Crap you should read Thursday (4/14)

Porn:

Turns out the Porn industry isn’t as rock hard as previously believed. Corporate porn is ejaculating dollars everywhere with Free sites donkey-punching them in the stomach. Is there a way to fluff profits back up, or will the “tube” sites continue to bukkake the industry?

Free Internet “Tube” Porn sites milking corporate porn profits? — USA Today

I have no idea why this page is showing in my history. Honest

NBA Basketball:

Playoffs are heating up, which mean tempers flare too. Kobe gets pissed, drops a homophobic slur, and the NBA execs fined him $100k. Fair? No. He’ll appeal the decision on the grounds that its “so gay.”

Kobe fined for Gay slur…No Homo — ABC News

"See, I love The Gays!"

Bulls guard seems to be is the lock for the MVP? Not so fast, as Derrick’s stats aren’t as Rosey as supporters could hope.

NBA MVP up for grabs, or is it all Rose-y? — USA Today

I vote for Carlos Arroyo

Concussions are a problem in the NBA? Wear helmets.

Concussions in the NBA, problem or outlier? — USA Today

"Im taking my talents to...forget it, I'm gonna rest right here"

Budget Mess:

So Obama announces the Donkeycrat counter-plan to the Republican slash job. Turns out Republicans think his plan is the pits! You don’t say! You make the call

Budget plans compared. Side by Side. Exciting Shit — Reuters

Wake me up at 4:20

Suprisingly, Republicans think Obama’s budget plan sucks — Huffington Post

Paul Ryan explains the size of Obama's "Cham"

Nancy Pelosi doesn’t feel any responsibility to pass the budget plan as it was made entirely without her input. Turns out not a single woman was involved in the budget negotiations. Look, it may be miserable, but every household knows that if you want to balance the checkbook, have the Mrs. do it. Just know that you will lose NFL package on DirecTV.

Pelosi feels no need to pass budget since women weren’t asked for input — Huffington Post

"I see a charge here for $190 to Chun Li Massage. Anyone going to fess up?

Taxes:

While we hear so much about tax hikes for the rich, and the programs cut for the poor, how does the other 75% of our country feel these days? Turns out they don’t hate the government as much as Fox News says they do. Majority of Americans actually feel that the taxes that they pay are “fair” and appreciate the pros that come with government involvement in their life, so long as they don’t tell them who to bang and what they can smoke.

Americans think they taxes they pay are fair — MSNBC

Jobs:

Oh yeah, so not only are people OK with their taxes, but there are more job openings now than have been in years. Wait, so there is work out there? Would that count as JOB CREATION? I mean we hear so much that all these plans kill jobs, but they are on the rise. Is it possible that someone out there is trying to scare us into thinking the world is collapsing, or is it more likely that monster.com is lying?

Job Openings on the rise?— MSNBC

Snooki makes some more money posing for Monster.com Logo

Baseball:

Barry Bonds is convicted of obstruction of justice. Its not so much that he lied, but more that he stood in the doorway when the Justice was trying to leave. Pittsburgh Barry would have gotten away with it, but San Fran Barry’s head is just too damn big.

Barry Bonds convicted of Obstruction of Justice — MSNBC

One head grew, the other shrunk

4 Comments

  1. Production values on adult movies are very low with the exception of a couple of studios. Performers are lucky if they make 4 figures for a shoot. Studios and producers are never at a loss for young, cheap, fresh meat. I say let this bloated industry deflate, just like the music and film industry need to. Long live the tubes and p2p!

  2. This was the best stuff that you’ve had.

  3. Great news about the jobs! See, when President Obama said that it was absolutely essential to take ONE TRILLION dollars out of the private sector or borrow it, he would keep the unemployment rate under 8%. I told you! President Obama is our savior. People that have read Amity Shales’ The Forgotten Man are always quick to point out that government stimulus only prolongs recessions, but the Rhino Horn shows you, jobs are up only two years after the $1,000,000,000,000 stimulus infusion and unemployement is way under 8%! Just like VP Sleepy said. Whatever they say, I believe. Just feed it me, and I’ll eat it up. Those thinking book readers just want to kill old ladies, starve school children, and force sluts to pay for their own abortions! Let’s get together and call them names!

    • Actually, Doolittle PhD, I don’t think this had anything to do with the stimulus. I think this would instead bolster the argument that the tax breaks led to job creation. I just don’t think that’s the case. My point (which you often miss to go on your rants) was that we hear the doomsday stats all the time, about how current regulations kill jobs, and that the world is going to end, but in fact, jobs are still available, and more of them are out there. “The End is Near” press, especially the State of Fear machine is ridiculous.