 for it. Then raise the price to $4; people will bitch and complain. Now you will drop the price to $2.75 and people are thrilled. But hey, the median just rose $.75. Then rinse and repeat.

UPDATE: the Gas pricing team just came back with a one word answer to Obama’s inquiry: “DUH”.

Obama challenging Oil Price Manipulation — Reuters

"My Left Testicle" is the price for Diesel

Senator Resigns

Republican Senator John Ensign from Nevada will resign in May following a scandal or two. Amongst other things, the Senator was banging a campaign aid, who was also the wife of his Chief of Staff. Then this class act had his parents give $100,000 to her family, then he used his position to find lobbying work for his cuckold Chief of Staff. Although a Senate committee cleared Ensign from any criminal behavior, the Senator still chose to step down.  As of right now, the seat looks to be filled by a fellow Republican, but the seat will be heavily contested in the next election.

Sure the money part of the thing stinks, so does screwing over your chief of staff (who is usually a close friend, according to movies and TV shows), but why do we care who our public officials are banging? I don’t like that the guy cheated on his wife, but isn’t that grounds for divorce, not resignation? Shouldn’t he lose his friends, not his seat? Or was he not forced to resign, but rather just didn’t have any hot ass left in the office to pounce on?

Senator Ensign Resigns — CNN

"I wonder what Blogoyovich is up to"

FL House passes anti Pill Mill Law

Pill mills are going down. Earlier in the week, Obama and the Feds announced they were going after pill mills and doctor shopping, now Florida’s House of Reps passed legislation to do the same. For those of you who don’t abuse or sell pills, this means very little. But for my readers who like a little chemical buzz, times are a changing. Right now prescription med overdoses are the 2nd highest cause of death in our country, and Florida alone has over 1,100 “pill mills”.  Due to the “valid” uses of the pills, they don’t carry the stigma that cocaine or heroin do, but they are significantly more common…so are the dangers. Kids are starting to use these meds at younger ages because of the abundance in their parents medicine cabinets.

So who does this legislation target? Offices that are supplying high numbers of drugs, and patients who are getting drugs from numerous doctors. Previously, investigators were not allowed to peruse the drug databases because it was considered an infringement on a person’s right to medical privacy. Gov. Rick Scott initially refused the database browsing, but has since relented. Now the government suddenly has an over-riding need to protect people, find out where the drugs are coming from, and where they are headed. Also, Doctors will not be allowed to dispense the powerful narcotics, only pharmacies. This will allegedly make it easier to track. Small pain centers will be limited in what they can dispense and will have to get extra licensing to ensure they aren’t helping the abusers.

The House plan differs from a proposed Senate plan that has less provisions.

Don’t worry guys, this has nothing to do with Viagra.

FL House passes Pill-Mill Legislation — Sun-Sentinel

Rush Limbaugh's medicine cabinet

Dissent among NFL players

Once upon a time there were the players, and the owners. Owners paid players to play, and the players made the owners lots of money. There was a happy balance, but then the owners decided they weren’t getting enough of the pie, and now we are left without knowing when our Fantasy Football draft can take place. All summer long we will hear about how owners don’t think they are making enough money, and players don’t want to give back the piece of their pie they agreed to just a couple short years ago. Of course, if you ask me, you know I support the laborers, the guys who literally break their bodies to play the game. So it was much easier for me to have just one side to “root” for.

Now it turns out the players cant even agree amongst themselves, and might now be splintering off. A group of players is unhappy at their current “representation” at the table. The details of their distress haven’t been released, but Twitter has let us know that all are less than happy. But why? Some say they think the players Reps are playing games, but not with monopoly money. They think that the superstars dont necessarily have the lower totem-pole guys on their radar. Is this true? Many feel that the NFL owners are behind this dissent as they have been reaching out to players and spreading their owner propaganda. Is this a shady tactic? Should it be allowed? Regardless, it has worked, and now some players are in a tizzy.

This divide and conquer strategy is brilliant, and dissent among players means that the NFL will get some of the concessions it wants in this deal. This is ridiculous. I say they just play for it. I for one would love to see Jerry Jones and Steven Ross put on some pads and take it to the gridiron. Can we just get this all done before September so I can figure out who my next 1st round disappointment will be?

Splinter Group of NFL players disagree and want seat at Labor table — USA Today Is League manipulation behind dissent among NFL Players? — USA Today

"Roger Goodell is THIS big"

Greatest Movie Ever Sold

Morgan Spurlock has done it again. The man behind “Super Size Me”, the movie that showed just how un-healthy a fast food diet can be, has made the “Greatest Movie Ever Sold.” Basically in the documentary, Spurlock, ever the gregarious salesman, sells product placement for this movie which is all about product placement. He wears the brand names on his outfit like a Nascar driver, and even sold naming rights to his movie, so now its POM Wonderful presents “The Greatest Movie Ever Sold.” He explores the balance between creative control versus the desire to push products. Basically, are we watching drama, or an ad?

While some of the marketing in this film is pretty smart, it is a 90 minute commercial, one has to wonder why the advertising industry was so willing to go along with a film that shows what a joke the industry is. Its a no-win. Advertisers need to reach us, and with DVR, fewer people watch commercials, so new ways were needed to reach us. Now we play by the Steven Spielberg rules. He knew ET was going to be huge, so he got a candy maker to pay him to put their candy in his film. Reeses Pieces blew up. Now we get to see Jack Bauer saving the world using his Sprint flip phone.

One thing I appreciate is how Spurlock approaches his material. He isn’t Michael Moore, screaming from the rooftops and manipulating you with his over emotional/irrational ramblings. He is sarcastic, witty, and does his shtick tongue in cheek. Makes for a much more enjoyable read, and to be honest, I usually buy what he’s selling. So did the 20 companies that “paid for” this movie.

This review was paid for by the committee to promote The Ryno’s Horn.

Anyone else get the feeling Lindsay Lohan will be wearing this outfit soon?


  1. How can one person stop Gas Price Gouging madness? This system has been in place for decades and rooted so far up this economy’s A$$ that it seems impossible to change. Thanks again Mr. Bush! Both of you!

  2. Good stuff!
    Let’s put Jones and Ross in pads, then take some football players and have them evaluate a spreadsheet and build a stadium!
    I wonder if Jerry Jones has ever worn sweatpants in a nightclub and shot himself in the leg?