Lindsay Lohan Begging to Be in Another Movie

Who is the washed up lady next to Victoria Gotti?

When she isn’t running around town stealing everything not bolted down, Lindsay Lohan spends her days lying about possible roles she’s being considered for. The most recent role she is begging for is to play Victoria Gotti, daughter of the infamous Gambino Family Boss, John Gotti. When asked why she wanted to the role so badly, Lindsay replied “Rolls? Someone has Ecstasy?”

Travolta, the lead star actually attached to the Gotti project, was at least paying attention to reporters long enough to provide this Hollywood nugget:

“I know first hand that Lindsay Lohan happens to be a big fan of mine,” Travolta said at the event. “I’ve always thought she was gorgeous and talented and filled with a lot of depth. So, I think that whatever she would like to do would be great with me.”

What is he talking about? He knows first hand how big of a fan she is of HIS? How egotistical is this dude? Did she blow him while reading his IMDB page? Likely not as Travolta  is the gayest thing in Hollywood not named Glee.

"MMMM, you taste like a Royal w Jizz"

Even if Travolta was straight, would he bang this Ginger felon?

Different hair color, same Orange jumpsuit

I’ll be honest, this be-freckled angel stole my heart in everything post Parent Trap, but she’s fallen so far down the sexy-tree it hurts. Acknowledging that her boob-to-waist ratio is off the charts, how friggen weathered does this chick look? Shes 24 years old for crying out loud! She looks like she could be Kelly Preston’s mom.

There are some pics where she still looks sexy, but in the majority of them she looks like she eats cigarettes. Her raspy voice isn’t sexy anymore. Her skin looks like its one tanning session away from a melanoma ad, and while I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t bang her,  I would definitely wrap it up for more than just the important parts.

She is washed up, and a jokey shell of her former self. But is it her “fault”? I know she’s an adult who can control her own bat-shit crazy antics, but isn’t she a classic example of the powers of Nurture v. Nature? She was born beautiful, talented, and with great cans, but her nutty, attention-craving parents destroyed this poor girl. Between their media-whoring, and the paparazzi incessant desire to catch her demise on camera, this girl never stood a Britney’s-shot-in-hell.

She really needs to take some Ben Affleck post-JLo advice and get the heck out of the public eye for a while. Or follow the career path of the big fella who’s career you admire so much, lock yourself indoors with a good Samantha Ronson party-mix and check back in 2015 in a supporting role in a Tarantino movie.

Until then, can somebody get this girl some SPF 60?

One Comment

  1. If I met her, I would put my face betwixt her godly melons, motor boat for 30-45 seconds and then push her down a flight of stairs.

    This is all contingent upon me not having to take a drug test within a month of meeting her as there is no way she does not have cocaine residue in her cleavage.

    She is so nasty these days, I don’t think Herbie would even bang her.